Page 3 | Teen son been a victim of a scam

worriedmum223 · 2026-01-04T09:56:37+00:00

NC for this. Over the weekend my ds14 has been the victim of a sextortion scam. He was contacted on Tik Tok by someone posing as a girl who coerced him into sending nude photos. As soon as they had them they threatened to leak them to his Tik Tok contacts unless he paid money. My son did not initially tell us, but we had notifications from his bank account of him trying to access money which prompted a discussion and despite initially lying about the reason, he did eventually come clean. I am absolutely heartbroken and shocked. He was beside himself and in tears. I’ve never seen him so shaken. I have drilled into him from a young age the dangers of social media and how you never speak to strangers and certainly never share personal information or photos. I have contacted the police and am meeting with them later today but trying to keep my son out of it for now because he is so mortified and upset. I am worried on a number of counts. Firstly if they do actually leak the photos which would be horrific for him. Although I’m led to believe this is rare and they are more likely to just move onto the next victim when they realise it’s a dead end. Secondly if they try to contact him again now that they have his number and email address (all contact via Tik Tok and WhatsApp has been blocked but they could find other ways). His phone has been removed at the moment but he will need it back at some point and I can’t monitor it all the time ( when he’s at school etc). Thirdly whether he could be in trouble himself for sending and asking for explicit photos at his age. But mostly the emotional impact this could have on him. He was so embarrassed and upset. The fact he didn’t initially feel like he could be honest has upset me. And of course that he did this full stop. I get teenage boys have raging hormones but it’s such a stupid and out of character thing for him to do. Please no lectures about social media. All of his friends have it, it’s part of life and I really thought I’d done a good job educating him about the dangers. If anyone else has been through this please let me know your experience and what happened next.

X123x321X · 05/01/2026 17:08

There are some miserable cunts in this thread.

Don't beat yourself up OP. This kind of shit happens. You can't follow a teenager around 24/7. They'll get access through their friends phones and computers if they want to.

offtothegymagain · 05/01/2026 16:59

We had this. Exactly the same. It was the worst thing. We contacted the police although they didn’t do much. Please reassure your son, he’s been daft but so many teenage boys get scammed this way. Just resssure him. They’ll be onto the next one now. We’re three years in from it. Horrific at the time but now forgotten in the main. Big hugs.

But honesty two fingers to all the smug posters on here. We had talked to my son about not to believe strangers on the internet, he had been through it all at school and he still got scammed!!! He was 16. It happens, please don’t beat yourself up. Just give him a big hug.

Original poster

worriedmum223 · 05/01/2026 16:54

@MumWifeOtherNot that you know of, let’s face it with your smug superior attitude I doubt your children will ever be able to confide in you about anything.

I realise how concerning it is. I am mortified, devastated and have questioned a lot about myself and my son this weekend. Thankfully your unforgiving, nasty attitude is in the minority on this thread and most people are able to accept that all humans (especially young, hormone addled teenage boys) will make mistakes.

Your comments have honestly made me feel terrible, I have been in tears. I was already feeling shit and to be told you are a bad parent when you already feel like this is horrible. Objectively I know I’m not and I know my son is a normal, healthy boy who simply fucked up like we all do. But in the midst of it all, you have made a bad situation even worse. I hope you are happy with yourself. I would respectfully ask that you just stop now. You have made your point.

OP posts:

Netcurtainnelly · 05/01/2026 16:53

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 16:27

Precisely this. If we give a child a phone, it’s on us as an adult to set boundaries and rules. Allowing social media because “everyone else has got it” is frankly pathetic!! As is suggesting that because a child may lie and find ways around your boundaries it means you might as well not have them in place!??

The fact is, 9/10 most of this can avoided with hands on and robust monitoring.

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Yep. Nearly three years ago Briannah Ghey was murdered.
Alot of that was centered around smartphone use and parents not having a clue what was going on.

There used to be a saying too.
Dont talk to strangers.
😐
Alright for kids to talk to people online they don't know though??????

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

caringcarer · 05/01/2026 16:32

Get him a new SIM card with different number on. Tell him they won't know his new number. All the the police can do is issue a crime number. He didn't pay them the money so nothing to reclaim. Tell him it's common for teen boys to be scammed and he's learned a hard lesson. He won't be so gullible again.

