To be really annoyed i now don’t have a birthing partner?

SameOldMe · 2025-12-27T19:55:33+00:00

My mum was going to be my birthing partner, whilst partner looks after our 10 year old. I now have a date to be induced and she has said no she can’t she’s working that date ! So I have to do it alone, even though she offered in the first place so I haven’t asked anyone else and have very limited options. AIBU to feel upset and will I able to do it alone?

PerkyPinkZebra · 13/05/2026 20:19

Could a friend be with you? Or paid doula to support? Otherwise you'll be OK on your own the team will support you

Chainy · 02/01/2026 09:56

I was induced and really needed my husband there to go and get nurses for me, pass me things from my bag etc when I was hooked up to monitors. I then needed an emergency general anaesthetic and wasn’t awake for the birth so he was the one to hold her first and he had to get out the nappies, clothes etc for her. I also don’t remember waking up and I was sick so he was there to look after the baby through all that.

lots of people are telling you that you don’t need a birthing partner but I absolutely needed one.

Didntask · 01/01/2026 23:50

Blimey, I'd have loved to have had a decent excuse for NOT having anyone in the room with me 😅

Bumblebeehee · 01/01/2026 23:44

Why doesn’t your mum book annual leave for the time you are due? I’m sure any understanding line manager would be willing to let her take the time off given the circumstances.

Wowzel · 27/12/2025 22:30

When it looked like DH wasn't going to be able to make my induction i asked a work colleague/friend. She was absolutely thrilled!

Original poster

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 22:23

Peonies12 · 27/12/2025 21:15

Sorry but surely you know she has a job? She can’t keep weeks free. Likely induction will take a while anyway, she can try and get there after work

I guess If she knew she had commitments that couldn’t be changed at short notice then it would have better to know and for me to have a back up. Never once mentioned work being a problem, always don’t worry I’ll leave and I’ll get to you.

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me24x · 27/12/2025 22:21

Can she not book a day off work? That’s pretty awful tbh I’d be fuming

Original poster

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 22:18

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 27/12/2025 21:41

Were you expecting her to book the days off work? This would have been short notice

Edited

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Maybe I’m being unrealistic then - i can’t imagine offering to be a birthing partner if i was unable to get time off at short notice, because had i gone into labour naturally it could be even shorter notice

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OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 27/12/2025 21:41

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 21:05

Thanks everyone definitely feeling reassured but a bit upset with my mum.

Were you expecting her to book the days off work? This would have been short notice

Peonies12 · 27/12/2025 21:15

Sorry but surely you know she has a job? She can’t keep weeks free. Likely induction will take a while anyway, she can try and get there after work

Tammygirl12 · 27/12/2025 21:11

I gave birth second time alone as husband missed the birth by accident (late arriving). It was fine. Midwives are more useful than anyone else

RocketLollyPolly · 27/12/2025 21:09

If a friend asked me to be their birthing partner I’d see it as such an honour I’d cancel whatever else I was doing to be there.

Original poster

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 21:05

Thanks everyone definitely feeling reassured but a bit upset with my mum.

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Nonsense10 · 27/12/2025 20:34

I've given birth 4 times alone - it was fine! I just completely immersed myself, only had myself to think about. Just ask the midwives to take lots of photos 😊 I had an extremely detailed birth plan in case I wasn't able to advocate for myself.

MrsKateColumbo · 27/12/2025 20:33

The induction period was quite boring so I would defo download some stuff on an ipdad etc/bring lots of books

Im sure you will be fine and I did think I got more "you can do it" from thr midwife when I was on my own so hopefully this will be the same for you xx

Brandyb · 27/12/2025 20:31

I would be so honoured to be asked to be a birthing partner. Just saying in case there is someone else you think would be helpful. If they have kids but a partner at home it might be worth asking.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 27/12/2025 20:29

My induction took 34 hours and I was one of the quickest on the bay at the time. It’s very unlikely to be on the first day

Original poster

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 20:25

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/12/2025 20:21

Why don’t you ask friend to go with you? I had a queue of friends wanting to be there when I was dumped at 8 months pregnant

it’s very short notice, all my friends have their own families I kind of feel like I’m going to be putting them on the spot.

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Unexpectedlysinglemum · 27/12/2025 20:21

Why don’t you ask friend to go with you? I had a queue of friends wanting to be there when I was dumped at 8 months pregnant

Original poster

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 20:21

MrsKateColumbo · 27/12/2025 20:16

I spent 5 days being induced alone with dc1 (although DH was there for the actual moment) and subsequently gave birth alone with dc2 (well obvs the midwife was there).

Honestly it was actually fine, especially as I had done it already, tbh it was better not having any "civilians" there and only actual medical professionals as I didnt really find DH very helpful/mildly annoying the first time around.

Thank you i needed to hear this. Think the thought of going alone scares me.

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Original poster

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 20:16

catownerofthenorth · 27/12/2025 20:07

This isn’t her first baby, induction may only be a couple of hours. Yes op you absolutely can do it yourself. The midwives will support you and as you found birth partners are often more trouble than help! The midwives will be entirely focused on you.

Thank you do many people do it alone? I know will have midwifes but worried , my partner did try and help and support me first time but ultimately wasn’t able to, baby was crowning and he was out cold with his nose split open ! I can laugh about it now but at the time i was very stressful.

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MrsKateColumbo · 27/12/2025 20:16

I spent 5 days being induced alone with dc1 (although DH was there for the actual moment) and subsequently gave birth alone with dc2 (well obvs the midwife was there).

Honestly it was actually fine, especially as I had done it already, tbh it was better not having any "civilians" there and only actual medical professionals as I didnt really find DH very helpful/mildly annoying the first time around.

suburberphobe · 27/12/2025 20:10

Don't worry sweetheart, you will NEVER do it alone!

People in hospital will be there for you.

I gave birth squatting with 3 medical students , I gave my permission of course.

My husband -at the time - was holding me up.

Utterly amazing.

Original poster

SameOldMe · 27/12/2025 20:09

OrangeSlices998 · 27/12/2025 20:05

You’re unlikely to give birth the day you go in to be induced, does she have flexibility? Can a school friend help out?

Yes I can ask a school friend but I don’t ideally want to ask for more than one night. I thought when offering she would be a available at short notice , very surprised with a planned date she’s said she has to work.

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catownerofthenorth · 27/12/2025 20:07

This isn’t her first baby, induction may only be a couple of hours. Yes op you absolutely can do it yourself. The midwives will support you and as you found birth partners are often more trouble than help! The midwives will be entirely focused on you.