Teen son been a victim of a scam

Can you? Read the full thread .

I’d also contact his school and let themknow what’s happened, speak to the DSL.

They’ll be able to support if anything comes of it, and will be able to respond faster if they’re aware it’s a possibility.

I came here to say this too. OP can reassure her son that if the picture is released, he can plausibly deny it being real. All he has to do is lie convincingly for a short time until people get bored.

But seriously, delete tiktok, it's addictive poison and totally unsuited to a 14yo.

@worriedmum223 sorry if I'm doubling up on anything that has already been shared but wanted to pop this over.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/online-reporting/report-remove/?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22751322475&gbraid=0AAAAAD1QhMovhrv9Qfa85I8ppacg9ib4c&gclid=Cj0KCQiAvOjKBhC9ARIsAFvz5ljfXx8wLBEYxlVnNLivRYdKTxdnJz9iz1_qANOJutFvpOug7Q1lgtcaAtLxEALw_wcB

I work in young people's exploitation prevention. In terms of the images shared please contact report remove who will assist in the images not being shared further, you will need to upload the original images to the team.

Please also reach out to your local authority to see if they have a specialist young people's exploitation team, who could offer support/a key worker and signposting for support for your son (and you!) for the emotional impact of what has happened.

Not the same if the parents actually endorse it

This may have already been mentioned upthread but just in case – Childline run a 'Report Remove' service by which young people under 18 can confidentially report sexual images/videos of themselves that have been posted to the internet and get them deleted. Details here.

www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/report-remove/

Poor boy. This happened to the son of a woman I know. She handled it SO brilliantly, I always thought I'd pass on her attitude to anyone in a similar situation. She told him: they are bad people, you are not. Everyone has a body and everyone has a naked one. It's no shock to me that you have a body so if they threaten to send photos of you to your family, remember, none of us think it's a big deal that you have a body or that you, like almost everyone else on the planet, can get turned on. Totally normal. No big deal. Nothing we would want to look at or think is weird. What IS a big deal is blackmailing someone, so let them know they will get nothing from you except a crime report number which will be pursued if they send a single image anywhere.

I hope that something similar would help you and your son too.

I'd get him a new phone, new email addresses and block the contact from these. And move forward. Harsh lesson learned. It's highly unlikely the person would share the pics.

Publish and be damned. And hopefully lesson learned. All the caveats about parenting and Social Media applies. Our or your children are NOT going to be computer billionaires and need to understand people are out there trying to rob you/me of money/data and they are professional at it. Like me trying to get into a locked car and a car thief taking your Range Rover in 15 seconds.

I wouldn't tell your son to default to lying about the images being AI generated. Its distressing for him but always difficult to roll back on a lie if he changes his mind - he then has the element of feeling embarrassed about the scam, and about the lie. Its unlikely he will need to tell anybody anything but turning to dishonesty to alleviate embarrassment that isn't actually going to dissipate for him for some time isn't a good path.

I'm so sorry, what a horrible experience for your son 😔 please don't be hard on him or yourself, unfortunately these bastards target teenagers because they are vulnerable and don't have the reasoning/impulse control skills to properly evaluate the situation yet.

You have done all the right things so far - just keep reassuring him that he can come to you with anything and you will help him. The fact that he didn't tell you at first isn't because you're not a good parent - it's just the embarrassment and the shame that held him back. He's probably very relieved now that you know and can deal with the situation. Keep an eye on him and maybe see his GP if you're worried about his mental health, he can be referred for some support.

I hope the police are helpful and will be able to reassure and support your son too 💐

Some teenagers will go out of their way to bypass restrictions. Most won't bother.

stop repeating these damaging statements:

”we can’t stop them from being on social media” yes you 100% can. I bet you pay for their devices / wifi they use to access it.

”all their friends are doing it” if you’re friends all jumped off a bridge would you? Message from since parenting began.

”social media is harmless” literally has been proven to be harming our kids mental healthy repeatedly.

as parents we are part of the problem if we’re not saying no to this rubbish

OP, I haven't RTFT, but I've read all of your posts. This is an extremely common scam, and it's rare that the perpetrators actually follow through on their threats. It's literally some guy in an illegal call centre halfway across the world, who probably has dozens of these scams going at once. Go to the Scams sub on Reddit, and you can read about hundreds of similar cases. In general you're safe to call their bluff and just ignore it, and nothing further will happen. /r/Scams

I'm really sorry this has happened to your son. He's learned a valuable, but painful, lesson.