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 16:27

Netcurtainnelly · 05/01/2026 16:20

Agree, there's alot of parents who buy their children a smartphone and havent got a clue what they are doing.
Alot of parents are weak, thats what it boils down too.

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Precisely this. If we give a child a phone, it’s on us as an adult to set boundaries and rules. Allowing social media because “everyone else has got it” is frankly pathetic!! As is suggesting that because a child may lie and find ways around your boundaries it means you might as well not have them in place!??

The fact is, 9/10 most of this can avoided with hands on and robust monitoring.

Netcurtainnelly · 05/01/2026 16:20

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 16:18

I can post as much as I see fit on a public forum, but besides this, I’m replying to a poster who kept on pressing about what I would do if my child deleted their messages…. I’d more ask why you’re purposely looking for my subsequent posts replying to other posters but whatever.

As I said previously, my intial post was not for self gratification, but to actually draw attention to the dangers of allowing children to have social media (and actually now we’re here, to make bank transfers!?????) - I don’t think it’s okay for you to ask for no lectures. This whole thread serves as a stark reminder of how aware parents need to be in this day and age. You dropped the ball, I’d like to warn other parents not to. It’s a subject I feel very passionate about as I’m personally disgusted at how many parents allow their kids access to social media and wish they would stop.

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Agree, there's alot of parents who buy their children a smartphone and havent got a clue what they are doing.
Alot of parents are weak, thats what it boils down too.

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 16:18

worriedmum223 · 05/01/2026 13:49

Why are you still posting? You’ve had absolutely nothing supportive or constructive to add. All you want to do is go on about how great you are as a parent and how your children would never be so silly. I’m very sure that some point, maybe not yet but one day, you will be in for a rude awakening and when that happens think back to your attitude on this thread.

Ds bank is monitored that’s how we found out about the money. He does have tabs kept on him but this time something slipped through the net and we are all dealing with the fallout from that as best we can as a family, without blame and accusations.

If all you want to do is preach about how your way is so much superior to others while snidely sticking the boot in every so often, I’d seriously have a long look at your character and how that might be affecting your dc upbringing. There is no need for you to be on here when you are just derailing and being unpleasant.

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I can post as much as I see fit on a public forum, but besides this, I’m replying to a poster who kept on pressing about what I would do if my child deleted their messages…. I’d more ask why you’re purposely looking for my subsequent posts replying to other posters but whatever.

As I said previously, my intial post was not for self gratification, but to actually draw attention to the dangers of allowing children to have social media (and actually now we’re here, to make bank transfers!?????) - I don’t think it’s okay for you to ask for no lectures. This whole thread serves as a stark reminder of how aware parents need to be in this day and age. You dropped the ball, I’d like to warn other parents not to. It’s a subject I feel very passionate about as I’m personally disgusted at how many parents allow their kids access to social media and wish they would stop.

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/01/2026 14:10

Fluffytoebeanz · 05/01/2026 14:00

Please remember that you can't stop kids making mistakes,and you can't protect them from everything. We have to start slowly letting go and allow them to trust us to be there when they do make mistakes. Seeing my daughter losing friends from suicide and seeing what she went through, I'm very glad that when she did get into trouble she was able to come to us.

They need love and support, and boundaries of course. But being sanctimonious is not helpful to anyone, especially not your children. We need to be preparing them for reality.

I'm not sure how I feel about the Aussie ban. I feel like it's too late. And I think letting them completely loose at 16 is not sensible either.

Totally agree with everything you've posted.

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/01/2026 14:07

Fluffytoebeanz · 05/01/2026 14:00

Please remember that you can't stop kids making mistakes,and you can't protect them from everything. We have to start slowly letting go and allow them to trust us to be there when they do make mistakes. Seeing my daughter losing friends from suicide and seeing what she went through, I'm very glad that when she did get into trouble she was able to come to us.

They need love and support, and boundaries of course. But being sanctimonious is not helpful to anyone, especially not your children. We need to be preparing them for reality.

I'm not sure how I feel about the Aussie ban. I feel like it's too late. And I think letting them completely loose at 16 is not sensible either.

I think I'd prefer an opt in only porn ban than a SM ban.

Fluffytoebeanz · 05/01/2026 14:00

Please remember that you can't stop kids making mistakes,and you can't protect them from everything. We have to start slowly letting go and allow them to trust us to be there when they do make mistakes. Seeing my daughter losing friends from suicide and seeing what she went through, I'm very glad that when she did get into trouble she was able to come to us.

