Teen son been a victim of a scam

These people know what they are doing. Like I said, it's a script, they love bomb and gain trust. It's awful

I guess I'd be a bit disappointed that she asked a stranger online to send photos and I'd have a chat with her about that.

Tbis 'poor boy' thought he was sending pictures of his genitalia to a young girl. What if it had been your daughter??

This happened to my autistic 26 year old son 4 months ago , he paid them £500 , he told us , it was awful , but , Monzo gave him the money back incredibly.
He begged the man not to do it and asked him why he would put people through it ? and was told for money …
I was so angry as DC is very vulnerable at the moment

I told him that fake AI could be blamed if any are published, and no one really cares .

Many will be sympathetic , but ultimately it was fine , he removed Facebook , blocked the number , and we heard no more even after getting a refund

it was a huge shock though

Scam interceptors on bbciplayer is worth watching as you will learn about how these systems operate and how your son is sadly, one of many many thousands, everyday. Hopefully that will remove some of the shame for him and help you to see how they operate.

They are often young lads themselves working 24/7 on scamming young lads- using a script & AI help- they work in teams/ organised groups and they don’t consider it criminal- a lot of them are from areas of desperate poverty and see it as a way to make money to get them out of their lifestyle traps. That’s the bigger picture- your son is shocked and embarrassed but it’s a very well thought out formula that he’s fallen for. He’ll not make the same mistake again.

Yes it is. educate yourself
In the UK the age of consent for sexual intercourse is 16. However, it is an offence to make, distribute, possess or show any indecent images of anyone aged under 18, even if the content was created with the consent of that young person. The law is contained in Section 1 Protection of Children Act 1978. ‘
Another one:
www.olliers.com/news/can-my-child-be-prosecuted-for-sending-indecent-images-of-themselves/

Sending a nude to an adult is not an offence… the adult extorting the nude is an offence. It could have been an offence if he sent it to an underage girl. This comment is very unhelpful in this situation.

Oh dear. He is a minor and won't get in trouble for this however is an offence what he did. You need to let the police talk sense into him as this kind of offence if he was an adult could land him onto sex offender register. Tell him he committed a grow up offence and what the grown up consequences are. Is harsh but is true. Onviously continue to suppprt him and reassure him you sound like a great mum. I don't think his photos will be leaked. Make sure the police adds him in investigation as involved party not suspect or it will stay on his record. Best of luck!

Please don’t let the nastiness get to you Op, the fact is that you did discover this, your ds confided in you and you’re helping him to sort it now. So you’re a good, supportive mum.
as others have said, teens are impulsive, gullible and full of hormones…they will made poor decisions some times and it’s hard. Anybody criticising and patting themselves on the back has either been extremely lucky or just hasn’t encountered issues yet!!

When the dust settles and you feel like you can watch it - I recommend this documentary https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m002kl4v

It focuses on a boy from the US but the reporter is from UK and they explore getting justice / reporting to police and why it doesn’t go anywhere.

Still report it though! One day they might get to the bottom of it.

Just wanted to send love and thoughts to you and your son OP. You're being a loving and supportive mum he will forever feel safe in your care. Smashing the mumming in my opinion in difficult circumstances. Take good care of yourself too x

I haven't RTFT so this point has probably been made already.

In the very unlikely even that the photos are ever made public to anyone your DS knows, I would just say they were fake and were created by the scammers to try to blackmail him.

It's very possible to fake photos, and let's face it, anyone who was sent an unsolicited nude photo of a friend or acquaintance would much rather believe it was just a fake. So they would be only too keen to get on board with that theory.

I doubt anyone would prosecute him in these circumstances but it is classed as child pornography and the perpetrators need to face consequences.

I don't think your son fucked up, he was the victim of a scam and blackmail. The scammers are 'professionals', they do this day in day out, they've learnt what works, what they need to say to get people to send a photo and if they weren't good at tricking people they'd of given up and this scam wouldn't exist.

I also don't think you're a bad parent. Your bank alerts meant you found out as soon as your son tried to transfer money. You talked to him and he told you what was going on. That's positive, you found out pretty much imediately. Don't feel bad. Also please don't tighten controls on your son so much he feels like he's being punished and keep an eye on him (I'm sure you are) as mentally teenagers have struggled with being trapped in this sort of scam. I also think it's a good idea to talk to the safeguarding lead at your sons school just so they're aware and can support your son if needed.

Honestly, despite what some posters say, it could happen in any family.

This happened to my DS and the police were brilliant with him. They emphasised that he was the victim and not the criminal and explained that it was unlikely they’d do any more than threaten him. He had the presence of mind to message me whilst they were on the phone to him to say he was being blackmailed and I was able to call the police at the time it was happening. I wouldn’t be worried about your ds having contact with the police - they were amazing with my ds and, despite the fact that it was massively upsetting for him, he said himself that it was a great lesson learned. He has had no further contact from the fraudsters. He was told that they’re just interested in getting as much money as possible, fast. If you don’t pay up they just move on to the next person. Please let him know he’s the victim and not the criminal. This helped my ds.

Do the scammers know his email and phone number? These need changing if so.

tiktok account needs deleting too.

Beat it? You’re using offensive language and then telling people to beat it when they ask you not to because it’s hurtful? And you’re acting like the arsehole in this situation is me? Riiiight. No. I won’t ‘beat it’ you egoist. I didn’t demand. I asked nicely. I even said please. Twice. Don’t fucking talk to me again because you won’t get a response.

Quite often the scammers send photos (mocked up ones of a teenage girl) to lure them to share their own nude photo. Teenage boys and hormones, they are all over the place. I don’t think any boy is immune. I was so shocked that my streetwise, popular, cynical son got scammed. A boy near us committed suicide. We need to talk to our boys, warn them but also don’t judge them if they do eff up. They need to know they can talk to us about anything.

Sure but why do scammers use this script? Because it works....

Teenage boys - and I can't think of a more vulnerable age than 14 for this kind of thing - are hovering around that breaking away stage. They are still kids but on the cusp of being something else. Their brains are re-wiring all over the place, hormones are peaking and it's easy to see why even the most 'head together' boys could, if approached in the right way at the right moment, be caught out.

The scenario I outlined upthread, whilst basic and full of red flags, is fairly standard for scammers because they are fucking practiced at this and they know exactly where the weak spots on a young teen boy are and how to tap into them.

I've had a chat with my 16 year old. It's hard to bring these things up but I told him I had read about it on Mumsnet and wanted to know what he thought about it. I also reiterated to come and talk to me if anything like that happened.

So thank you OP for the thread. I am sorry this happened but you are navigating a much more usual parenting style than those who never make any mistakes, and I am grateful to you for sharing.

OP, don’t waste your tears on this troll.

Thank you for this thread. It prompted me to go and have another chat with my DS14 about these scams and share with him your DS’s story and how easy it is to fall into this predicament. Hopefully this thread will have prompted lots more mums to do the same.

No, you are missing my point.

Which is that you don’t 100% know what your teenagers are doing 100% of the time.

You seem to think this could never happen to your children because you’re a better parent. That is a very blinkered and foolish view.

But 1 thing is for sure, should your children ever get themselves into a bit of bother, you have made it very difficult for them to come to you and admit what they have done.

Fortunately for OP, her child was able to admit his fuck-up to her and receive appropriate support.

There are cases of far too many teenage boys feeling they are unable to approach their parents and end up taking their own lives.

Hi OP is it not possible for you to block that poster, if not please ignore the nasty comments.
It’s perfectly obvious that you are a thoughtful caring mother battling as so many are against the internet that has stealthy woven itself into all our children’s/ grandchildren’s lives.
The most important thing of all is that you have been there for your son, you have surrounded him with love and you have taken all the right steps.
It’s every mothers nightmare and you have come through it, you are not a bad parent you are a star.