Teen son been a victim of a scam

Ah op I'm so sorry you're all going through this, it's every parents worst nightmare and the reality is that the only thing we can REALLY do to equip our children properly is to tell them to come to us if this happens. Even with all the other precautions, this is still possible for any child which is the depressing and scary part.

I would imagine that your son will be cautioned by police for creating an image of a minor (legal red tape and all that, i don't think they have a choice in that) but it will not be progressed as he is the victim here ultimately so it won't create a long term issue in that respect.

Hopefully the police can give him some reassurance and investigate but if international this is hard to trace. What I would be doing in the meantime is talking to him about how often this happens. How common it is even though noone talks openly about it so he knows this isn't just him he's been very unlucky and will learn from it. But plenty of other teens are going about their day having been in his exact shoes.

I hope karma comes back to bite these scumbags who target our most vulnerable in this way.

You're a good mum please don't beat yourself up it can happen to anyone. When we were teenagers we left our houses and walked in to danger, these days those same dangers are online. Thank you for coming here and looking for advice and a hand hold. You are helping bring awareness to today's dangers for young people because our youngsters will always take risks and push boundaries until they get into trouble. My 10 year old asked me if he can sign up to tiktok I told him nope there's too many loons on there. It's only because I was signed up to it a couple of years ago I wouldn't want him watching that rubbish. Your son is not 10 and he thought he could handle it. Don't blame yourself it could happen to anyone. Most youngsters think they are experienced enough to handle anything and what they don't realise adults get caught out as well (Brad Pitt scam).

This happened to my friend in work he is late 20s he called their bluff and told everyone just in case and they never leaked any photos at all x he was understandably upset and embarrassed but in the end he styled it out it seemed like the end of the world at first now he looks back and laughs slightly xx

Well, he’s got himself banned from Snapchat or TikTok or whatever you said. It was just give him a dumb phone.

His phone has been removed at the moment but he will need it back at some point and I can’t monitor it all the time ( when he’s at school etc).

“Need” is an elastic word. What does he actually need, from you and his dad, from his school, or from a trusted adult (counsellor etc).

What research have you now done on guardrails for devices? Are you aware of the various methods other parents use to protect their children from predators? There are so many more resources available now. So much more support than from even a few years ago.

If you want to protect him more, you can, without having to “monitor all the time.”

I just don’t think it is fair on children to say “we warned you” and not take any further steps when there are whole charities dedicated to this issue.

There’s a Guardian article this week about the massive rise in men seeking therapy for out of control porn usage and addiction. Of course, this is what happens when children have open access to devices.

It’s not too late, you can still help and protect him from further harm.

This will hopefully be a massive lesson for him and any mates he tells. He isn’t the first to fall for this and sadly he’s not likely to be the last. He will probably be feeling stupid long after the panic fades. I’d remind him that grown adults, trained professionals, fall for scams. Keep emphasising that he did the right thing by telling you, and that he must never give in to blackmailers.

Our DS2 was part of a group who did something stupid online when 14. He wasn’t a main offender but had to take part in sessions at school with the community police liaison officer. He learned his lesson and has been sensible ever since. We were all reminded to check their phones regularly.

Be kind to yourself OP, you have not failed in the slighest. Your child was targeted by criminals and made an error in judgement, it could happen to anyone of us 💐

There's a very good radio series on the BBC about the Hustle Kingdoms, which are schools teaching young men in Nigeria how to run these scams

This is the way forward - @worriedmum223 get your son to
read this. He could even pre-empt the scammers by sharing a post about being scammed and warning his mates, thus taking away the blackmailer’s power. If he approaches it with the attitude of ‘yeah, i shared some pics with a girl i fancied who turned out to be some loser lying about their identity, sue me’ then that removes both a lot of the scammer’s power and the power of his mates to
take the piss.

(obviously behind the scenes you emphasise that he’s 14 and shouldn’t be sharing anything - but in terms of damage control/his ego, the above might be a good public approach)

It's very difficult with cybercrime due to vpn's, dark Web browsers and lack of cooperation or agreements within international criminal justice agreements.

She has called the police. It's in the first post!

Your poor boy, @worriedmum223 - what a horrible experience for him and for you. I honestly don’t think you should be blaming yourself - the fact that he was able to tell you about it, even if it wasn’t straight away, shows you have a good relationship with him.

Teenagers go through a time where their brains are retiring, and during that time they do lose some abilities, which can explain why they do more reckless things without having second thoughts. Sadly this makes them easy prey for vile scammers like the ones who targeted your boy.

I suspect that the previous posters who have said the scammers are unlikely to follow through on their threat - they will just move on to some other poor kid.