They need love and support, and boundaries of course. But being sanctimonious is not helpful to anyone, especially not your children. We need to be preparing them for reality.

I'm not sure how I feel about the Aussie ban. I feel like it's too late. And I think letting them completely loose at 16 is not sensible either.

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/01/2026 13:51

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 13:34

Ffs get over it then.

If you allegedly did the same, what’s your problem?

And even if I didn’t see some deleted messages… you can bet I would have seen my son transferring money out of his account to a stranger 😂

I also would not let the worry of my kids possibly deleting messages stop me not allowing them to have social media before age 16!

My point is - I do my best with the knowledge I have. I don’t think everyone is… the end.

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Get over what,you being so judgemental and smug ? Pride comes before a fall, you would do well to remember that.

Original poster

worriedmum223 · 05/01/2026 13:49

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 13:34

Ffs get over it then.

If you allegedly did the same, what’s your problem?

And even if I didn’t see some deleted messages… you can bet I would have seen my son transferring money out of his account to a stranger 😂

I also would not let the worry of my kids possibly deleting messages stop me not allowing them to have social media before age 16!

My point is - I do my best with the knowledge I have. I don’t think everyone is… the end.

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Why are you still posting? You’ve had absolutely nothing supportive or constructive to add. All you want to do is go on about how great you are as a parent and how your children would never be so silly. I’m very sure that some point, maybe not yet but one day, you will be in for a rude awakening and when that happens think back to your attitude on this thread.

Ds bank is monitored that’s how we found out about the money. He does have tabs kept on him but this time something slipped through the net and we are all dealing with the fallout from that as best we can as a family, without blame and accusations.

If all you want to do is preach about how your way is so much superior to others while snidely sticking the boot in every so often, I’d seriously have a long look at your character and how that might be affecting your dc upbringing. There is no need for you to be on here when you are just derailing and being unpleasant.

OP posts:

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 13:34

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/01/2026 13:30

You didn't answer my question.

What makes you think we didn't do the same as you? We did ,we were super strict with phones and social media BUT I would never lecture other people and presume I was getting it right because it can SO easily go wrong and you'd have no clue. Like I said how would you know messages had been deleted?

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Ffs get over it then.

If you allegedly did the same, what’s your problem?

And even if I didn’t see some deleted messages… you can bet I would have seen my son transferring money out of his account to a stranger 😂

I also would not let the worry of my kids possibly deleting messages stop me not allowing them to have social media before age 16!

My point is - I do my best with the knowledge I have. I don’t think everyone is… the end.

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/01/2026 13:30

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 13:26

It wouldn’t come across as smug if you were a) doing the same b) were not triggered because you’re not….

😕

Edited

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You didn't answer my question.

What makes you think we didn't do the same as you? We did ,we were super strict with phones and social media BUT I would never lecture other people and presume I was getting it right because it can SO easily go wrong and you'd have no clue. Like I said how would you know messages had been deleted?

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 13:26

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/01/2026 08:46

How would you see deleted messages?

You're coming across as so smug with " How many of you are doing the same?"

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It wouldn’t come across as smug if you were a) doing the same b) were not triggered because you’re not….

😕

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 13:24

Franpie · 05/01/2026 10:03

I didn’t accuse you of being smug. I accused you of being naively judgemental.

Kids lie, they hide things, and most importantly, they and their friends are significantly more tech savvy than our generation. I’m pretty tech savvy myself and my best friend has a computer engineering degree, but our kids have managed to get plenty past us over the years. When they were pre-teens, there was about 6 months where we couldn’t for the life of us work out how our kids were bypassing the restrictions we had put on their devices. In fact, they had to own up to it eventually and tell us as we couldn’t figure it out ourselves.

I have a very open relationship with my kids. I have very few rules or restrictions on their lives and I think they tell me pretty much everything, certainly far more than I actually want to know!

But not even I’m foolish enough to believe that they don’t keep things from me. That they haven’t broken some of my few rules behind my back and had their friends cover for them. That they haven’t done something incredibly stupid and dangerous and hope I don’t find out. It’s part of being a teenager.

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You’re still missing the points.

Just because you and your friends children lie to you both, despite your open relationship, doesn’t mean all children do / will. Please don’t project onto me.
Regardless of point 1, it’s still not a reason to allow them to knowingly access social media as a child / young teen.

