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Original poster

Why do none of my in-laws wash their hands

343 replies

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 21:47

Need a rant to be honest. Actually sick of their lack of hygiene.

They’ve only arrived today and it’s making my skin crawl. I’ve gone to bed for an early night and I’ve just heard my fil going to the toilet, not flush or wash his hands. A few minutes later, mil comes up. She flushes at least but also, very definitely, does not wash her hands! The toilet is a small toilet along our upstairs landing (separate from a bathroom) and you can hear the tap being turned on very clearly.

We had chicken wraps for dinner, all putting their fingers in the sodding salad. Fil currently has a cold.

Debating whether to say something to my husband but there’s a huge backstory whereby he feels like I’m constantly criticising them, so probably best to keep my mouth shut. I might just passive aggressively repeatedly remind the kids to wash their hands tomorrow.

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 23:47

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2025 23:43

Do you then handle food?

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I said previously I always wash my hands before preparing food

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:46

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:46

Yet we're never ill because the house is clean, we all bath and shower daily. We all wash our hands multiple times a day. Clean clothes daily. Some germs are necessary.

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’some germs are necessary’- not fecal matter/particles.

OP posts:
Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:46

FelixRyark · 30/12/2025 23:44

Yep..,I feel this. I have liquid soap dispensers beside every sink in my house. So, if someone comes in from the garden, having been to the wheely bin, they can wash their hands at the utility room sink, or the adjacent downstairs loo, or even the kitchen sink.

Yet, I regularly have to ‘remind’ my in-laws to wash their hands. I wonder if it’s because it was drummed into me as a child, or maybe because I worked in a hotel whilst in Uni that maybe I’m just more aware….

How do you ‘remind’ them? I seem to be incapable of doing this without sounding patronising or snarky 🙃

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 23:46

Hyperbowl · 30/12/2025 23:43

It’s about germs being spread by other people when using the toilet then using the flush and by yourself as well. It’s really not that difficult to imagine this being how germs are spread is
it? Not to mention diseases/infections that are spread from fecal matter into food.

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Yet we're never ill because the house is clean, we all bath and shower daily. We all wash our hands multiple times a day. Clean clothes daily. Some germs are necessary.

MissSophiaGrace · 30/12/2025 23:45

People who "only touch the toilet roll..." surely also touch the seat ? I mean do you not put the seat lid down before you flush? You then touch the flush ...

The more I read, the less I want to leave my own house. I certainly don't want to eat at anyone else's house if I can avoid it.

NightLightCream · 30/12/2025 23:45

In future make individual salads, either put them in soup bowls, on their plates ready or in ramekins, for each person, and that takes out the sharing aspect

You will breathe more easily. Do the same with any shared bread, and dips or sauces.

Also encourage handwashing.

I feel so sorry for you. 🤢

FelixRyark · 30/12/2025 23:44

Yep..,I feel this. I have liquid soap dispensers beside every sink in my house. So, if someone comes in from the garden, having been to the wheely bin, they can wash their hands at the utility room sink, or the adjacent downstairs loo, or even the kitchen sink.

Yet, I regularly have to ‘remind’ my in-laws to wash their hands. I wonder if it’s because it was drummed into me as a child, or maybe because I worked in a hotel whilst in Uni that maybe I’m just more aware….

GreywackeJ · 30/12/2025 23:44

It’s quite odd to put hands in salad - how does that work?

I have no idea if guests are washing their hands. I don’t listen out for proof.

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2025 23:43

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:11

I only wash my hands after a wee in public places not in my own home

Do you then handle food?

fashionqueen0123 · 30/12/2025 23:43

This thread makes me not want to touch anything in other peoples houses! Knowing some people are going to the loo and then not washing hands and then probably making food etc!

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:43

AffableApple · 30/12/2025 23:41

OK, I'll have one last attempt, but I don't think you're able to understand.

So your kid has a shit. There is fecal matter on the handle/flusher. (Also the seat, the walls, the floor, but we won't go there, we'llkeep this simple.) You touch the flusher/handle.

You wipe yourself. You now have their shit and your piss on your hands. You leave the bathroom.

I'm done now, because you are disgusting to not wash your hands and spread all this round your house, and then take it out with you too on your hands and anything you leave the house with.

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Why would I piss on my hand i don't pee on my hands

Hyperbowl · 30/12/2025 23:43

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:33

So whats it about if its not about germs from other people

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It’s about germs being spread by other people when using the toilet then using the flush and by yourself as well. It’s really not that difficult to imagine this being how germs are spread is
it? Not to mention diseases/infections that are spread from fecal matter into food.

Safxxx · 30/12/2025 23:43

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:39

Maybe I should go full PA and say ‘oh is the tap not working?’ As one of them comes out from the toilet tomorrow?

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Or are you allergic to the water in my house? I've not seen you wash your hands since you've been here 😜

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:41

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:39

Im really not worried about germs from my own family. Since I share a bed with my partner and you get germs from your kids no matter what you do. We are very rarely ill so where clearly doing something right. I couldn't even tell you the last time I even had a cold.

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As someone said upthread it’s not about germs, it’s about personal hygiene. And not spreading wee and poo particles over all of the surfaces in your house.

