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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for my own hotel room on business trip?

187 replies

Notmollybutdolly · 03/01/2026 19:01

Hi. Work for a huge corporate company with a conference taking place in a few weeks.
travel will be the day before, by train, and staying over for training the following day travelling back that night.
work expects us to share a room with someone, and 90% sure it’ll be someone I’ve never met before. Even if it was a colleague, I still would refuse.
AIBU to have emailed them to request them to book me a separate room?
I didn’t give an excuse, only because I feel like I don’t need an excuse for my own room?

OP posts:
IAmKerplunk · 04/01/2026 16:30

Poutingtrout · 04/01/2026 16:23

I would be absolutely amazed if your HR are aware and have given this the green light.

I thought that - no way would my HR allow it, probably even if it was requested! It would be a flat out no from them.

Poutingtrout · 04/01/2026 16:23

I would be absolutely amazed if your HR are aware and have given this the green light.

SerendipityJane · 04/01/2026 16:19

Notmollybutdolly · 03/01/2026 19:10

That’s how I feel! It is all women but still!

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Real women ?

IAmKerplunk · 04/01/2026 16:18

I work for a mid sized not for profit company who are very tight but they always book separate rooms for staff in hotels. Absolutely unacceptable to expect you to share.

AgnesMcDoo · 04/01/2026 16:13

Moveoverdarlin · 03/01/2026 20:17

Absolutely refuse. If they query it I would state medical issues and not go in to further details.

This is a good fallback if you get any problems.

better than your farting suggestion @Notmollybutdolly

AgnesMcDoo · 04/01/2026 16:09

I wouldn’t go if I couldn’t have my own room.

Jc2001 · 04/01/2026 16:08

Henhipster · 03/01/2026 19:24

A useful excuse could be “ I always have a separate room as I snore so badly”

Why should you have to make excuses?

TheSmallHours · 04/01/2026 16:00

longtompot · 04/01/2026 15:52

In what way? The responses seem the same to me

Not a work thing, but a few years ago I shared with my sister. We get along fine, but haven't shared a room since we both lived at home and I slept worse than I usually do when in a strange bed. I wouldn't do that again. I absolutely wouldn't do it with a stranger.

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Don't refuse without giving a reason. Explanation why it may be necessary to share. Not the point-blank 'No' as on this thread.

longtompot · 04/01/2026 15:52

TheSmallHours · 03/01/2026 21:27

How different these responses are to the same problem.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/the_staffroom/5458265-staff-room-sharing-on-residential?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

In what way? The responses seem the same to me

Not a work thing, but a few years ago I shared with my sister. We get along fine, but haven't shared a room since we both lived at home and I slept worse than I usually do when in a strange bed. I wouldn't do that again. I absolutely wouldn't do it with a stranger.

Jasmin71 · 04/01/2026 13:16

Science conferences were always like this. I point blank refused to share. Or got out of going somehow. Not unreasonable at all.

MadridMadridMadrid · 04/01/2026 13:15

YANBU. I've stayed away for work lots of times over the years and not once has anyone ever suggested that I share a room.

DisappointedD · 04/01/2026 12:54

DH in the building trade worked away for years and was always expected to share. Me in the corporate world has never had to share (and I wouldn’t share!).

We once did a whole department offsite and had the hotel exclusively. We had a choice of two hotels when planning, the much much nicer hotel was about 4 bedrooms short. We went out to the department and asked if anyone would want to volunteer to share but made it clear if people didn’t want to we would use the other hotel. Some people who were friends outside of work offered to share and we got them all a bottle of wine as a thank you as well.

Becs258 · 04/01/2026 12:35

My husband had to do this, sharing with two workmates, one of whom was my ex. Very bizarre situation, luckily the organisation are doing much better and he gets his own room now.

spidersenses · 04/01/2026 12:18

I had to do this once in the 90s with someone much more senior than me. I wasn’t keen even though I liked her and we got on well, but too junior to make a fuss. A different boss at a different company suggested it in the mid naughties to “save money”, I said no. None of the men were doing it and it was a huge company. She thought I was unreasonable but i didn’t have to share thank goodness. It hasn’t happened since.

AffableApple · 04/01/2026 12:11

Pearlstillsinging · 03/01/2026 20:57

Or just "No!".

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Well, quite.

CommentHere · 04/01/2026 00:48

I prefer to share if it's with someone I know well and like, however for a business trip you should absolutely be given a single room, no question.

I actually think the company are taking a risk expecting you to share with someone you might not even know. Completely unacceptable.

biggestcatmom · 04/01/2026 00:42

Hard NO from me. Adults need their own room.

novocaine4thesoul · 04/01/2026 00:40

Moveoverdarlin · 03/01/2026 20:17

Absolutely refuse. If they query it I would state medical issues and not go in to further details.

Do this. They are being completely unreasonable.

After saying that, I once went on a week's "outward bounds" type team building course with work out in the wilds, and they had us in dorms. Because there were only two women, we shared a room between two, whilst the lads probably had more to a room. I (and hope we both) really enjoyed it, it was a brilliant laugh. But I also shared a big room at University for a year, and still remember it fondly. I still have no objection sharing now really with sisters or a good friend but I can see completely why others would not want to.

SnowDaysAndBadLays · 04/01/2026 00:39

Alloveragain44 · 03/01/2026 21:10

Everyone should have their own rooms but if others are expected to share why should you be any different?

What kind of wimp are you?
Someone has to be the one to stand up and say no, even if others are ok with it.
I'm assuming you go along with everything you don't like just because others do?

Wtafdidido · 04/01/2026 00:27

Absolutely no way.

BringBackCatsEyes · 04/01/2026 00:16

I've shared a room at academic conference before. Not for many years mind.
I've also shared a bathroom (own room). This was with a senior academic at Cold Spring Harbour which had pretty limited onsite accommodation.
The only person I'd share a room with these days is my sister (only one of them!) and my sons (and only if we had to due to travel plans).

canibearsedregularly · 03/01/2026 23:41

I don’t even share with friends if we go away together. Absolutely non negotiable. I need my space and privacy!

Ohpleeeease · 03/01/2026 23:38

Notmollybutdolly · 03/01/2026 19:12

I’m going to tell them if they ask, I have a farting problem 🤣 which isn’t untrue.

Don’t do this, unless you want this to be what you are know for by everyone you work with (and their friends).

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 03/01/2026 23:36

That’s an HR nightmare waiting to happen

NemesisInferior · 03/01/2026 23:34

Absolutely I would refuse to share a room with a collegue. Tell them to GTF unless they book you a single room.