Teen son been a victim of a scam

Firstly, not all kids are like this and genuinely don’t think mine are. If I saw deleted messages that would prompt a serious conversation.
Secondly, even if they were, this still doesn’t mean I would allow them social media and to not check messages, or allow them to have access to their phones alone past 8pm.
I know I’m doing my to protect them from the dangers of social media.How many of you can say the same?

I think you're doing a good job of handling this, but please make sure that you discuss this again very soon. You say he's learned his lesson, and I truly hope that's the case. But there's more to this. I have read several recent news reports and articles on this particular scam and on cyber-bullying in general. I was shocked to learn that there are multiple cases of teens being bullied to kill themselves and actually going through with it. It's not always about money, it's power or gaining followers.

It's terribly depressing what the internet is turning into. Says a lot about the way some people are changing, I think.

sorry can't help much because i don't really have much knowledge of the legalities or anything and i don't send pictures like that and never have but the only thing i can say is (i know it's obviously too late now) i would tell him it's best not to send nudes to anyone least of all strangers but if he really must then no face no identifying factors and always digitally add a tattoo or something (if he does those 3 things he can say the pics aren't of him)

Delete history and delete messages - you can check all your like but doesn't mean jack shit,just makes kids better at hiding their trail. I'm not saying they should have unlimited access but definitely don't be so smug as to think your kids could never do anything.

And like I said, don't you dare fucking sit there and act like you're not hurting victims by preaching to them about the language they use. Now beat it.

Fair enough, but surely that's exactly what they have been told to expect a scammer would say?
Like if you're aware of the existence of scammers, you also know that's what they will say?!

I’m not being smug, this is how you’re perceiving it probably due to the fact that you allow your kids to have social media.

I do my best with the knowledge I have to protect my kids and teach them not to succumb to peer pressure.. and even if they do, guess who won’t? That’s right, their mum. Should I allow them access to what’s damaging as detailed in the post cos Tom, Dick, Harry and their mums are okay with it?

I think it’s naive and stupid to let your kids have social media and not check phones cos LOOK where it gets you…

No he doesn’t have a secret phone, and let’s pretend he did, at least I will have done everything I could to the best of my knowledge to protect him. No experts are telling us to let our children have access to social media. We all know they shouldn’t really…!

I’m not saying this for personal gratification, but actually that other mothers on here learn from your mistakes, because this post is exactly why children / under 16s shouldn’t have access to social media, and why they need very heavy monitoring. My son isn’t allowed his phone in his room past 8pm. And I check it after, every night. The world is a scary place and it’s our duty, if we allow them phones, to do our due diligence and understand the dangers of social media and actually, say no.

And, horrifically, you’re far from the only one. It’s still a really offensive and upsetting phrase for many of us. So you carry on using it to describe your own experiences if that’s what gets you through it, but don’t you dare fucking act like you’re not hurting other victims by doing so.

You do understand all experts believe children should not have access to social media don’t you? A 14 year old is a child.

I'm so sorry to hear this has happened to your son. I come across cases like these often at work and they are all absolutely heartbreaking. The culprits are often based in Nigeria and target vulnerable teenage boys by using manuals that they circulate among themselves. Because they're outside of the UK jurisdiction, the police often find it hard to prosecute them but there have been cases where they are making a concerted effort to extradite the individuals concerned as they target multiple young victims at the same time.

How did your son send the pictures? As he is underage these constitute child sexual abuse material (CSAM) and US social media providers are therefore under an obligation under US law to make a report containing the images and information about the offending account used to solicit them to the National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) - both Meta / WA and TikTok do this. Although a US based non-profit, NCMEC acts as effectively a global clearing house and will proactively send these reports to law enforcement in relevant countries worldwide to aid in their investigations. The social media companies also take enforcement action against these accounts internally.

To be completely honest, the offenders can - and do - carry out their threats when they are particularly nasty individuals. But they usually do it straightaway if they are going to, so fingers crossed they won't in your son's case. I hope he feels better soon - sextortion is an awful sickening crime.

I don't think we need to see the messages to know what was so persuasive.

A fourteen year old boy flooded with hormones
Confronted with a very attractive profile picture of a female who appears to have slid into his DMs and picked him out as someone she finds attractive.
A few carefully worded text conversations, complete with current teen slang and the right emojis would be enough to lure many boys in.

Then it's not a stretch to throw in a sprinkling of "I think ur really hot" type stuff, followed by "send nudes ;)" and it would be game over.

I was subject to images being taken of myself when I was a child. I'll call it what I like thanks. It's not up to you to police the language that i use of what I went through.

Your poor lad, but glad he spoke to you. Talk to the school DSL tomorrow, drop them an email and let them know what’s happened. They will also have some good advice. And it may prompt an assembly / lesson on this so that any other pupil who may have been targeted and is scared can be helped. He will be feeling dreadful, but big hug and lesson learned!

No advice but I have a 14 year old boy and I really feel for him, and you, hope you are both ok poor kid, love and strength to you! X

Oh your poor lad. I think the punishment has already been dealt & I doubt he’ll ever do anything like this again.

I would suggest making his profile private & see if you can keep the identity of his followers private.

I can imagine his regret & worry & yours to. He’s just a kid & I doubt these pictures will be leaked. There is no gain to be had especially when they know you’re involved. What nasty scumbags these scammers are. Keep an eye on your lad, he’s going to feel quite vulnerable for a while now & he needs your love & support more than any judgement

OP do you think you would be happy to copy and paste the text of the messages here?
It would be really good to have a concrete example of what was so persuasive. Obviously changing identifiable details.

Hi @worriedmum223
I've only read your posts, not all the replies so sorry if this has already been mentioned, but it may be worth looking at ChildLine website page for info https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/sexting/

In particular scrolling down to the section shown in attached screenshot (ie mention of CEOP)

ChildLine staff will also listen to and support your son if he wants or needs someone outside the family to talk to.

Best wishes to you both.

Edited re autocorrect typo.

As an exercise, count the number of people on this thread alone who have had their children send nudes and then be extorted.

It’s a perfect example of why relying solely on education doesn’t work.

Social media isn’t new. We’ve had 20 years of educating children about the dangers of social media, and it hasn’t worked. The number of anxious, stressed, depressed and suicidal teenagers is at an all-time high.

Social media companies have also had 20 years to make their platforms safer for teenagers. They haven’t done it.

The next step is to follow Australia and France and ban social media for children outright. This is no longer about individual parenting choices or education. It is a public health and safeguarding issue.