Call the police. This happened to my DS' best friend. Police were absolutely bloody brilliant.

Change his number and email address then they can't contact him. That's what I would do.

This sounds awful poor boy!
Was his face also in the pics?
I’d change his number and email address and delete TikTok. I’d hope once they realise they’re getting nothing they’ll give up.
Social media is scary that’s for sure :-(

yeah not the best decision of his life but the fact you and he should hold on to is that scammers run scams BECAUSE THEY ARE SO FUCKING GOOD AT IT. Sensible adults, people in prestigious jobs, people with commonsense coming out of their ears, all kinds have been the victims of scams. Maybe reframe "not to trust" and "he's not as sensible" into "we all of us can be helped to avoid such things happening to us by being supported by those closest to us."

Change his phone number and email so he's effectively starting a clean sheet. Make a bigger deal of his courage in eventually telling you what was happening than the mistakes he has made. Point out that you have been able to help and support him and you will always do that. Get him involved in working out what should happen now.

The scammers are unlikely to waste time spreading his pictures because they they'll be moving on to their next target. Tbh pictures can be so easily faked now that nobody's safe but I wouldn't mention that to your DS!

My friend’s family lost their beloved son to sextortion. Please thank your son for trusting you. I wish all young boys felt able to. You sound a wonderfully supportive mum in horrific circumstances. Just be a team with him. Be so grateful he’s come through it without proper tragedy as not everyone is so lucky. You should feel proud of the relationship you have with him.

Your poor son. I’m sure you’re taking extra special care of him, with lots of hugs and comfort, and maybe some treats. He’s been the victim of a horrible assault and whilst not physical, he must be feeling very vulnerable, and certainly he is not to be victim blamed for being attacked in this way.

As others have said, the scammers just want easy money. It is highly unlikely that they will do anything with the photos. If it’s any consolation, I know of many much older people who have fallen for this.

What usually happens is, if they pay, the scammers ask for more and make empty threats. If the number is international, it is unlikely that the police will be able to help, but it is still good that you reported it, in case that number has come up before. It is horrible and I’m sorry you’re all going through it.

Unfortunately, as parents we can’t protect our children from everything and however many times we tell them, sometimes they have to learn the hard way. In my experience, some of the stricter parents who thought they were most in control of their children actually drove them to be secretive and then break out in a big way when they got their freedom. It is good that your son could talk with you.

Hi I've not ready all comments but just want to say this happened to my 13 year old son earlier this year it's horrific they also threatened to come to his school to kill him if he didn't send money so was absolutely terrified. They knew his school which we think the got from snap maps. Never share your location. The photos did not get shared and we have got through it though I didn't want to let him out my sight for a while.
The police weren't able to do much as they said these apps normally only give info in cases of murder and even then it's hard.

Your poor little lad. Take great care of him and reassure him that he's the victim here and these criminals are actual monsters. Sending love OP, agree v unlikely the images will be leaked as there's no benefit to the scumbags if they do, it's a numbers game for them.

@MadisonMontgomery @ClawsandEffect @SeekOIt @Eyeshadow and anyone else I may have missed. Please stop using the term CP. Please. I know it used to be acceptable but, thank God, times move on and it’s now recognised as the deeply hurtful and offensive phrase it always was. It’s now referred to as images of CSA. Using that phrase is just as unacceptable as using the R word to refer to someone with SEN, or any number of racist terms to refer to anyone who isn’t white. It’s on that level of wrong.

OP, thank God for the bank notifications. A really good idea for anyone who hasn’t already got them in place. You’ve been given some brilliant links and I agree with the majority that they’re unlikely to waste their time sharing these images, especially if they know that the parents are aware and there is zero chance of them getting any money, but he’s probably going to feel better about it if he has a plan in place ready to deal with it. What a couple of the others have suggested is a good idea. I’d be telling him to say that they got his face and his voice because they tried to scam him, he recognised it as a scam straight away and told them to fuck off, and the rest of it was AI, and why are they watching fake videos of him, isn’t that a bit weird?

Yes, he was daft. But there’s a reason these scammers tend to target younger people for this sort of crime. The same as they target older people with fake love scams and hacked bank account scams. It’s because it works. Who was that comedian it happened to? Joel Dommett maybe? He did a whole program about it. He’s not the first and he won’t be the last. Hopefully nothing will come of it and he’ll have learnt a valuable lesson before he starts doing something similar with a girlfriend.

Poor lad.

These people are scum & my friends son had a similar situation & he was 13 & like you despite lot's of discussion & I can tell you he was a very 'sensible' lad he sent pictures as requested. I'm so glad he told you & I agree with others please praise him to coming to you for help, I can just imagine how awful he must feel. Xx