What are some symptoms as an adult woman that you didn’t realise were ADHD symptoms?

Cutting out the label of every top because it irritated me. Real sensory issues with things like wool. I vividly remember a really itchy wool dress I wore at about 4/5.

I too suspect that I have ADHD, particularly since perimenopause hit and all my ‘coping’ mechanisms stopped working. It’s clear to me now that I have been masking it for a very long time, looking back on my teen years and early childhood it was clear that something was going on, I was highly sensitive, impulsive, prone to meltdowns, rejection sensitivity etc.

I can’t hold a routine long term unless it’s enforced upon me, so I was great in school but once I left and became responsible for my own time I began to really struggle. I procrastinate terribly, I forget about the washing machine for example and have to re wash loads then I’ll leave it on the line for days and don’t get me started on putting washing away, I am queen of the ‘bagdrobe’. And doom piles.

I can’t stand the big light, harsh sunlight, being too hot is a sensory nightmare, I skin pick suffer from brain fog. I’m ok with noise, unless I’m trying to actively do something and then I literally cannot hear myself think.

I get hyper focused, mostly on stuff that is unproductive to actual life like crafts etc. Currently I am having trouble sleeping, I don’t nod off till nearly 2am, no matter how good my sleep hygiene is.

Interestingly, I do suffer from PTSD and underwent compassionate therapy for it last year.

I didn’t have childhood trauma, but I did have scatty signs that meant I never fulfilled my academic potential. Or any potential. I have really good, innovative, ideas. I was given awards in my profession for the, and other people made a lot of money from them. I never know what day of the week it is, never mind where my keys are. It was all manageable until menipause and now I am actually muddled. I am setting my potential because I need to be able to make appointments to manage my adhd but I can’t manage my adhd well enough to make appointments. So I am overdue for dentist, smear; eyes, mammogram, bowel and haircut.

I fucking hate it.

I got diagnosed at 49 and started meds. My driving is much better, no more scrapes and minor accidents. I finished my PhD and realised how much more quickly and efficiently I could work - before everything was 3 steps forward, 2 steps back at I made so many little errors

Indeed, but Jewish Gabor Mate and his mother being separated from each other when he was a baby in World War 11 war- torn Hungary was a trauma for him unrelated to his mother having taken drugs because she had undiagnosed ADHD. And I’d take more account of his ideas than Reddits!

The point is that is that trauma is one of the reasons there can be for ADHD symptoms.

My apologies, there was a typo. That should have said Dr Gabor Maté. This is the book.
www.amazon.co.uk/Scattered-Minds-Origins-Attention-Disorder/dp/1785042211

I have two adopted children who experienced what would be at the extreme end of early trauma. Both have adhd diagnoses (actually one has add). They also both have autism diagnoses.

No one can tell if they really have these conditions or if it is the early trauma.

This is a huge issue in the adoption world, where nearly all the children adopted in the UK from the care system have experienced early trauma.

Often it depends who you see. If you see an adoption- related specialist, they may see everything as trauma/attachment based. If you see a general therapist, they are more likely to go for one of the diagnoses like adhd.

The trouble is that things do overlap. And these children tend to come from families with significant challenges, which are possibly due to undiagnosed adhd or autism.

The Coventry grid tries to separate the early trauma out.

But certainly, you are going to get a lot more help if you get an adhd or asd diagnosis. Saying it's early trauma will get you absolutely nowhere.

I do believe that early trauma can cause adhd and asd type behaviour but the important point is that it's really early, developmental, not what happened to you later on.

Bruce Perry is, imo, the best source on early trauma. His book "The Boy WhovWas Raised as a Dog and Other Stories" is excellent.

I’m listening to Gabor Mate’s book on adhd which is a bit confronting.

I need the mediation. I was on wlvanse and it was amazing, but I had to make an appointment to get it again and didn’t - and that was a year ago…

I hate afhd

I think it is clouding things by blaming trauma for adhd symptoms. Gabor Mattes theories are unproven (as I discovered when I was blocked on Reddit for recommending him).

