To not make my 3 year old wear underpants

32 replies

takethesebrokenwingsandlearntofly · 29/12/2025 23:29

Long time poster- relatively new name.

Background- I have a ND DS7 who alongside PDA / Autism and ADHD has a lot of associated sensory issues. So I am used to being flexible and differing from the norm for what works for my child.

DS3 has recently started a nursery which he attends on days he doesn't go to his childminder. DS potty trained early this year with no real issues BUT does not like pants. I've tried all styles, sizes and materials. He just hates wearing them. I have no issue at all with this. He bathes daily and wears fresh trousers or shorts daily as he's pretty messy and into everything.

New nursery have told me he has to wear pants, that it's a safeguarding issue.

I'm not against the reasoning, but I also am one to pick my battles in general as I have so many daily.

Is it unreasonable to refuse to force this issue with DS3. I think eventually - likely soon he will just start wearing them as he will want to. I can't imagine he will love his life commando, but frankly - if he did, it wouldn't concern me if he's clean, comfortable and happy!

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Hufflemuff · 29/12/2025 23:38

He needs to wear them. Its not optional. Its like saying he wont wear a school polo because of his needs. Its just one of those things you need to manage with him to get over.

I say that with love - i also have a child with similar issues, but you're not doing them favours by avoiding normal clothing at their request.

Original poster

takethesebrokenwingsandlearntofly · 29/12/2025 23:36

They know because he got wet playing in the garden and they had to help him change. He goes to the bathroom fine alone and washes hands etc so it took a term for them to realise.

Loose fitting boxers are a no as they bunch up in his trousers!

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GrooveArmada · 29/12/2025 23:36

They are correct, it is a safeguarding requirement and if you want him to attend, he'll need to wear underwear. It's not up for debate, OP.

They obviously know he isn't wearing any if they help him use the potty/toilet...not rocket science.

NuffSaidSam · 29/12/2025 23:35

How do they know he isn't wearing any underwear?

I think this is the issue. He's presumably wearing clothes that slip down or taking his trousers down. If he was sufficiently covered then they wouldn't know whether he was wearing pants or not.

Would he wear something cycle shorts under his trousers? Or swimming trunks?

NippyPete · 29/12/2025 23:34

If they feel it’s a safeguarding issue you’ll have to get him to comply or risk losing his place.

Hoardasurass · 29/12/2025 23:33

If nursery says he needs to wear underwear the he must when their.
Have you tried loose fitting boxers?

Original poster

takethesebrokenwingsandlearntofly · 29/12/2025 23:31

Still can't work out how to edit

*live his life commando

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