Teen son been a victim of a scam

We all parent differently op.

I'm like you, I educate, keep open communication, and trust my kids under my guidance. There are more problems with people who ban everything and then let them loose as adults with no experience ime.

I've known a few teens with strict parents who outright ban everything get in trouble with the police over online communications as soon as they get online, or they are able to sneak their friends phones and make their own pages on SM without their parents knowing etc.

Your son made a mistake, he will get through it with your support, it's a massive deal right now, but in 5 years time he will only think about the lessons he's learned, rather than what he's feeling now.

Sorry if Im repeating another poster but I haven't read all the replies.
Just wanted to say most of these scams are Nigerian gangs. I watched a BBC Documentary on exactly this scam just a couple of months ago. Its on iplayer and called Blackmailed: The Sextortion Killers.
Its quite harrowing. They actually interview the guys that do this. They just think every western person is so loaded they can just easily access and hand over money.
It may be worth a watch, but suggest you watch it without your son.

I’ve lost count of the number of times my kids have told me about friends of theirs who secretly have SM as their parents don’t allow it.

I’d be very wary of being so judgemental if I were you.

Your poor soon, my heartbreaks for him and you. So pleased you’ve called the police and can follow their instructions on what to do next. Please above all else tell your son not to worry, he is safe and it will be sorted.

I know this happening to 2 people.

First was my 11 year old neighbours daughter after starting at secondary school. Someone said they were a boy from her year so she added them and over a few hours was made to take photos, then videos…. The person threatened to harm her family, she was terrified and done what she was told too. When she finally told her mum they sent all the photos/ videos to all her contacts which included everyone in her school year. It was horrific, person was abroad and police said it happens all the time. Poor girl never returned to school, made multiple attempts to end her life but now at the year of 15 she finally okay.

second was my best friends 21 year old. Spilt up with his girlfriend and was chatting to someone via a dating app. Sent some photos and then they demanded money or would share. He sent money then they demanded more. Thankfully he is really close with his mum and told her and she called the police. They didn’t share his photos…. He was absolutely mortified and had a huge effect on his mental health.

You son will get over this and even if they share image all he has to say is it’s AI so I hope he knows everything will be fine and to follow police advice then move on.

Couldn't agree more. It's definitely not the end of the world, but I can imagine how mortifyingly embarrassing it is for the boy.
He's learnt a very valuable lesson in the midst of this horrible scam......he's so much wiser going forward.

It shows how much he trusts you OP if he's able to come to you when he's troubled,this is a really good thing.

@worriedmum223 hug him tight. He told you and you’ve handled it so well.

Teenage brains do silly things and social Media is part of adolescence regardless what other smug parents say.

Thank you for sharing. I can see how easily this can happen and how far it can escalate. My eldest is a couple of years behind your DC and I can see I need to make some changes here.

I hope your DC feels better soon. It's horrible to lose some of their innocence in such a sudden way due to such targeted and manipulative people.

@MumWifeOtherYou really are unpleasant.

I am so sorry to read this. What absolute vile scum these scammers are. A 14 yo is just so vulnerable and most teenagers do stupid things they regret - I know I certainly did.
Hope your son is ok OP. Hard lesson to learn but going forward I'd trust him implicitly vis a vis SM use as doubt he's going to fall for anything like this again.

Thank you for your post exactly what CEOP said. These “superior” parents should be ashamed of their posts.

Oh your poor lad! It's a horrible situation, but be proud that he's told you the whole story, I think that makes you a good Mum. I hope it all gets sorted out soon, and that he's learned not to trust internet strangers (albeit the hard way,).

Here is a message so this doesn't happen again. Simply do not send any nude photos of yourself.

E-safety is covered repeatedly from primary school onward in England (and almost certainly the other UK countries).

Parents can reiterate and deepen their children's understanding by discussing it with them regularly AND saying they should never, ever send photos or information to people they don't know. If it's someone they do know in real life, never, ever send photos of your private parts - because even if it's a (current) girl/boyfriend, you don't know WHO they might share it with.

Poor lad, but great that your relationship is such that he told you. Hopefully nothing more will come of this and it will be a difficult but essential lesson in how to keep himself safe online. Which extends not just to not sending compromising photos, but to other things he might in future years think about posting on social media (drunken nights out with friends etc.). Employers do look at those things these days. I hope he’s ok. This is something very common which happens to a lot of people of all ages, though teens are especially vulnerable.

I think that's a very niave (and smug) statement

Perhaps at least read the full thread if YOU'RE going post ,not even the full thread just a few posts on where I apologised. I'm sure it makes you feel better though to chastise me.

Was he expecting nude pictures back?

Presumably your child doesn't have a secret phone, as one of my close friends found out about their 14 year old when they behaved inappropriately online.
The real phone was locked down nicely with no social media. The other one not so much.

The irony ,read the full thread before you jump on with your sanctimonious bollox ,it's there in black and white if you care to read it.

I'm a teacher.

I'm a teacher, not in the UK, but this happens everywhere. We've had the police in and had them talk to students about this. As upset as you are, time to wipe those tears away now and be a lot stronger (at least in front of your son).

If you haven't already, please tell him that despite your initial shock, you are nothing but proud of him. Proud that he could put aside his embarrassment and tell you and your husband what happened, even if you did have to drag it out of him. Not to scare you, but there have been cases in many countries of teens killing themselves rather than speaking about this with their family.

It doesn't matter how clever your son normally is, he's still a teen, this is a sophisticated scam and he is a victim in all of this. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't a scam just about money, it's one that is deeply embarrassing for him and he will never forget it. But, remind him, adults, competent and clever adults, still get scammed every day.

As an adult it's easy to wonder how he could fall for it, how he could ignore and safety talks you've had, he's still a teen, with hormones and they just don't think with adult brains.

Yes, it's a horrible thing to happen, but he's still here and safe. I would suggest, when you talk to the police, ask if their team that deals with these sort of things have any recommendations for counselling, if not, try talking to child safety or welfare at his school. He must truly be mortified, hug him again and find someone outside the family for him to talk to, who can also reassure him that despite some mistakes made, this wasn't his fault. Schedule some extra family time, pizza, movies, just keep him close and at home or with close friends until this has had some time. He needs to see that life will go on and he will be okay.