I don’t disagree that trauma can cause symptoms but if you go down that route, of trying to get evidence of trauma in childhood you risk alienating people. And the point I made earlier, that parents often have adhd themselves and possible addictions, ( self medicating) then it’s a combination which can’t really be easily separated.

It’s still early days relatively in getting to the root explanation of ND

This is good to know. As my Mum said when DS was diagnosed ‘oh he doesn’t have that - he just needs to concentrate more!’

I don’t think parents of 80s kids have any idea how ADHD presents in girls so there’s no point in asking them. I’m convinced me, my brother and my Dad all have inattentive ADHD. My Mum says ‘oh you’re all just like your Dad - you have lazyitis!’

Perimenopause/ADHD and long Covid all together are no fun. I’m barely functioning!

Just reading through all this thread but this struck me.

I have a theory that people with ADHD are more prone to Long Covid (I have it too) Nervous systems hammered for years through masking. I overdid the exercise (running). Then Covid damages our nervous system further….

As with many on here I am in my 50s and have started to consider this for me, since my mid 40s due to perimenopause symptoms starting with noise over stimulation that led me to consider adhd. There is A LOT of what is written here that resonates strongly across a variety of symptoms. Now that I am looking into it more I realise that it’s always been there, I’ve just been able to mask and mitigate. Peri is what has made this harder and now it is more obvious to me. I can see all the way back to my school days, clear signs. I would describe myself as highly capable chaotic disorganisation, with a high level of masking ability in that I always achieve but my route there is crazy and now I am older and peri I am utterly exhausted with the effort it takes to function “normally”.

A couple of things to add:

1 Stimming. A feature of my life always. I am a nail biter, skin chewer, leg bouncer, doodler, hummer. I can’t sit still without displaying these features some are stimulation to distract me from boredom such as doodling. I can’t be in any meeting without an A4 sheet which I cover in tiny hearts, squares, circles and swirls. Some are soothing such as trichotillomania - a habit I have learned to make less destructive after some scalp damage in my 20s. I still pull and twirl hair though.

2 Hypermobility. I’ve known since I was a teenager I had hypermobile tendencies. Again undiagnosed and not severe but I am particularly hypermobile in my hips and legs, wrists and shoulders. Recently found out there are links between hypermobile spectrum disorders and ADHD.

I think you are right and I too have a great many of the symptoms being described on this thread.

I agree too about smartphones making everything worse.

Dr Gabor Main his brilliant book on ADHD, “Shattered Minds”, definitely sees the cause of the symptoms as being childhood trauma especially.

Dr Sami Timini who deals with children feels that what is often called ADHD is a cluster of symptoms with varying causes - not a condition in its own right.

My daughter is diagnosed with additional ie without the hyperactivity. But when she was assessed by an OT for an EHC plan, she noticed that she kicked her chair leg the entire time and chewed her sleeve.

I have always had to doodle in class/meetings or I can't concentrate.

As a child I craved swings, roundabouts, fairground rides. Utterly obsessed with playgrounds - and I wasn't remotely sporty. I just craved the sensations.

But these were all socially acceptable ways of expressing adhd. Parents and teachers didn't notice.

Back to my daughter. When school were given questionnaires to complete on her, they gave one to the class teacher, who scored her in the normal zone, and one to the TA who worked with her, who scored her off the chart.

There is so much room for people, especially compliant girls, to go under the radar.

Not to disagree with what you are saying, but rather to add an important point, which is that some children will be like this because of abuse and trauma. They are on hyper alert and don’t have any band-width left.

Less markedly, just any big change or difficulty at home could lead to symptoms commonly linked to ADHD.

@Garroty

“Huge difficulty with routines. I remember being amazed when my husband told me he doesn't have to consciously remember to brush his teeth every day, it's something he just does automatically after his shower in the morning. Whereas I have to put measures in place to remind me every day (in my case an alarm on my phone), or it wouldn't happen.”

did the morning breath not give it away? Genuine question

All of it. I get bored so quickly at anything. I mentioned upthread that weddings are my idea of hell. Any sport, I've had enough after about 10 minutes. I hate quizzes like Who Wants to be a Millionaire because they take so long over each question. Strictly is the same - all that chatting and behind the scenes stuff drives me mad.