OP posts:
AffableApple · 30/12/2025 23:41

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:13

There is only my partner and children in my home. I said earlier I wash my hands after a poo or on my period I just don't after a wee

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OK, I'll have one last attempt, but I don't think you're able to understand.

So your kid has a shit. There is fecal matter on the handle/flusher. (Also the seat, the walls, the floor, but we won't go there, we'llkeep this simple.) You touch the flusher/handle.

You wipe yourself. You now have their shit and your piss on your hands. You leave the bathroom.

I'm done now, because you are disgusting to not wash your hands and spread all this round your house, and then take it out with you too on your hands and anything you leave the house with.

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:40

brown31c · 30/12/2025 23:38

Maybe they’re allergic to the soap at your house? Be more considerate

Both of them? Allergic to the vast array of soaps we’ve had for the last 10+ years. Pull the other one. I have two different bottles of hand soap in that particular toilet alone.

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 23:39

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:34

And then you touch the flush which has been touched by your husband and children who might have wee and poo and whatever else on their hands.

Washing your hands after going to the toilet is one of the most basic elements of personal hygiene. If someone doesn’t do that I wonder what else they are or are not doing that’s basic hygiene tbh. What are you doing with all the vast amounts of time you’re saving not washing your hands?

Show quote history

Im really not worried about germs from my own family. Since I share a bed with my partner and you get germs from your kids no matter what you do. We are very rarely ill so where clearly doing something right. I couldn't even tell you the last time I even had a cold.

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:39

Safxxx · 30/12/2025 23:37

So you're not saying anything as you've apparently criticized them enough according to your husband....so only say the worst that they do so he doesn't get offended lol
You can ignore or tolerate their other bad habits but not when it comes to hygiene...it must be said especially when their in your house and touching everything 🤮

Maybe I should go full PA and say ‘oh is the tap not working?’ As one of them comes out from the toilet tomorrow?

OP posts:
brown31c · 30/12/2025 23:38

Maybe they’re allergic to the soap at your house? Be more considerate

Safxxx · 30/12/2025 23:37

So you're not saying anything as you've apparently criticized them enough according to your husband....so only say the worst that they do so he doesn't get offended lol
You can ignore or tolerate their other bad habits but not when it comes to hygiene...it must be said especially when their in your house and touching everything 🤮

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:37

Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2025 23:35

What a ridiculous comparison. I know apart from me and my DH no one is using our bathroom, which I clean regularly. But I know about 500 women have probably used one cubicle in M&S in the Trafford Centre in one day in the run up to Christmas. Of those 1000 women, some will have colds, STIs, the shits, be on their period etc.

I never bother shutting the bathroom door at home, so I don’t touch the handle. I go for a wee, use toilet paper, so no wee touches my hands, flush and walk out. If I was in a public toilet, the clue is kind of in the name, it’s public, it’s a numbers game. Don’t compare my glistening clean en suite with one of the bogs at Kings Cross. Of course it’s more likely to have germs. I’d clean my hands thoroughly in a public loo, but not for a wee just at home.

Edited
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I agree with this logic but why wouldn’t you just wash your hands briefly at home? What are you gaining by not washing your hands? It’s good personal hygiene.

OP posts:
Livelovebehappy · 30/12/2025 23:37

fashionqueen0123 · 30/12/2025 23:31

Hand gel isn’t as effective as washing hands

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I just hate using public toilets, and would rather cross my legs til I get home. I just can’t bring myself to use sinks where literally dozens of other people have had their hands on/in. But if I have no choice I’d rather just gel my hands than use sinks in public toilets. I know OPs isn’t a public toilet, but some people will still tend to use gel at other people’s homes out of habit.

Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2025 23:35

rainbowsparkle28 · 30/12/2025 23:04

Because the germs mysteriously know the difference between when you are in public and are at home right?! 🙄🤢 Grim.

Show quote history

What a ridiculous comparison. I know apart from me and my DH no one is using our bathroom, which I clean regularly. But I know about 500 women have probably used one cubicle in M&S in the Trafford Centre in one day in the run up to Christmas. Of those 1000 women, some will have colds, STIs, the shits, be on their period etc.

I never bother shutting the bathroom door at home, so I don’t touch the handle. I go for a wee, use toilet paper, so no wee touches my hands, flush and walk out. If I was in a public toilet, the clue is kind of in the name, it’s public, it’s a numbers game. Don’t compare my glistening clean en suite with one of the bogs at Kings Cross. Of course it’s more likely to have germs. I’d clean my hands thoroughly in a public loo, but not for a wee just at home.

idkbroidk · 30/12/2025 23:35

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:11

I only wash my hands after a wee in public places not in my own home

GROSSSS

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:34

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:27

Yes my hands touch the toilet paper but nothing else. Why would it. How on earth are you lot weeing

Show quote history

And then you touch the flush which has been touched by your husband and children who might have wee and poo and whatever else on their hands.

Washing your hands after going to the toilet is one of the most basic elements of personal hygiene. If someone doesn’t do that I wonder what else they are or are not doing that’s basic hygiene tbh. What are you doing with all the vast amounts of time you’re saving not washing your hands?

OP posts: