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Original poster

Feeling really let down...

318 replies

SpookyTeacup · 23/12/2025 17:58

Just been told by DH that I have no Christmas present this year as it hasn't arrived. I've got a feeling its exactly what I told him under no circumstances is he to buy me (sexy lingerie/nightwear) due to his reaction when I asked him if it was that - '.... no... why?'. I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I feel huge, disgusting and hate how much weight I've gained. I couldn't feel further from sexy if I tried. All I've asked for is a nice big pair of PJ bottoms that I can be comfortable in and will become part of my hospital bag. I'm dreading Christmas now because I feel like I'm going to end up crying the entire day, but also feel like I'm acting like a spoiled brat.

OP posts:
Hufflebuffs · 25/12/2025 08:53

That is totally shit @SpookyTeacup Please buy yourself the comfiest jammies you can find. Sending you Christmas love and all the best for you and your baby.

BookArt55 · 25/12/2025 08:50

Silvertulips · 24/12/2025 17:14

I would say it’s just a present - men do very little towards christmas and they need some guidance.

I know you feel unappreciated, which is why this is, so talk to him, tell him it’s not the lack of gift but the thoughtlessness of it.

You are carrying his baby and he needs to look after you so you have the energy to look after the baby.

She told him exactly what she wanted. There needed to be no thought on his part. One thing.
I understand that sometimes we may have high expectations that others can't meet. But I think her bar is extremely low as it is. To not get her anything at all is disrespectful.
I also think it is time that men weren't given these excuses as to why they don't need to adult.

PlateyKatey · 25/12/2025 08:46

Silvertulips · 24/12/2025 17:14

I would say it’s just a present - men do very little towards christmas and they need some guidance.

I know you feel unappreciated, which is why this is, so talk to him, tell him it’s not the lack of gift but the thoughtlessness of it.

You are carrying his baby and he needs to look after you so you have the energy to look after the baby.

Yikes! Decent men don’t need guidance and mothering.
Women shoulder enough responsibility when children arrive without having to be responsible for a shit husband too.

OP I’m sorry he’s like this. I hope you have a lovely day despite him, and maybe consider having some ducks in a row plans in place for the future.

CeeCeeDeeBee · 25/12/2025 08:45

I’m so sorry to read this. I hope you and your baby leave him and make a beautiful life together. You both deserve so much better.

carcioffi · 25/12/2025 08:39

I was convinced he was joking and would spoil you today so I’m flabbergasted you haven’t been given a present. Take the day off being his wife and do whatever you want to do to be happy.

tellmesomethingtrue · 25/12/2025 08:29

Im so sorry to read this. Your reaction sounds completely normal and he’s a shit. Don’t let him undermine how you feel. You absolutely deserve a Christmas present.

BookArt55 · 25/12/2025 08:29

I'm so sorry that he isn't being thoughtful and kind- basics, that is all you're asking for. Especially when he has made you cry, he could apologise and give you a hug at the very least.

You said he has been an arsehole since you've been pregnant. Acknowledge that. Sorry, my red flag hackles went up, my ex did the same and my pregnancy wasn't how I wanted because of his antics. I didn't feel supported, loved, he wasn't thoughtful- he did the same with no present also, and his behaviour continued to get worse. You've been through a lot with your IVF and fertility journey, you deserve a pair of pj's!!!!! Minimum! Go to your mum's this morning and try to enjoy your day. Remember, by next Christmas you will have the most amazing gift and will be full of love. You've got this.

Original poster
SpookyTeacup · 25/12/2025 08:21

Morning update: no present and when I got visibly upset he called me a little baby

OP posts:
themerchentofvenus · 24/12/2025 17:21

@SpookyTeacup I sincerely hope he has got you something to open tomorrow!! I would hide his presents and if he isn't forthcoming with a gift then I'd absolutely return his.

One Christmas my DH got me nothing. Not even anything from our 3 kids. When my parents asked what I'd got I felt so embarassed saying nothing. The ONLY gift I unwrapped was a can opener that my dad bought me as a joke as mine was utterly useless. As much as I loved watching the kids open their presents (that I sorted) I realised how little he actually cared about me. He has been skating on very thin ice ever since.

Verybritishproblems101 · 24/12/2025 17:19

The way he keeps laughing when you mention him going to the shops makes me think he has (hopefully) actually got you something and is for some reason trying to make you think it’s not come yet. I don’t know why people do this. If there’s no present then don’t give him his x

Silvertulips · 24/12/2025 17:14

I would say it’s just a present - men do very little towards christmas and they need some guidance.

I know you feel unappreciated, which is why this is, so talk to him, tell him it’s not the lack of gift but the thoughtlessness of it.

You are carrying his baby and he needs to look after you so you have the energy to look after the baby.

Original poster
SpookyTeacup · 24/12/2025 17:09

@Didimum do us all a favour and remove yourself from this thread. Your presence is very much unwanted. Go be a nasty bitch elsewhere 👍

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 24/12/2025 17:08

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There's a way to say that without being a nasty bitch. You failed.

Didimum · 24/12/2025 17:04

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Original poster
SpookyTeacup · 24/12/2025 16:59

Kick a woman when she's down, eh 🙃 my baby is an absolute miracle. I'm waiting on a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis and was told even with IVF I'd be lucky to have a 3% chance. This was my only surviving embryo. Anyone who questions her existence can seriously fuck right off.

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 24/12/2025 16:56

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That's it, dig the boot in. Do you feel better about yourself now?

As a lot of women discover, these men often don't show their true colours until pregnancy. It's quite a common issue, so maybe keep your sneering to yourself given she can't very well now return her very wanted baby, can she?

Celestialmoods · 24/12/2025 16:55

Get a refund for his present and treat yourself - unless he hands you his debit card and tells you to buy whatever you want online.

Didimum · 24/12/2025 16:53

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bigsoftcocks · 24/12/2025 16:51

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This is a really mean response. I mean why bother.

Original poster
SpookyTeacup · 24/12/2025 16:51

Also, he hasn't done this to me before but he's been nothing short of an arsehole lately

OP posts:
Original poster
SpookyTeacup · 24/12/2025 16:50

Family have just left. I did say to him before they got here that the shops are still open and he just laughed.

Definitely won't be getting his tomorrow and I feel like a right mug. Merry Christmas. Will head to the shops on boxing day and go treat myself to something nice.

@Didimum please keep your comments regarding my pregnancy to yourself. Infertility is not something to be poking fun at.

OP posts:
Didimum · 24/12/2025 10:40

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Brumchum · 24/12/2025 10:06

Return whatever you bought for him and treat yourself to whatever you want.

SilverPink · 24/12/2025 09:57

Is this normal behaviour for him? Because you’ve obviously been with him over 10 years now. It’s really not a normal relationship to be crying over your gifts on Christmas Day and going to your mums.

Okiedokie123 · 24/12/2025 01:43

I would also be annoyed at only one present. Why no chocolate/favourite indulgent food as a gift? Why no jewellery/perfume/new bag? A new book? A game / hobby item?
I would insist he goes out at 9am to buy you something (thoughtful, not just tat) even if it’s just from Tesco.
And I would hide his pc stuff in a cupboard!

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