To take son out of nursery?

Hi @NoSleepMum7 how is your situation now? What did you decide to do? In a similar position with nursery and bugs!

Kids pick up things in nursery playgroups school it is normal. Kids in groups one gets something it goes around it’s how kids also build immunity. It’s not because nursery is dirty if it was you would see that. It’s because they mix with more kids so catch more things that go around it will be the same when they start school. Normal.

Son has just started college and daughter went back to uni in different housing - they've both been ill constantly.

(Meanwhile I live in the germ pool that is early years and I haven't had so much as a cold in years 💀)

We removed my oldest for a couple of weeks last December when we had a newborn because I was so worried about him getting ill. Baby ended up hospitalised a few weeks later with a cold and it was awful, I had the same thoughts about removing him for good but we pushed through. Baby picks up everything his brother gets now but is usually ok/mild and we’re managing. We’ve gone for the chicken pox vaccine though.

All nurseries are the same!

It’s completely normal, I’m sorry to say! And tbh I’d say it’s only really easing up now that eldest is 10 😂. Some kids just get sick a lot, I definitely have two of that variety. Others seem more robust.

How well I remember this - vomiting bugs, stomach bugs, ear infections, back and forth to the GP, bottles of Calpol, a hot and listless toddler, on and on for weeks. It will pass, OP. Hard though it maybe, you will reap the rewards when your little boy goes yo school.

Do you think you're over sterilising so there's no chance to build up an immune system?

Totally normal. My youngest had HFM, chickenpox and viral gingivitis in his first year at nursery poor child, as well as usual colds.
I didn’t go to any childcare til playgroup at 3 as my mum was a SAHM and still had mumps and measles (pre vaccination programme).

It's par for the course op. They get sick a lot the first year and especially September through to March. But it does gradually build resilience. Ds has been in nursery since 11 months and the start was absolutely brutal like this for him, but now he's just turned 3 and he's actually rarely (touch wood) sick. We've only had one mild cold since Sept this year so I feel like that's set him up well for school and I'd rather he missed nursery with illness than school with illness. Id been well warned to expect this so wasn't too shocked but the one thing I didn't expect was that I was going to catch everything from him. It's a rough run but it's also building resilience in your littlest as well.

It’s part and parcel of life however, it’s the selfish parents that send in their children when they’re visibly unwell, d&v, high temperatures, dose the poor child up to send them in and infect another 10 or more children in the process which exacerbates the situation.

My ds was unwell a lot in his first year at nursery and I ended up hitting a trigger for absences at work. It did improve then, though, and he is never ill now. The last day off he had for sickness was in 2023.

I do think it’s worth relaxing about things like this. I know hygiene is important but it’s also important to live a normal life and nursery is a part of that.

Same with us OP, I feel sorry for my second who is 4 months and has had colds most of his life bless him. We’ve had chicken pox, HFM and countless colds / coughs over the last four months, it’s absolutely relentless and exhausting.

As tiring as it is having to manage ill toddlers and newborns, I’m just grateful I’m on maternity leave and not also having to deal with the stress of managing work while having childcare disrupted almost every week due to illness.

When my son got sick a few times almost back to back, she started ranting about how the soft play doesn't disinfect enough. I'm like "have you seen toddlers????" They put everything in their mouths, they're constantly covered in snot, you can't bleach a soft play or a nursery every hour. And most of these viruses are airborne anyway!

It’s hard but any group childcare setting is full
of viruses at this time of year. Including school, and you won’t be able to avoid that unless you homeschool. If it’s any consolation, DD had her first cold at 4 weeks, caught from DS who was at nursery and then had a succession but with no long term ill effects (she’s now 17). In fact, I think it helped her immune system because when she started nursery, she caught so much less than her older brother.

Nurseries at this time of year are full of illness - it won't matter which one you choose! To be honest, the rest of the year we rarely have children off sick. This year some of the illness spreading around has been caused by parents sending poorly children in masked with Calpol and the nursery don't know until the Calpol runs out at lunchtime. It's not fair on the child, the other children or the staff but unfortunately happens. HF&M is difficult because the NHS says no exclusion period for it - we made our own policy because it spreads like wildfire. Same with conjunctivitis. Sympathies - it's hard but really not the nurseries fault

Come on, dont be silly.

Wait till school starts and then you'll know about illnesses.

Pretty standard nursery stuff I'm afraid.

Mine doesn't go to nursery but we have a full time nanny who takes him to playdates and groups etc and he gets sick a lot too.

The week he got HFM is still the worst week of my life. He had it so, so badly, I can't describe it. Four of the kids in his regular playgroup ended up in hospital so I think it was a particularly horrible strain.

For the week before Christmas and before a big holiday, she keeps him off the indoor stuff and arranges playdates outside. So maybe keep him off so Christmas isn't ruined.

I just want to counter this comment "it's vital that your child goes through this" that viruses are far more harmful for kids when they're under five years old. For example, it's been shown that if a child has an ear infection when they're under 3 they're then significantly more likely to have repeat ear infections throughout their life - because the virus damages their ear while it's still forming.

It's even worse for babies - some very ordinary illnesses can be deadly for babies. Their skull hasn't closed so viruses travel to their brains way more easily.

Not that the very severe consequences are that likely - but it is way better for kids to get ill and built up immunity age 5 than when they're a toddler or a baby!

If you are very worried about your baby id keep the toddler off tbh - you're not going to stop the repeated illnesses with nurseries, they're all like it!

That’s just nursery but it really will settle down after he’s had the usual suspects. They don’t, in my experience, tend to get the same viruses as readily again (except obviously colds).

Ride it out and you’ll see that it settles down but illnesses are just one of those childhood things

I feel your pain as my dd started nursery September and it’s literally been no gap between virus’! Latest is chicken pox !

That seems fairly normal and nothing to worry about. I remember my own experience as I was what could only be described as "sickly child". I had virtually everything from common cold all the way to pneumonia and everything in-between. Constant doctors' appointments. As an adult, though, I am almost never ill.

And, as others have said, it’s actually pretty vital that your child goes through this. You need some exposure to these things in order to build up a better immune system. But it really is a horrible period!!!