What are some symptoms as an adult woman that you didn’t realise were ADHD symptoms?

I've also struggled with maintaining routines and concentration. You might find it useful to experiment with different coping strategies. Besides setting reminders and cues, I've found adding some structure with natural remedies really beneficial. For me, edibles have helped manage stress, which in turn improved my focus. Just make sure to start with low doses and consult a pro to guide you with personalized advice.

I was considered "clever" at school - top of the class in the subjects I took. But I hated science with a passion. None of it seemed to stick and I simply couldn't do it. Geography was the same. I got special dispensation to drop science for O Levels as I was so hopeless at them . My favourite class was History but I remember doing really badly on a WW1 module on warships and the teacher telling me I had to also try on the subjects I didn't like.

Yes to hyperfocus. When it is working for you, it gives the impression it is amazing, and can cover all kinds of murk. As you get older, you realise how tiring it is (which you didn't, in the past), and the price that it exacts.

I have a theory that you also try to push everything that poses a challenge down the channels of skill or attention that you know work for you, in my case, visual or written (spoken or spatial are the sides that are the complete opposites in my case, and may be actively dangerous if I tried to rely on them). Then get frustrated because the overdeveloped areas can't properly compensate for everything, and often feel very slow if they are not well-suited to what you are attempting to make them solve.

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat "Hyperfocus that means it's very difficult to watch films with me because I spend my time going 'but what happened to...?' and 'but what about...?' and harping on and on about plot holes."

Oh - Thank You for explaining this! I have always been absolutely laser-like when it comes to books, can't get enough of them, but can't follow a film on just one viewing to save my life, and often don't care enough to try to watch twice or more times!

@BlackForestRoulette the word finding thing can be a MS neurolgical symptom - I have difficulty with nouns at the end of a sentence eg I will ask DH ro close the door when I meant to say window.

I am undiagnosed but bloody hell you could be describing me here.
Cut it so fine to get to places I am often setting out when I should be arriving.
Spend hours researching things but need someone else to help me make the actual decision (even simple things like choosing a hotel I agonise over into the night.)
Forget about friends (as in I still think of them as friends but I don't feel the need to see them regularly or put in maintenance, which I am aware makes me a shit friend.)
Eventually learnt to drive as an adult in an automatic but driving didn't and doesn't come easily to me.
Limerence - putting people on a pedestal throughout my teens and early 20s - I feel quite embarrassed and annoyed with myself about that now as they were very average & undeserving of such adoration!
The internet makes my procrastination 100 x worse and I can see the same traits in my DC. I used to have to have nothing else to do to eventually settle down to study if there was anything to distract I would use that. How they study now is beyond me.
Always speak over people, especially if I am enjoying the conversation and excited by an idea. I apologise but I know it's an awful trait.

I just thought that was how I am but maybe I have ADHD?

Maybe how understanding evolves over time and ignorance over certain conditions reduces? E.g. people with dyslexia previously dubbed lazy or stupid, things like ovarian cancer labelled as hysteria etc.

ADHD meds are purely for the executive function deficit. Even on the right meds you still need to learn about yourself and your own challenges and ways to deal them. That's an awful lot easier when you actually know you have ADHD and are on meds that help you to focus on what you need to focus on.

What's your point?

We could work out a programme of useful interventions for everything they experience, but that's not how it works. You get assessed for adhd and if you score enough points, you have the diagnosis and you can try the meds, but all your other issues are

Re but all your other issues are ignored
This is a very real danger.

Eating - I’m too fat because I binge eat so my mind quietens. It’s not binge eating disorder, it’s dopamine seeking.

My quirks dont make life impossible but I think its because since I was young ive found workarounds (lists help). I can live with the multitudes of unfinished stuff, not being able to stay still (i can just get up when i want as wfh) but i do think some work related tasks end up edging towards impossible in a reasonable time frame as I have to break them up with other things every 10 minutes..so an hour and a half task becomes like watching a film with 20 ad breaks...the whole thing ends up taking 4 x the time. Some of the quirks I feel ive had so long that weirdly id prefer to keep them as thats 'me'.

I dont have some of the more severe symptoms like impulsive behaviour though and I can listen to other people speaking and take it in without zoning out.

Labels being scratchy is also linked to ADHD according to my local specialist ADHD assessor.
I'm 61 & have never been diagnosed but I'm pretty certain I have it. Interestingly enough 3/4 of my children have ADHD. My youngest used to cut all the labels out of his school shirts so every one had a hole in. We just used to think he was very quirky. My kids weren't impacted by ADHD largely until they hit puberty. Though there were some early signs. Then it was Armageddon for 2 of them. One went from the top of the class & being an all round brilliant achiever to the bottom in a highly academic school, as her coping strategies failed.

It just seems to me that you can have all sorts of non-typical behaviour and feelings, but the people who put together the DSM (which is the leading light on neuro divergent conditions), put some of them into packages and label them.

The DSM is highly contentious. Reading up on criticisms of it and all the various conditions it recognises (and those it doesn't) is really interesting.

