MOH for sister and newborn not allowed in wedding venue

Baby comes first

Yeah, bridezilla and a 6 week old baby are not a good mix.

Just pass on it. Tell her thats fine, you can't leave a baby that age for 2 days, so regretfully you can't be MOH.

For context, I was MOH for my best friend, but her sister organised a really boozy hen do, based around learning to make a series of cocktails with a mixologist. She was preggers, so couldn't drink at all, which you'd be right to think 🤔. I'm a recovered alcoholic so I have to avoid occasions like this if I can possibly avoid it. She gave me "permission" not to come - not in a controlling way but in a "you may not fancy this" kind of way. I didn't go. No hard feelings.

Your sister is a ridiculously immature individual who doesn’t sound mature enough to be married.

Your sister is being a diva and honestly, you put your child first at all times. No, imo it's not okay to have tour newborn baby so far away and you won't even know how you feel after the birth when hormones are crazy. You won't want to leave your baby. I'd definitely choose my child over my sister anyday if they out me in this position.

Sorry but your sister is being a childish twat. She needs to giver head a wobble. That’s her niece/nephew and any new life should be marvelled and cherished. Duck out of the wedding now. I’m so angry on your behalf.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Unfortunately you and your sister are not as close as you thought, or like many pp have said, she wouldn't be this unreasonable. You're doing the right thing and on her head be it. Enjoy every second with your precious one when they arrive 💐

You have absolutely made the right decision. Your sister will understand when she has her own baby.

I would not be going!

What a selfish, horrible human. My opinion, i wouldn’t be there. My focus would be solely on my baby and nothing else. She’s jealous of her own niece/nephew, how childish and immature. Withdraw now. You have bigger things happening in your life. If that’s how my own sister can treat me, then she wouldn’t be worth my time. I’d be out! Good grief!!

I agree.

who would worry about a baby upstaging them ! i mean really.
i don’t get these all about me only brides i really don’t . no one will forget its your day. but if i was a guest attending the wedding and onew this that alone would make me think very differently if the bride going forward

your sister sounds incredibly self obsessed 🙃

sorry but it’s her wedding, it’s a big deal to her and her partner but to say she won’t allow her own nephew on site in case he steals her limelight is so childish.

my brother got married when my baby was 7 weeks old, he attended the wedding with me (I was a bridesmaid) and I still found this really hard! Being away from him while I got ready etc. I’d be pulling out

It's very sad that your sister made you do this. I hope that when/if she has a baby she will realise how unreasonably she has behaved. It's utter madness not to let your MIL look after the baby upstairs and have you pop back and forth to breastfeed and look after the little one. Sending you all the best for the birth xxx

I have read this exact thread before, some time last year! Basically the same wording too. I had to check it wasn't a reopened post!

Don't go is my advice. She's a bridezilla if she thinks a baby in a hotel room well away from the proceedings is "upstaging" her! She obviously doesn't feel as close to you, as you do to her, if she is being like this! Yes it's her day, but it's not going to impact anything for her, she will hardly be paying you any attention at all, so wouldn't notice if you slipped away to feed your baby!
Weddings seem to turn people into absolute lunatics!

I would tell her to get lost with her demands and be with your baby. This is nuts.

I'm glad you've made the right decision.
I wish you much joy with your forthcoming new baby.

Your sister is a lunatic. Tell her to stuff her wedding up her arse, and go and have a nice family day out somewhere. 😃

Your sister is self obsessed and frankly batshit. You step down. You rent the room for your baby and you and you tell her you can either have her agree to do this or you don’t come to the wedding. I hope she looks back at her behaviour and winces. A wedding is celebrating love that a couple has for each other. Jealous of a baby? Fucks sake. That’s made me cross ❎

Agree with everyone else as a mum and a midwife, she's being horrifically awful to you.
One day she may have her own baby and will know what she tried to put you through hopefully. Will you please let us know if she changes her mind? A loving sister hopefully will.

Don’t go. Are you planning to breastfeed? You will need to be close to do this and you are unlikely to want to leave your baby for this period of time when they are 4 weeks old, you probably won’t enjoy the wedding. No idea why the baby can’t be bought along to see everyone after the ceremony and then taken upstairs for the meal and reception. Everyone is going to be asking after it anyway and asking if they can sneak up to have a look, so just get it over in one hit. MIL is not going to want to sit in room for hours … what if baby won’t settle, be nice for her to walk around the grounds / area with baby in pram.
Your sister is being selfish and nasty … she needs to grow up. Imagine being that jealous of her own niece / nephew.

Absolutely. Tell your Bridezilla of a sister that your baby comes first now, and always.

It’s sad your sister couldn’t see how the presence of a new baby injects extra joy into large gatherings, especially weddings.

As pps have suggested, this is an own goal on your sister’s part, since everyone will be wondering why you’re not there, and asking her for news/photos of her new niece/ nephew.

Oh well, I’m sure your parents will be sharing stacks of baby photos left and right.

Too bad for your sister!

Think child free weddings are fine but this is so OTT and unreasonable. I had a very strictly child free wedding myself, but a friend (not even sister) was in a similar position to you and had a similar arrangement of someone nearby taking care of the child. Baby made several appearances throughout the course of my wedding for a cuddle and a feed - we've got a great photo of my mum cooing over him - total non issue

I have a 4 week old DS. Like fuck would I be leaving him for anything longer than a couple of hours atm. Just no.

I’m assuming your sister doesn’t have any children?
Typically women act this way when they do not know what is involved postpartum. If she understood then, she would see how unreasonable her demands are.

if I was in your position just simply say you cannot attend if baby is staying 20mins away. I wonder if once she has some time to think it through & feel your absence she might change her mind.

What you are proposing is perfectly reasonable for a new mother & TBH it would also be perfectly reasonable not to attend at all & just focus on your new baby (even if baby can come to the wedding).