If I watch TV I will be ironing or doing an art project at the same time.

At school or in work meetings I HAD to doodle to be able to concentrate. If I'm on a train, I have to read something.

I hate forward planning too and just take each day at a time.

I used to work on big projects at work - everything was in my head. Then they brought in project management managers and software and I hated it. I hate anything to do with finance.

Maladaptive daydreaming. Not idle ruminating or casual imagining, but deep, emotionally resonant daydreams which can feel as impactful on my mood and behaviour as real life events, with some story arcs spanning years.

Wow, I'm intrigued as to these daydreams! I'm a daydreamer too but not in terms of ongoing storylines! @Garroty

@Thepeopleversuswork
100% resonates with me!!

I haven’t been diagnosed or assessed for ADHD. Probably never will (mainly because I have reached the age of 53 without it and its just another tiresome project to manage. But increasingly wondering if I am. For me its:

• Get bored incredibly fast. Quite often find my attention wandering within seconds if I have to focus on something (a document, a book, a film). When I actually get into something I can become obsessed and hyper focused. If I’m not obsessed I become painfully bored.
• I find organising and planning things ahead of time engenders a feeling of complete terror. If, for example, I have to RSVP to something I find myself finding excuses not to so it. I have learned the hard way that this seriously pisses people off so I force myself to do it but it makes me feel physically sick.
• I can’t bear any kind of financial planning.
• Loathe being idle/not having enough to do. I force myself to do things just to be busy because it’s the idea of not being productive makes me feel guilty and useless. The idea of a day in front of the TV is my idea of hell
• I have no attention to detail. I am great at big projects and big picture strategy but I find small tactical and logistical details boring and forget them. I hate spreadsheets with a passion.

Interested to hear if these resonate with others.

You, and others sound like me.
I am ok in the office if there is one or two people there. Any more and I cant cope and have to find a quiet space. This got brought up in .y supervision and was told that I looked like I didnt want to be with my colleagues. Once I explained that I could feel tension rising and getting more and more anxious they understood.
Someone introduced a radio into the office and my brain blew a fuse. What's worse is if they put it on and then leave the room.

My husband jokes he never knows what state the house is going to be in when its my day off because ive been 'tidying'.
I have good intentions, I write lists, I put set alarms on so try to challenge myself to stay on task for , say 20 mins, but the minute I go into another room I see something else that needs doing so I do that!

Staff at work have described me as absolutely lovely and quirky. When ive asked what they mean they say its because I like to do a lot of things by myself, and because of my interests.
The list goes on and on.

I'd never given Adhd a thought until 'everyone' ( joking!) was having assessments and saying they are ND and started mentally ticking things off in my head associated with it. There was a reel on tik tok that listed about 9 different adhd traits in women and dh was ' yeah, thats you' , 😆 🤣

I have no intention of getting tested. I am comfortable in my own skin and it won't make a jot of difference to my life.

Threads like this and explain everything I’ve ever struggled with. The GP referred me 4+ years ago and I’ve just been through assessment only to find I don’t score highly enough for a diagnosis.

I’m left wondering if the NHS has decided that there needs to be fewer adults diagnosed.
apparently I do have some adhd traits, some ASD traits and some elements of dyspraxia, and I’m not NT but not ND enough.

I feel I didn’t do a good enough job of explaining my struggles because I largely manage them to be able to function. I also couldn’t remember a lot of the childhood stuff she asked about…I’m over 50!

I’m baffled, upset, confused and all round shell shocked and have no idea what to do now.

I needed the validation of a diagnosis to prove I’m not lazy, disorganised, socially inept etc.

My DD, diagnosed at 18 and now 30, has never managed to learn.

I can recognise some of these things, DD2 has AuADHD, and also I'm 50 and menopause is also a factor. I don't see what going to the GP will do as the main thing is to find work that suits you, find strategies to deal with it and by kind to yourself. I wouldn't have my imaginative, scatty, butterfly brain any other way and certainly wouldn't want to take drugs to dull things down.

Modern life is set up to trip you up, it's often too much for anyone's brain to cope with.