MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

I can't see any issues with what you have asked for. Baby will be tucked away safely and you can call in to feed them as and when. No one is stealing anyone's limelight. It's all too much faff. You have both sensibly withdrawn from the day and are now doing your own thing

Ah what a sad outcome. Your sister will live to regret this behaviour.

A tiny baby sleeping in a pram in the corner would hardly steal the limelight. Your sister will bite her words one day. Sorry if it causes you anguish and stress right now but you are best staying away if she can’t accommodate a newborn. Babies need their mummy close by. This is your bonding time.

I presume your sister is childless? She's being a brat and kindly OP you are being unrealistic. Newborn baby will be too young to leave esp if breast feeding and you wouldn't enjoy the wedsing worrying xx

The OP has already said she’s no longer attending the wedding.

It's very, very strange to be as blatantly selfish as this, and who on earth thinks a baby is going to steal the limelight off the bride? Unless you are all acting as though your baby is the next Messiah, and your sister doesn't think of you as being as close as you do..?
I wouldn't bother going. This will just be the tip of the ice berg, she's going to be insufferable.

She's being absolutely ridiculous. Tell her you won't be able to be MOH at all unless the baby can be upstairs in the same building so you are free to go to him and feed him as required. Don't even get into negotiating it. Just tell her that's how it has to be.

And if the baby has to be in another hotel a drive away then you will be there for the ceremony only and then you'll have to leave. There is absolutely no way on earth you can leave a baby just a few weeks old for an entire day and evening.

Edit: you made the right decision. Sorry your sister is so unreasonable. Part of me hopes all the guests spend the entire day asking where the baby is.

Good luck OP. Entirely unavoidable and really sad you had to cancel but as you’ll see when wee one here 100% the right decision.

Just be prepared to be narrated as the unreasonable one… not at all the case but entitled folk rarely accept they caused a situation.

Good luck too with the birth and hoping now you can enjoy the rest of your term.

My cousin did the same for her nieces. She had two sisters, each of whom brought a baby girl to the wedding. The babies posed in their 'flower baby' frocks with the wedding party for the official photos.

I think your sister probably doesn't realise how difficult it is to leave a 4-6 week old baby for an extended period of time. Your suggestion for the baby to be in a room upstairs is a good compromise. Don't agree to have the baby in a different hotel and it's also not very realistic for you to go for 1-2 days without the baby at that age if you are trying to establish breastfeeding. Many babies of that age won't take a bottle and you don't know how yours will be. A lot of people are completely unrealistic about babies' needs before they have babies of their own or one in their close family (e.g., that they have to look after occasionally) - I know I was!

I can understand if she is having a child-free wedding, why she might say no to having the baby at the wedding. But what harm is having the baby upstairs being looked after by someone else? No harm whatsoever, it would have absolutely no impact on her wedding day. She is being unreasonable and I personally would take the baby to the hotel room and have your mother-in-law look after the baby there. Otherwise, she might blame you for not going to her wedding.

Your sister will regret her selfish attitude one day! What did the rest of your family say about it?

Totally irrelevant whether or not you would manage. Your sister is being a massive bridezilla to the point she would rather have her sister miss her wedding rather than have her tiny baby hidden upstairs in a room for occasional breastfeeding.

if you were my sister I would be ordering a tiny flower girl outfit for you to be walking down the aisle with my niece in your arms and making sure you had a dress you could easily get your boobs out in.

the irony is that you and the baby (and your absence) WILL take the attention from her as everyone will be speculating about why you aren’t there.

Absolutely not. Mum can't be parted from your newborn even for 2 hours at such an early point and furthermore you won't want to be. This is just a biological fact and it's not about her. I'd make my apologies now.

Well done for pulling out. Due to her selfishness your sister will miss having her sister at her wedding and that is entirely her fault. If she was reasonable you could have gone as a guest with your baby with no bridesmaid duties (your husband could have still been a groomsman). I hope she comes to regret this decision and apologises to you one day.

Your sister is being so, so selfish. It’s bonkers. She doesn’t get to decide if you bring your baby to a hotel, whilst a family member looks after him/her. Weird behaviour.

I honestly wouldn’t go op.

Oh that’s a shame she can’t compromise on that.

I’ve seen it here in the past that ‘child free’ doesn’t mean babies, but obviously here it does.

You’re obviously not as close as you thought :(

what the FUCK is wrong with your sister?!

This over and over. Weddings have become more about a Instagram pics than about joy, love and family. I had to limit kids at mine to two per couple because of £££ but it was so much fun thanks to children doing dance offs and babies looking gorgeous. Of course a baby will upstage the bride - babies are lush! Who cares?

OP - congratulations. Babies are a joy and I wish you every health and happiness.

I will add no one knows what kind of delivery they will have - you might not be happy to leave the sofa at 4 weeks.

What awful behaviour..Your sister sounds like a selfish person.

Just seen your update. Totally understandable. I hope you are ok. Good luck with your little bundle and congratulations x

Tell her you can't go because your newborn will need you and if she's forcing you to be apart on the day then you have no choice but to put your baby first and not attend, she will either throw a fit about it or accept you will need to have your baby close to you

She’s been a huge diva. My friend was the exact same. My baby was 10days old at her wedding and she resented me fully. We no longer speak because of her actions and I wish I’d never gone to the wedding. This is harder as she’s your sister but that makes me think she’s even more unreasonable. Can you parents talk to her? I’m not sure what I’d do but my gut says I’d tell her to absolutely piss off.

Very sad to hear but absolutely bonkers level of entitlement from your sister. My sis got married when my baby was 5 months. Baby was invited, it was first time many family members had met her, and DSis didn't bat an eyelid. Actually she was delighted to have her niece in attendance. She even bought her a special dress for the occasion. It didn't take away from the specialness of the day for her, at all.