AllentonLass · 05/01/2026 10:05

Hi OP - I haven’t read the full thread.

However, if it’s any consolation- I did something MUCH worse than your son in my 30s when I should’ve known better and when it potentially could’ve ruined my life more and made it more difficult for me to recover from.

The good news is I got through it - I developed increased self confidence and getting through it was down to ‘owning’ it and not trying to hide it. After this ‘incident’ which was much worse than anything your son did and much much later - 30! In life when I should’ve known better - I ended up having the best and happiest years of my life!

So I know things are difficult in the present OP, but things really will get much better than this and your son can easily recover from this in the medium - long term, put this behind him and go on to live a happy, blessed life!

Franpie · 05/01/2026 10:03

MumWifeOther · 04/01/2026 21:11

I’m not being smug, this is how you’re perceiving it probably due to the fact that you allow your kids to have social media.

I do my best with the knowledge I have to protect my kids and teach them not to succumb to peer pressure.. and even if they do, guess who won’t? That’s right, their mum. Should I allow them access to what’s damaging as detailed in the post cos Tom, Dick, Harry and their mums are okay with it?

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I didn’t accuse you of being smug. I accused you of being naively judgemental.

Kids lie, they hide things, and most importantly, they and their friends are significantly more tech savvy than our generation. I’m pretty tech savvy myself and my best friend has a computer engineering degree, but our kids have managed to get plenty past us over the years. When they were pre-teens, there was about 6 months where we couldn’t for the life of us work out how our kids were bypassing the restrictions we had put on their devices. In fact, they had to own up to it eventually and tell us as we couldn’t figure it out ourselves.

I have a very open relationship with my kids. I have very few rules or restrictions on their lives and I think they tell me pretty much everything, certainly far more than I actually want to know!

But not even I’m foolish enough to believe that they don’t keep things from me. That they haven’t broken some of my few rules behind my back and had their friends cover for them. That they haven’t done something incredibly stupid and dangerous and hope I don’t find out. It’s part of being a teenager.

Probablyshouldntsay · 05/01/2026 09:59

Should add- pilot friend is fine, he blocked them everywhere and didn’t send any money. He doesn’t have social media of any kind, and got really into ‘real life’ ie took up hiking, sailing, gym hobbies etc. try and get your boy outdoors and in clubs exercising if you can.
the more time away from phone and phone signal the better

Probablyshouldntsay · 05/01/2026 09:55

Poor lad.
fwiw OP this happened to my friend, who was a 36 year old pilot at the time - very successful intelligent man. Please do feel free to show your son.
He was chatting with a ‘woman’ on the dating app ‘feeld’ for a couple of days and things heated up, before he knew it he ended up exchanging pictures, he was then was hit with screenshots of his linkedin, and they attempted to blackmail him for £20000 - or they would send to his very well known employers social media accounts.
No it’s not ideal to send photos, and of course him being a child makes this even more criminal but he mustn’t feel alone in this, because men triple his age fall for it too.
Its a hell of a lesson to learn ❤️

LamentableShoes · 05/01/2026 09:24

SeekOIt · 05/01/2026 01:14

And like I said, don't you dare fucking sit there and act like you're not hurting victims by preaching to them about the language they use. Now beat it.

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Are you saying people should be able to comment on others' language, or that they shouldn't? Because it looks like you're doing that (calling a request "preaching" and "policing") while telling others not to.

TeaRoseTallulah · 05/01/2026 08:46

MumWifeOther · 05/01/2026 07:40

Firstly, not all kids are like this and genuinely don’t think mine are. If I saw deleted messages that would prompt a serious conversation.
Secondly, even if they were, this still doesn’t mean I would allow them social media and to not check messages, or allow them to have access to their phones alone past 8pm.
I know I’m doing my to protect them from the dangers of social media.How many of you can say the same?

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How would you see deleted messages?

You're coming across as so smug with " How many of you are doing the same?"

Fluffytoebeanz · 05/01/2026 07:42

LamentableShoes · 04/01/2026 18:53

OP do you think you would be happy to copy and paste the text of the messages here?
It would be really good to have a concrete example of what was so persuasive. Obviously changing identifiable details.

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They use a script. This is an industry. Just bank phishing scams are. Young men are trained and have a book with a script they use for sextortion and romance scams