Irritated by grandparent videos for toddler

YANBU OP.

I don’t show my 1yo anything on the phone and try not to use it around her - no way would I be showing her videos on it! My DM is super involved but wouldn’t expect us to do that.

It’s a heartfelt advice from someone who knows how hard life can be to be annoyed about stuff that one day you’ll remember as innocuous. Unless you choose to live a life of drama over small things. But one day, when big problems will come on the way, you’ll remember how small these things were and you’ll realise how lucky you were. That’s why it gets trotted out. It’s about having some perspective. But if people choose not to happy days !

When my parents retired they became very demanding of mine and my siblings time. I think over time retired people forget how hectic working life is, never mind with a toddler/baby.
I would gently say this to them tbh.

I also get anxious if I’ve not responded to something, so it can feel like a burden for this reason.

Good luck

Just be honest

Exactly, the memories come from seeing the grandparents, not having your phone blown up.

Exactly! I really can't imagine the child will grow up with lots of warm fuzzy memories of being sent WhatsApp videos.

You then ignore the further follow up

every time they send you a video

send them a link to why screens are bad for children

https://www.thestar.co.uk/education/screen-time-experts-screens-causing-permanent-damage-children-under-6-change-5156431

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c9d0l40v551o

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10353947/

here are some to get you started

Why does this always get trotted out? 🙄

Oh wow, I have the same problem! It's so annoying!

In my case, my child just isn't interested at all. Especially when I just get sent a picture of a park in germany that they saw on holiday. He doesn't care, neither do I. Leave me alone! I already hate my phone as it is without this nonsense 😂

If I show him a video of an animal or fire engine or something, he just kind of stares blankly, like So what? I've also told them it's pointless but they insist.

As a grandmother who doesn’t see enough of her grandson this makes me sad. Be glad they’re interested and care.

Hi both, sorry but I'm trying to limit screen time as it's been shown to be detrimental to babies development, Im sure you understand that as cute as the video is baby comes first :-)

I'd find it annoying as I try to not show any screens to my toddler.

My dad tried to show my son a few videos and was then shocked and called him naughty because he had a tantrum when he suddenly took the phone away. My son also then relentlessly wanted to see videos as soon as he would see a phone. It took a few days for him to forget about it.

So i would be annoyed at the constant pushing of screens in a 2 year old's face.

A weekly video call would be better.

Either lie or just say you’re trying to keep him off screens.

I can’t think of anything worse for my two-year old grandchild right now than having daily screen gawping sessions. What’s the point?

Like OP says, it just winds hers up. Mine would be the same.

And fuck the ‘which parts did dgc like best?’ post-match analysis every day or two.

I would have a set time each day/every other day/as appropriate to show him the video/s, so it becomes part of his routine.

That sounds a good idea to me. It would also help for him to get into a habit, as you can say he can watch it twice, then 'finished'.

That is beyond the pale. I’d ask them to stop, on screen time grounds.

Can you have a conversation with them to understand what they’re looking for from these exchanges? Do they want to be in his life more? Are there other ways of going about it?

My parents used to send postcards to DD when she was a toddler and they are a lovely keepsake now that they’re both dead. Would they consider that? (Maybe don’t mention the being dead bit)

My parents send videos of animals in their garden. Kids love them. Never found it annoying or an issue honestly - I liked that they were involved and the kids liked to see. All I ever send back is a heart react and say they loved it/quote an observation. I get it if they are constantly sending them and hounding you for a response, but in the grand scheme of things...

One unreasonable thing that did used to bother me with babies though was being sent flowers. When you've already got your hands full with kids, and you're sleep deprived, the last thing you want to do is trim and prepare a bouquet of flowers, find a vase, continually wipe up stray petals/leaves, then tip it all out and clean the vase out again in a few days. Especially when there are other things you would actually enjoy!

Have a set time that you and toddler will spend looking at the videos each day if you can, whether that’s before bath time, while having cuddles after work, whatever works for you. Stick to it and remind grandparents whenever needed. ‘No, he hasn’t seen it yet, we’ll watch it later before his bath’.
It might actually be helpful to have a face to face conversation as well.
‘Charlie loves your videos but I don’t always have time to show them to him as soon as you send them because I’m at work/doing nursery pick up/making dinner/doing housework/taking him to toddler group. There’s no need for you to send me another text chasing me up- I’ll get to it when I have time’ .

But the OP says her son likes them? Why would she try to stop something her son enjoys.

I'm 65 and have a grandchild on the way. I would not do this because I would not support a reliance on screens. Also, there's a huge difference between a short video of a Kingfisher (which I've only seen three times in my 65 years) and daily funnies of the cats.

Also, I remember the busyness, multitasking and sticking to routine with young children.

Look, someone normal!

Grandparents have had toddlers themselves. But none of them have experience of the effect that smartphones and short form videos have on many toddlers. It can be an absolute nightmare.

I would just say ‘thanks mum/dad, that’s a sweet video but I’m decided to stop letting him watch things on my phone because I don’t think it’s good for him. Thanks for thinking of him though!’

I think it’s not the videos as such, more the insistence that he has to look at them right then and there and if not they will follow it up with another text, as if the OP has nothing better to do and doesn’t have a busy life looking after a toddler! It comes across as entitled.

You don’t have to answer , or answer as quickly. Train them, you giving a quick response trains them to expect one. Be less responsive.