Partner lied to me about his best friend cheating

As it was none of your business you didnt need to interrogate him, if someome did rhat to me i may lie to stop someone interfering in what is nothing to do with them

No, their relationship wasn't the Op's business. What is her business is that she now knows her DH is willing to lie to her face repeatedly, he only told the truth when he thought he about to found out. In her place that would shake my trust a bit, finding out your DH is a good liar isn't a happy thing

So you messaged her to get the gossip after you knew they'd split up? No wonder he didn't tell you. It is none of your business. You are making it about you now.

It’s a tricky one as if my best friend confided something in me I wouldn’t break that trust even if my husband asked me. Ultimately it had sod all to do with you. I hate cheats but I’d be lying if I said I’d turn my back on a good friend for this. You can say your piece about it and also still be a good friend to them without agreeing with their behaviour.

"Their Relationship is NONE of my business."
And then, literally, right after that:
"I am not angry that I didn’t know the details, I am angry that he has lied to me, to my face multiple times especially when I’ve asked him repeatedly."

You are utterly gossipy and I can see why your partner would not trust someone like you. She is not your friend. He is your partner's best friend. Stay away from it and keep you mouth shut instead of behaving like a petulant busybody.

What DP should have done is be absolutely clear with friend that he wouldnt lie FOR THEM. He wouldnt tell if not asked, but he wouldnt lie if asked.

Why would you be so concerned it’s nothing to do with you and it’s a bit of a shitty situation to put your partner in. Do you share everything with him? You are making this about you

It sounds like your partner lied to you because he knows what you’re like for gossiping! There’s no way you’d have been able to resist saying something to other gossips who asked you about it. It’s none of your business and it wasn’t your partner’s news to share.

Yanbu
He lied to your face.
His loyalty lies with his best friend. I would be very miffed he didn’t trust you.
I would message the exGF and see how she is.

exactly this, if he had told you, that wouldnt have been the end of it, you would have wanted to know details, who it was with? is he going to tell his gf? are they going to break up? etc

Then imo you should have messaged her and asked if she was alright.

If you aren't close enough to ask then I don't know why you needed to know, like needed to know to ask multiple times.

He didn't want to tell you what his friend had told him. So what?

Are you telling me.if your friend told you something in confidence that you'd tell your boyfriend?

you wouldnt have told her, but you would have gone on and on about it to your partner and maybe he just didnt want to hear all your thoughts on his friend and the relationship that has nothing to do with either of you.

I wouldn't appreciate my partner lying to me about it either. He could have said sorry but he wasn't able to tell you as he promised friend to not speak about it to anyone and for you to please stay out the situation. Yes he wouldn't have shared it with you and therefore kept his promise to his friend, but he wouldn't have lied to you about it either.

Your partner is ok with his buddy abusing his gf. Cheating is emotional, mental, and physical abuse and possibly financial. That's a big red flag as to your partner's lack of character. He lied to you to cover up for his buddy. Another big red flag.

Open your eyes to the people around you. If they do it to others they will do it to you. Your partner already lied to you multiple times to protect an abusive friend.

Not borne out by OP's posts? She said :

I told him a good friend shouldn’t come at the expense of lying to my face for months.

And of course he was aiding and betting his friend. If he had an ounce of moral decency he should have been at the very least cooling his friendship with this guy when he knew he was a cheat. And by not telling his friends g/f and lying to OP in case she had had the decency to let the g/f know then of course he was aiding and betting the cheating.

I feel very sorry for the g/f . She must be devastated to find out not only was she being cheated on but that it was common knowledge and no one gave her the heads up. The poor woman.

OP knows her partner has no hesitation in lying to her face. No doubt if her partner also cheats on her she will be the last to know given the lack of decency in the friendship group.

if you hadn’t asked, I can understand why he wouldn’t tell you- but the fact you asked and he has lied to you on multiple occasions, would ring alarm bells to me. I can’t stand any type of lie, even a white lie.

and who protects a cheat?????

Your making their drama about you. How ridiculous.

How are you making their break up about you?

I honestly don’t think I could continue a friendship with a man like this and surprised your partner can.

I would also be LIVID if a friend put me in this position by coming to me to brag about their affair. What a weasel.

How did your partner discover the cheating.

I get why he would not tell you as you would tell his girlfriend blowing up the situation.

But I get your anger and his repeatedly lying to your face. Seems like he wanted to protect his scumbag friend above all. I may have told my friend I cannot lie to my partner so cannot be around them if they intend to cheat.