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Original poster

Why do none of my in-laws wash their hands

343 replies

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 21:47

Need a rant to be honest. Actually sick of their lack of hygiene.

They’ve only arrived today and it’s making my skin crawl. I’ve gone to bed for an early night and I’ve just heard my fil going to the toilet, not flush or wash his hands. A few minutes later, mil comes up. She flushes at least but also, very definitely, does not wash her hands! The toilet is a small toilet along our upstairs landing (separate from a bathroom) and you can hear the tap being turned on very clearly.

We had chicken wraps for dinner, all putting their fingers in the sodding salad. Fil currently has a cold.

Debating whether to say something to my husband but there’s a huge backstory whereby he feels like I’m constantly criticising them, so probably best to keep my mouth shut. I might just passive aggressively repeatedly remind the kids to wash their hands tomorrow.

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 22:41

Rosamutabilis · 30/12/2025 22:35

Bizarre

Show quote history

Its really not everyone does it

Why do none of my in-laws wash their hands
Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:40

Rosamutabilis · 30/12/2025 22:32

They sound absolutely disgusting, as do the other non hand washers on here. I always wondered in covid times why people had to be instructed by the government to wash their hands frequently, but the message was presumably directed at people like your in-laws.
Do they wash their hands before and during food prep?
I wash my hands every time I use the loo, even though I live alone, during food prep, always after handling raw meat, every time I come in from places like shops when I've touched trolleys or surfaces.

Why are their actual hands in the salad, do you not have salad servers?

No and come to think of it they don’t have hand wash at their house either or worktop spray- something my dh has commented on (he has repeatedly acknowledged their lack of hygiene). I cut my visits to theirs nearly two years ago now because of it.

We have salad servers but they’ll often ignore implements and go straight in for stuff with their fingers. The worst was when they sat at the end of a Sunday dinner and both picked at the rest of the roast chicken with their hands. It was years ago now but it’s burned into my brain.

OP posts:
OnTheBoardwalk · 30/12/2025 22:39

SnowDaysAndBadLays · 30/12/2025 22:37

It's not great, but it is also weird that you are monitoring them in the toilet.

Not when your lack of hygiene is putting your touching of genitals straight into my mouth

SnowDaysAndBadLays · 30/12/2025 22:37

It's not great, but it is also weird that you are monitoring them in the toilet.

fashionqueen0123 · 30/12/2025 22:37

I once saw my MiL and SIL and child all walk out of a public loo while I stayed to wash my hands.
I couldn’t believe it and told DH. So yes I’d tell yours.

Dollymylove · 30/12/2025 22:36

Buy a set of salad tongs

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:35

Lourdes12 · 30/12/2025 22:33

Same here. I only wash my hands in my own home after a poo

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One for the non-hand washers island.

OP posts:
Rosamutabilis · 30/12/2025 22:35

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:33

When a cup has been sitting on the draining board so is basically dry you press the rim of the cup on your boob (while dressed obviously) and turn

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Bizarre

fashionqueen0123 · 30/12/2025 22:35

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:11

I only wash my hands after a wee in public places not in my own home

What?! 🤢

addictedtotheflats · 30/12/2025 22:34

Its disgusting, my Dad and stepmum do the same. I avoid anything theyve cooked or prepared when i go round and suggest eating out or takeaway

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:33

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:28

Live a little have you ever dried a cup with your boob or used the 5 second rule

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I’m relaxed, not feral.

My boobs are at least my own (although, at first I thought you meant drying a cup with your bare boob…I was imagining trying to dry a martini class with a bare breast and wondering why I hadn’t experienced this 🤣)

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 22:33

Itsmetheflamingo · 30/12/2025 22:31

I need to know more about using your breasts to dry up 😭

Show quote history

When a cup has been sitting on the draining board so is basically dry you press the rim of the cup on your boob (while dressed obviously) and turn

Lourdes12 · 30/12/2025 22:33

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:11

I only wash my hands after a wee in public places not in my own home

Same here. I only wash my hands in my own home after a poo

Rosamutabilis · 30/12/2025 22:32

They sound absolutely disgusting, as do the other non hand washers on here. I always wondered in covid times why people had to be instructed by the government to wash their hands frequently, but the message was presumably directed at people like your in-laws.
Do they wash their hands before and during food prep?
I wash my hands every time I use the loo, even though I live alone, during food prep, always after handling raw meat, every time I come in from places like shops when I've touched trolleys or surfaces.

Why are their actual hands in the salad, do you not have salad servers?

crazeekat · 30/12/2025 22:32

Sorry the thought of the salad with the pee pee fingers has just made my belly flip. My stepmom was like this, but it was with smoking, 50 a day minimum and would serve food with fat in her hand. We were kids no option not to eat it. Thought of it now is vile so pee is even worse

Itsmetheflamingo · 30/12/2025 22:31

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:28

Live a little have you ever dried a cup with your boob or used the 5 second rule

Show quote history

I need to know more about using your breasts to dry up 😭

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:28

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:24

I’d quite like hand washers and non-hand washers to be segregated. All the non-hand washers can go live somewhere together, content touching each others poo particles and all of the hand washers can live together in peace.

Live a little have you ever dried a cup with your boob or used the 5 second rule

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:24

I’d quite like hand washers and non-hand washers to be segregated. All the non-hand washers can go live somewhere together, content touching each others poo particles and all of the hand washers can live together in peace.

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 22:24

Bloodyscarymary · 30/12/2025 22:20

@youalright agree - and I get the justification you probably make that your bathroom is clean so why bother…. However the opportunity to wash your hands after bathroom use protects others from your poop and wee particles and offers a timely moment to wash your hands from the general detritus of the day which builds up. Take it!

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I always wash my hands after a poo or if im on my period. I always wash my hands before and after preparing food. But just a quick wee in my own home I don't think its necessary. People need some germs.

Bloodyscarymary · 30/12/2025 22:20

Helpwithdivorce · 30/12/2025 22:17

Ummm what now? That’s really disgusting

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@youalright agree - and I get the justification you probably make that your bathroom is clean so why bother…. However the opportunity to wash your hands after bathroom use protects others from your poop and wee particles and offers a timely moment to wash your hands from the general detritus of the day which builds up. Take it!

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:20

It doesn’t even take 2 minutes!

OP posts:
Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:19

OnTheBoardwalk · 30/12/2025 22:14

I've always been obsessed with handwashing and don’t understand why people aren’t obsessed with it either

my nephew never washed his hands whilst living with me. I bluntly told him so you’ve just touched your dick and now you are wiping it all over my house and passing me stuff

i am never usually that bold about anything but why don’t random men get this

It really gets to me. I think because it’s such a simple act yet a lack of it says so much about a person!

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 22:18

Helpwithdivorce · 30/12/2025 22:17

Ummm what now? That’s really disgusting

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Why is it?

Horrorscope · 30/12/2025 22:18

Dirty hands in the salad. Grimsville 🦠😬

Bloodyscarymary · 30/12/2025 22:18

I don’t know why they don’t OP, but I offer my sympathies and solidarity as a fellow hand washer. When I am in public bathrooms I am absolutely appalled by the amount of people who swan out without even touching upon the sink zone. I just don’t get it - imagine the grossest thing someone could do in a bathroom… well that’s probably what you’re touching as you unlock the door.