I am so sorry OP- this is so upsetting for you all. I think you've done the right thing by going to the police.

Ignore the people being unkind- at age 14 I did some monumentally stupid things, heck, at age 18 I did some monumentally stupid things, it doesn't mean your entire life deserves to be ruined.

I would recommend you read the book the gift of fear by Gavin De Becker- its a wonderful book about staying safe and has some great advice in it about blackmail threats etc

You are on the right track by the sound of it. I wouldn't overally worry personally. There are so many scammers like this out there. Giving them money for these photos is a no no. I wouldn't give the photos too much thought. Your son could always tell contacts they were AI generated by a scammer worst comes to worst. It is a lesson for your son though. I would keep things calm and not give out too much because it looks like he has got good fright already. But do have a chat to him about the dangers of scammers, how internet users can be posing as teens/kids so that he knows. You did the right thing telling the guards. There are lots of scammers out there so I don't know how much they will do but it's good to make them aware

Of course I know criminals exist elsewhere. I agree he is a victim.

As I said I feel huge sympathy and we’ve experienced horrid things with our son years ago on utube- part of the reason we have our current set up.

I want to share this message: my kids are not on social media and they have great, normal lives.

This removes a huge channel of risk from their lives.

Of course I know it doesn’t remove all risk.

My kids are happy and healthy and have great friends.

It is possible. We as parents need to stop wringing our hands and take back the power.

We need to keep our kids safe from what has been proven to be a dangerous thing.

yes it’s hard and difficult to go against the tide but the tide sucks and it’s stupid and puts kids at risk.

So not helpful 🙄

I think you need to read a bit more about how Australia is implementing the ban…

Because the people running these scams are highly skilled at gaining trust. It’s absolutely no different to children who are groomed online and in real life for the purpose of sexually abusing them. We don’t blame those young people because we recognise how sophisticated the mechanisms are that draw young people in and how victimised the young people are.

I’d rather help my kids navigate these waters while I’m able to support them and influence them than wait until they are 16/18 and are trying to find their way with less oversight. It’s very easy to judge and blame.

The OP did highlight the dangers. She did tell him how to protect himself. You can as top them using social media.

f the worst happens, tell hm to deny everything and say they are deepfakes.

I agree that, as a society, we need to do something. Unfortunately, I don’t think that banning under 16s will change much. We all know that teenagers are technologically very capable and are likely to be able to bypass age restrictions anyway. As an example, instagram is theoretically for over 13s and yet lots of children have accounts below that age (often with their parents’ knowledge). Let’s assume that they abide by the 16 age limit. They won’t suddenly become sensible and tech savvy on their 16th birthday. They’ll go from having nothing to being let loose on social media platforms.

Aside from all that, we don’t need to wait for laws to be passed if we don’t want our children on certain social media platforms. I know of plenty of younger teens not on tik tok or Snapchat for example.

You think criminals only exist online??

You don’t think young teenage boys are at risk of grooming by gangs or older influences in real life?

You don’t think he could send pics to a gf who would then use them against him in the future?

You don’t think he could go out and be mugged by a random person?

Social media is part of everyday life.
You cannot stop them from using it, just like you can’t keep them locked in the house forever.

What you can do is highlight the dangers and tips on how to protect themselves.

But OPs son is a victim, just as much as if he was robbed on the street.

My son had exactly the same experience and the scammer threatened to send the picture to various older sounding women on his friends list (his aunt, grandmother and a couple of family friends, obviously chosen for maximum embarrassment). When he pushed back, saying he was 14 and had no money, they wanted my credit card details. Later that evening a man phoned him and claimed to be FBI, saying he would be arrested if he didn't pay. I can see how this could push a more sensitive child into hurting themselves or worse. On our advice he ignored them and I asked the women mentioned to ignore any messages and they were very understanding (and I checked my mum's messenger account and she had been contacted but it had gone to a spam filter thing). Please reassure your son thattelling you was the right thing to do and that nothing further will come of it.