Helped Dd with homework, teacher questioning her

I think there are serious issues here if your 7 year old’s teacher has frightened her so much that she didn’t feel comfortable telling her that her mum helped her do some colouring in when she was sick. That’s the part that alarms me the most and the part I’d most want to get to the bottom of with the teacher.

I imagine the teacher was struck by the discrepancy between your colouring and what dd produces in school - and that she would push dd more if she thought she was capable of better.
So it’s as well you let her know. I’m sure it will all be forgotten after Christmas and you can keep open communication about what dd can cope with.

Rosealea · Today 03:42
"The issue is repeated lying and dishonesty, not colouring in."

Give over .
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Personally think it’s crazy to give a 7 year old so much work to catch up with after illness. She’s 7, not 15 going into GCSEs. Also think it’s insane the teacher questioned the colouring skills like this.

Tbh my DS is in year 2 so the same age and one week he had only done one part of the optional challenges on his homework sheet, bearing in mind the sheets clearly say OPTIONAL. He usually would do all but we were very busy that week and he only managed one. The teacher found him in breakfast club and asked him to do another! I thought this was insane.

I think you are right that being direct with the teacher will, in the long run, protect dc better.

In any case, OP has said the report was good, so let's hope this teacher's bark is worse than her bite!

That's fair. I think there's a self-perpetuating problem going on here which is that OP is behaving as if she and her DD need to work together to fend off the teacher rather than just communicating directly with the teacher to say, "This was too much for my DD and so she has not completed the work.". But yes, of course we all take a big leap of faith when we send our tiny children to school and perhaps I didn't give that the weight it deserves.

OP, you need to make an appointment to see the headteacher. It seems there’s a bigger issue at play here, the amount of work being loaded onto 7yr olds is ridiculous. I expect you won’t be the only parent saying so, either.
Did she respond to your email?

I agree with much of this post - about op needing to be confident in her decisions, which is a good observation - but I disagree that the teacher has no power over op. Our dc are our soft underbelly, the part of us we care most about hurting, and the part we can do least to defend when they are not with us. The op feels afraid, not for herself per se, but for how the teacher might take it out on the child - and to be fair to op, it sounds as though this has already been happening to a degree.

There are so many wonderful teachers who thoroughly respect the position of trust and influence they occupy over very small people, and who deal with that sensitively, but it would be denying reality to pretend there isn't a small contingent who absolutely know they have a parent in a vulnerable situation on that front. My dc have been at a school with some very prominent parents, and, while some teachers are straightforward, professional and appropriate, a smaller proportion fawn and become obsequious, and a smaller proportion again rather like the fact they have the dc of X on a string - and the more prominent the parent, the more they enjoy that sensation! But it can happen in all schools where the teacher takes exception to a child or parent for some reason, and so I do sympathise with op to some extent.

could you arrange a meeting with the teacher & SEND coordinator (sorry if that’s the wrong terminology). It sounds like this will continue being an issue unless they acknowledge they are sending too much homework.

It sounds like you're a bit intimidated by the teacher as well, OP. I'd just take back a bit of control. I don't mean turn into a nightmare parent, I just mean be confident in decisions you make about DD's health when she's with you. She's not well enough to finish the homework? Send a note in or ask for a call with the teacher and explain that.

When you help your DD do her homework because she's not well enough yet to finish it herself, you're reinforcing the idea that the teacher is too scary to talk to - like so scary that even an adult can't talk to her. She might not be a particularly friendly teacher (and I think that's very sad for seven year olds who are only just transitioning from play into formal education) but she is not scary because she has no power over you.

Is the teacher aware your child is ND?

I'm also very surprised school sent work home for a child to 'catch up' after being ill... At our school this would only happen if the family had chosen to take their child out on a term time holiday, not if a child had missed a few days sick.

I am a teacher and had a colleague who definitely were scary, to everyone. She terrified the children and would bite other staff members' heads off if she didn't like them. She was actually psychotic and orchestrated ways to make other peoples' lives miserable in the most insidious ways, and yet knew how to put on an act for the parents and SMT. Scary in every aspect of the concept. Cold, uncaring, full of venom and yet also very cunning and serpentine in nature.

OP you keep referring to this 'colouring sheet' but I am wondering, was it one of those colour by numbers maths worksheets schools often dish out at Christmas where each square contains a sum and the kids have to do the sum to know what colour to use for the square?
Because I find it hard to believe the teacher sent a basic colouring in sheet home insistent a child needed to catch it up at home.

Was it actually a sheet of little maths practise sums where the colouring in was just an attempt to make maths a bit more fun?

How do you know the teacher isn't scary?

Don’t do your kids homework. If she can’t do it, write the teacher a quick note explaining why.

Next time I’d recommend that you write a letter to explain why the homework isn’t finished rather than doing the homework so your DD isn’t in this situation. I think you should own up & explain that your DD lied as she was worried about her & you getting into trouble as the teacher clearly knows. It all seems OTT from the teacher.

I wouldn’t have my child catch up on colouring. Complete waste of time!

I would say nothing, the child is already very worried about being in trouble, you need to have her back this time even if it was a fib. You really started it by helping her so she didn't get into trouble for not finishing it, she's clearly very anxious particularly about this teacher, don't make it any worse.

The teacher is scary to the child. I'm sure she's fine, but the child finds her scary, her opinion is valid. Were you never scared of a teacher? I remember being so very clearly.