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Original poster

Why do none of my in-laws wash their hands

343 replies

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 21:47

Need a rant to be honest. Actually sick of their lack of hygiene.

They’ve only arrived today and it’s making my skin crawl. I’ve gone to bed for an early night and I’ve just heard my fil going to the toilet, not flush or wash his hands. A few minutes later, mil comes up. She flushes at least but also, very definitely, does not wash her hands! The toilet is a small toilet along our upstairs landing (separate from a bathroom) and you can hear the tap being turned on very clearly.

We had chicken wraps for dinner, all putting their fingers in the sodding salad. Fil currently has a cold.

Debating whether to say something to my husband but there’s a huge backstory whereby he feels like I’m constantly criticising them, so probably best to keep my mouth shut. I might just passive aggressively repeatedly remind the kids to wash their hands tomorrow.

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 23:13

AffableApple · 30/12/2025 23:11

So you don't use the handle/flusher which already has wee/poo/blood/semen on it, from yourself/house-sharers/guests? You don't wipe your arse? Spreading all that round your house. Gross.

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There is only my partner and children in my home. I said earlier I wash my hands after a poo or on my period I just don't after a wee

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:13

Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2025 23:12

Me too. Just asked my DH and he said the same thing.

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Do you wash your hands before you prepare food at least?

OP posts:
Moveoverdarlin · 30/12/2025 23:12

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:11

I only wash my hands after a wee in public places not in my own home

Me too. Just asked my DH and he said the same thing.

AffableApple · 30/12/2025 23:11

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:05

No my bathroom is clean public bathrooms are not.

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So you don't use the handle/flusher which already has wee/poo/blood/semen on it, from yourself/house-sharers/guests? You don't wipe your arse? Spreading all that round your house. Gross.

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:10

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:08

Have you taught your children how to wash there hands properly for a minimum of 20 seconds as 10 seconds like you previously said you did isn't enough 🤔

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Did you actually read my post in response to this?

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 23:09

hidinginthebathroomagain · 30/12/2025 23:09

lol. I do this too

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See i knew i wasn't the only one 🤣🤣

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:09

Definitely have learnt my lesson r.e types of meals we will be serving during their visits from here on out. Though I couldn’t have predicted the chicken.

OP posts:
hidinginthebathroomagain · 30/12/2025 23:09

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:33

When a cup has been sitting on the draining board so is basically dry you press the rim of the cup on your boob (while dressed obviously) and turn

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lol. I do this too

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:08

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:06

Interestingly my nephews also don’t wash their hands- or at least have to be reminded repeatedly. They’re sick all of the time. My children- who now don’t need to be reminded- are very rarely ill.

Have you taught your children how to wash there hands properly for a minimum of 20 seconds as 10 seconds like you previously said you did isn't enough 🤔

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:08

TBC99 · 30/12/2025 23:08

If they never wash their hands, why on earth are you doing a sharing meal with them?

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They suggested it 🫣

OP posts:
TBC99 · 30/12/2025 23:08

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:07

I do think this is why fil perhaps didn’t flush. However there’s no excuse not to wash your hands. Should have added this as context- but this is an ongoing thing that I’ve noticed for years. They never wash their hands.

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If they never wash their hands, why on earth are you doing a sharing meal with them?

Ilovemychocolate · 30/12/2025 23:07

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:11

I only wash my hands after a wee in public places not in my own home

Gross!

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:06

Interestingly my nephews also don’t wash their hands- or at least have to be reminded repeatedly. They’re sick all of the time. My children- who now don’t need to be reminded- are very rarely ill.

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 23:05

rainbowsparkle28 · 30/12/2025 23:04

Because the germs mysteriously know the difference between when you are in public and are at home right?! 🙄🤢 Grim.

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No my bathroom is clean public bathrooms are not.

thisisyoursign · 30/12/2025 23:05

shhblackbag · 30/12/2025 22:53

I'm amazed at how many don't wash their hands. It's basic hygiene. Gross.

This. Revolting. They’re touching the same flush that someone has used after a poo or period and then not washing. Yuck.

CleanSkin · 30/12/2025 23:04

Yuk. That’s not just grim, it is dangerous.
P/A is the way to go.
Also no more sharing meals, not even snacks - crisps in individual portions bags, whole pieces of fruit, whole bottles of gin etc.

Fingalscave · 30/12/2025 23:04

Perrylobster · 30/12/2025 22:52

I had a friend like this and in the end I stopped wanting to spend time with her. Her children were always ill with vomiting bugs or colds and she just thought it was normal. They were always being sick.

My SIL doesn't wash her hands after using the toilet (she has told me many times) and consequently didn't teach her children to. Her kids never flushed or washed their hands so I used to pointedly ask them to go back, flush and wash their hands. They were always coming down with stomach bugs.

rainbowsparkle28 · 30/12/2025 23:04

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:11

I only wash my hands after a wee in public places not in my own home

Because the germs mysteriously know the difference between when you are in public and are at home right?! 🙄🤢 Grim.

HowAboutNowJane · 30/12/2025 23:04

I don't wash my hands if I get up for a wee in the night as dh is a light sleeper but I do use hand sanitizer, and the first thing I do when I get up is go to the loo and subsequently wash my hands.

I was never brought up to wash my hands before eating, and I was rarely sick as a child.

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:03

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:01

Then you're not washing them properly it should be a minimum of 20 seconds. I may not be washing them as often as you but I am washing them properly when I do

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Obviously I wash them for longer before I do things like meal prep/eat. I wash them for longer if I’m going to the loo during the day- and wash them for a considerable amount of time if I’m using a public toilet! My 10 seconds when I’ve been to the loo in the middle of the night is far better than your nothing.

OP posts:
UnusualOtter · 30/12/2025 23:02

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:01

Two for bacteria bay

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But why? Am genuinely interested. Are you getting wee on your hands when you do a wee?

SparklingCrow · 30/12/2025 23:01

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:42

Why? Everyone in my household has been inside me one way or another i don't think they are worried about my germs its family

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Do you think that’s why so many women feel so invaded and ‘touched out’ all the time?

youalright · 30/12/2025 23:01

mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 22:59

I have a dim light that comes on with a sensor when I enter the toilet/bathroom and I wash my hands. It probably doesn’t even take 10 seconds.

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Then you're not washing them properly it should be a minimum of 20 seconds. I may not be washing them as often as you but I am washing them properly when I do

Original poster
mintandcoral · 30/12/2025 23:01

youalright · 30/12/2025 22:59

Exactly

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Two for bacteria bay

OP posts:
youalright · 30/12/2025 22:59

UnusualOtter · 30/12/2025 22:59

I don't wash my hands after going to the loo at night, and don't necessarily flush. I wash my hands before eating and before food prep, and after coming in from outside.
When you think about it what have you actually touched that needs to be washed off when you do a wee? I don't wipe.my bits with my bare hands. I use enough paper that no wee is on my hands. I don't touch the seat with my hands.

Edited

Exactly