A lot of it comes down to Big Pharma wanting conditions that can be diagnosed to allow drugs to be prescribed for example.

My adopted daughters have so many challenges and issues arising from them - tics for example. Extreme panic. Social skills deficits. Executive functioning problems.

We could work out a programme of useful interventions for everything they experience, but that's not how it works. You get assessed for adhd and if you score enough points, you have the diagnosis and you can try the meds, but all your other issues are ignored.

So, for example, people have mentioned finding labels in clothes scratchy. That is often seen as an autism associated condition.

But maybe some of us just have loads of quirks which we could deal with in lots of different ways.

I'm not saying don't get assessed, but I do think it can end up suggesting that adhd is both the cause and the solution, and I think it's more complex than that.

Anyway, I wanted to recommend a book, which isn't about adhd, but I found really helpful in understanding me and what could help. It is called Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight by Sharon Heller

This. I have every symptom pp's have listed here, yet I had my assessment and was told I don't have ADHD. Symptoms were put down to past trauma and current life stresses.

@Cornishwafer do you find that your ‘quirks’ significantly impact you every day? They don’t sound particularly debilitating?

It's important to be aware that many people experience the traits of ADHD but ADHD is only diagnosed when these symptoms are persistent, severe, and significantly impact daily functioning.

Im wondering now whether I should try and get a formal diagnosis. Im self-employed so formal diagnosis wouldnt help in getting any extra consideration at work but i suppose a GP wouldnt prescribe medication without a formal diagnosis and that would take a long time on the NHS....id like to see if medication woukd help.

Regarding the manual work, I wonder if it is a coping mechanism for the need to move about a lot. A couple of close friends over the years mentioned in passing that they thought i had ADHD (in a kindly way) they didnt seem concerned just noticed the fact i cant sit for long and the subject hopping in conversation.

This all really resonates with me. Apart from the compulsive need to do physical labour you basically are me.

Apparently bruixism and hypermobility are also common in people with ADHD.

Perhaps the evacuation of thousands of kids to the countryside in the U.K. during WWII, horrible events in Eastern Europe is contributing to the surge in cases of adhd and autism now as a second generation is affected.

@Netcurtainnelly yes! I failed my test spectacularly three times in my late teens. Gears were my biggest issue. It was awful not being "good" at it. I eventually passed at 35 and now drive an automatic as it requires less of my limited ADHD attention.

DD also has ADHD and did her test in an automatic as she struggled in the exact same way as me with a manual.

Until a few years ago I didn't really question my 'quirks' as life like this is all ive ever known but...
Inability to concentrate on one task without having a compulsion to get up and do something else halfway through...whether it's writing an email, cleaning the kitchen (I can't clean one room at a time and will stop half way through and start cleaning the bedroom for example) watching a film or, getting ready to go out. Once I was aware of my behavior I started noticing it more...sometimes I can't even focus on cleaning my teeth without wandering away from the bathroom, still cleaning them to put the kettle on.
Does that sound like ADHD? I thought I was just a 'multi tasker' but thinking about it, my quirks have made life much for difficult than it should be.

Found driving really difficult and never passed my test.

Weird compulsion to do manual work (for example building garden wall) manual work feels like an outlet to me.

I hop from topic to topic when talking to people and change the subject half way through explaining something or telling a story...something else pops into my head and I feel the need to mention that before I forget.

@Garroty
I'm flabbergasted- everything you've written sounds very much like my 30year old daughter, scarily so!
How does one go about getting assessed, is it just a question of going to your GP and making enquiries?
I would love to put it to her but I think she would be so offended if I even suggested that she should!

Hoarding. Not being able to see my floor due to mess. I just can’t bring myself to tidy or throw out. Then suddenly one day I get a burst of energy, spend the whole day shoving crap into bin liners and taking multiples trips to the recycling centre. Deep clean. Love the new clean fresh house, then a week later it’s trashed again. It’s an awful cycle.

Not being able to sleep. Hence posting at 4:30am. I don’t think I’ve properly slept a whole night since I was a child. I’m in my 30’s now.

Not feeling like I belong anywhere or that I’m good at anything. Especially in work. I’m just not happy doing any job. I don’t have a passion. I get burnt out so easily, despite my job not being physically or mentally challenging or tough.

Being incredibly emotional. (Even though I hate showing my emotions to others and I try my best not to) I can’t help but cry in certain situations. A lot of situations I feel pathetic like a ‘normal’ person would think “get a grip” or “toughen up”.

I have a lot of sensory issues too which makes me feel I may be Autistic also. (Can’t cope with spicy foods or fizzy drinks, I am repulsed by certain shapes of cutlery and I would prefer to eat with my hands, don’t like affection or physical touch, can
notice noises that others around me can’t like little beeps or alarms).

It’s hard to navigate life a lot of the time, but I try and push through.

Years ago it would be called scatty and disorganised. Today it’s called ADHD

I need to TRY to sleep now, but want to read the thread properly tomorrow & will
lide the thread if I just book mark it.

Definitely wondering if trying to get a dx woukd help me