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Worried about the man I’ve been seeing

207 replies

whyisnothingsimple · 30/12/2025 13:43

I’ve been seeing someone for 17 months - long distance a 2hr drive away. I mainly go to him as we do a hobby together where he lives. We see one another every 2 weeks or so. Recently he has not replied to messages for several days . We both live alone and, apart from this hobby, doesn’t do much else - I have family very near. He hasn’t replied to my message on Saturday - messaged today to ask if he is ok - not read so tried to phone - again no reply so left a voice message asking him to let me know he’s ok. He would normally do the hobby this afternoon - I know someone who also attends at the same time - would it be unreasonable to contact her to ask if he is there? He hates drama as do I but I’m getting really worried - it could be that he’s just ghosting me and don’t want to involve others if that is the case.

OP posts:
fruitypancake · 13/04/2026 19:21

Just read your post and love the update

whyisnothingsimple · 13/04/2026 19:15

BridgetJonesV2 · 13/04/2026 18:52

That's a banging update, OP. Well done for knowing your own worth Flowers

I do know my own worth and the best thing is new man knows it too and isn’t afraid to tell me so

OP posts:
Thehop · 13/04/2026 18:55

Love this update OP

BridgetJonesV2 · 13/04/2026 18:52

That's a banging update, OP. Well done for knowing your own worth Flowers

AJLOAL · 13/04/2026 18:49

whyisnothingsimple · 13/04/2026 18:32

Just a quick update - twat did get in touch a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to visit to do our hobby - I told him that I had met someone local and everything is going very well. It’s the truth - I met someone a few weeks after it all kicked off with twat. His communication style is similar to mine, we laugh constantly and are having a lot of fun together - neither of us want a 24/7 relationship but he left this morning after a 3 night stay - so glad twat pushed me to finish things - you just never know what’s around the corner (literally)

So happy for you 😘

Tinsles · 13/04/2026 18:41

So delighted to read this.
What a great update.

It is so true that you need to create the space to meet someone nice, which you can't do if you continue filling your time with a twat.

Well done to you.
Best of luck.

whyisnothingsimple · 13/04/2026 18:32

Just a quick update - twat did get in touch a few weeks ago and asked if I wanted to visit to do our hobby - I told him that I had met someone local and everything is going very well. It’s the truth - I met someone a few weeks after it all kicked off with twat. His communication style is similar to mine, we laugh constantly and are having a lot of fun together - neither of us want a 24/7 relationship but he left this morning after a 3 night stay - so glad twat pushed me to finish things - you just never know what’s around the corner (literally)

OP posts:
Puffin69 · 04/01/2026 02:39

whyisnothingsimple · 30/12/2025 14:42

I’m 68 and have been single for 11 years but dating during that time - trust me - it makes no difference - men can behave badly no matter how old they are!

It isnt that. It is that most people have had a least one person in theor life have a fata heaet attack in their mid 60s.

Hmm1234 · 01/01/2026 21:45

whyisnothingsimple · 30/12/2025 13:43

I’ve been seeing someone for 17 months - long distance a 2hr drive away. I mainly go to him as we do a hobby together where he lives. We see one another every 2 weeks or so. Recently he has not replied to messages for several days . We both live alone and, apart from this hobby, doesn’t do much else - I have family very near. He hasn’t replied to my message on Saturday - messaged today to ask if he is ok - not read so tried to phone - again no reply so left a voice message asking him to let me know he’s ok. He would normally do the hobby this afternoon - I know someone who also attends at the same time - would it be unreasonable to contact her to ask if he is there? He hates drama as do I but I’m getting really worried - it could be that he’s just ghosting me and don’t want to involve others if that is the case.

Ghosting you just before New Year’s Eve! Means he has other plans

AJLOAL · 01/01/2026 18:49

murphys · 31/12/2025 07:09

I will link them, as absolutely yes, the gold standard in holding your head up high:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text
Part 1

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3835502-Dumped-by-text-part-2
Part 2

@whyisnothingsimple if you have not read these before, I hope these will help you a little today.

I wonder how RunninginRain is doing now.

YetAnotherWannabeWriter · 01/01/2026 11:10

MrsDoubtingMyself · 30/12/2025 14:01

If there are 2 ticks of whatever colour his phone is still charged. He's fine. He's ghosted you

2 grey ticks show received by the phone.
2 BLUE ticks show it's read @MrsDoubtingMyself

HipHopDontYouStop · 01/01/2026 07:00

Op, please ignore him. He’s so lame. He’s too far away anyway and sounds hard work.

Find someone who is really into you, interested in you and have some fun. And who doesn’t leave you wondering.

Springtimehere · 01/01/2026 06:13

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Stucknstoopit · 01/01/2026 02:53

Sorry duplicate posts, blame it on the millennium bug 25 years in the making

Stucknstoopit · 01/01/2026 02:52

He hates drama but is not averse to creating it…
whenever I’ve known a man go silent / off grid like that it’s always turned out to be one or both of the following reasons:
women or drugs , often at the same time

Stucknstoopit · 01/01/2026 02:52

He hates drama but is not averse to creating it…
whenever I’ve known a man go silent / off grid like that it’s always turned out to be one or both of the following reasons:
women or drugs , often at the same time

Stucknstoopit · 01/01/2026 02:52

He hates drama but is not averse to creating it…
whenever I’ve known a man go silent / off grid like that it’s always turned out to be one or both of the following reasons:
women or drugs , often at the same time

ArseEndOfChristmas · 01/01/2026 01:07

Middlemarch123 · 30/12/2025 18:21

I think you should absolutely tell him what you think @whyisnothingsimple .
I’m a year or two younger than you, and ended a similar relationship late summer. He played games, went quiet, etc. one day I woke up and it was like a switch had flicked, I just thought I’m getting too old for this shit. I ignored that he was ignoring me, and when he eventually got in touch after a couple of weeks I told him I’d taken the quiet time to think, and decided I wanted to be alone, and whatever we had was good, but we’d reached the end of the road, no hard feelings. He insisted on coming to mine to talk. He arrived, was greeted by my huge son and son in law who handed him a bin liner of his stuff that he had at mine, telling him I’d gone to stay with family in Wales. I blocked him, he’s still blocked. We have more years behind us than in front of us lovely, if we chose to spend time with anyone, then they need to be worth our effort. X

Excellent post!

Tamtim · 31/12/2025 23:44

What a prick.

Good for you, don’t look back. Life’s too short to deal with a man child with communication issues.

Hovisandgumshield · 31/12/2025 23:16

Well done OP, you deserve better than a twat like that. Onwards and upwards for 2026 💐

WorkItUpYourBangle · 31/12/2025 23:10

Sorry i arrived on the bus. I'm glad you've dumped him. Absolutely do not put up with that nonsense in your late 60s. You know better. I know better at 40. There really is no excuse and you're not going to find the love you're seeking in an arsehole that communicates poorly. There are men available that are wonderful and actually care deeply about the woman in their life. Onwards and upwards and here's to you in 2026 x