Would it be really sad to buy myself an ‘engagement’ ring?

Did you get one, OP?
💍

Tell him this

Go for it. I bought myself a new wedding band last year as I have put on weight and the original one 19 years ago isn't fitting. So DH was fine with me buying one that does.

Did you go for it and get yourself a ring OP? ☺️

these posts make me sad becasue my husabnd would never think to buy me anyhitn like that. and honestly he is more stingy with money now than when we got married even. his frugality was a factor in me having a terribel breakdwon

I came on to this thread thinking that it would be sad especially if your boyfriend didn’t propose to you. This happened to someone I worked with - she bought her own “engagement” ring and they split up shortly afterwards.

But you’re married and you now have more money. Go for it!

I think you should tell your husband you want a pre Christmas day/afternoon out with him plus lunch etc and go and choose a shiny inexpensive ring together! That will be much better/more romantic than buying your own.

I chose my own original engagement ring as I didn't want anything classic or traditional so tbf to husband he wouldn't have been able to choose. It wasn't very expensive but it was the one I absolutely wanted.
What if you put money aside from the joint account and then asked him to order it for you? Would that work?

Have a look at the gemstone Moissanite.
in my opinion, eternity rings look the best, the smaller stone sizes are almost indistinguishable from a diamond.

If you’d like a solitaire, I’d go with round brilliant/old European cut and 1ct and under.

i can recommend Aladdins Cave on etsy (he does have his own website too). This jeweller uses titanium (as well as precious metals), which looks very similar to platinum/palladium, and won’t tarnish.

something like this:
https://aladdinscavejewelleryuk.com/products/old-european-cut-genuine-white-moissanite-engagement-ring-1ct-1-5ct-and-2ct-options?_pos=1&_sid=128ebf598&_ss=r

or

aladdinscavejewelleryuk.com/products/1ct-old-european-diamond-simulant-solitaire-ring-in-titanium-or-white-gold-engagement-ring-wedding-ring-handmade-ring?_pos=4&_sid=128ebf598&_ss=r

If you want inexpensive then try Luxe Emporium
they do inexpensive engagement type rings that don’t tarnish

Why don't you pick out several rings you like. Show your husband which they are, and ask him to pick one of the rings you like. He buys the ring, knowing you'll like it, and you'll get a surprise because you won't know which he's chosen! This is what my husband and I did, when I chose my engagement ring.

Pay lots.
Sit down with Hubby, choose a new wedding ring and engagement ring and buy it. If you have to pay monthly do that.
You absolutely deserve it. Buy him a new one at the same time. Go on a date, and use it as a renewal.

My proper wedding rings are too big for me now (must be the only person with shrinking fingers due to the aging process!)

I just buy myself nice Pandora rings, also means you don't have to worry about wearing them on holiday or taking them off in the shower etc.

Hopefully I'll get back to wearing my proper rings once arthritis kicks in!

Buy yourself a lovely ring!
It wont be an engagement ring so dont call it that.

I’ve voted YABU as you’ve said you don’t like your cheap ring and so you want to exchange it for… a cheap sparkly ring! What’s the point? Get a decent ring.

Speak to him then. I have a heavy platinum and gold (two metal) band and DH has the same. He offered to buy an engagement ring and I thought it was a bit old fashioned and misogynistic so I said no although we looked as well. As time goes on DH offers when I mention it (normally oh look someone has x ring) but I don’t like the feeling behind it.

you however would like a nice one so say hey DH I would really like an upgrade please can we go shopping this Christmas 🎅

Could you have the originals remodeled? So you're including the original metal and stone(s) into a new design?

What’s the point in buying gifts for each other if you don’t have your own personal money?

M&S do beautiful sparkly rings

Never wrong to buy yourself jewellery long as you can afford whatever it is. Plenty is cheap.

It's not unusual for people to upgrade their engagement rings later in marriage, when you can afford, or can just carry off something bolder. Or you could get an eternity ring if you wanted.

Enjoy it

I agree with what other people are saying. It's a piece of jewelry.
You're the one who's going to be wearing it, you know your finger size you know your preferences, there's nothing wrong with you buying it in fact, I think it would be kind of weird for someone else to buy you such a personal piece of jewelry anyway.
I think that engagement ring shopping or any other thing like this should be done with both people, you're just cutting out the middleman, well the man all together really, and going to buy it for yourself.
Nothing wrong with that

It’s just a ring! It doesn’t symbolise anything. Buy it and enjoy it.

As an aside, many of my friends no longer wear their engagement rings and a few have had their husbands ’upgrade’ them for an anniversary.

I don't see the point in replacing white gold and diamond (however 'cheap' you say it is) with silver and a fake stone. But it's your finger and your money!

Where do you keep seeing these beautiful, sparkly engagement rings? Is it social media? Because if so, you're better of doing a social media detox and then ask yourself if you really still want the ring? It couldn't easily be that the reason you're not happy with the rings you have, is because your are inundated with "beautiful, sparkly rings" that people keep showing off.

I love a big, sparkly ring. I also love semi-precious stones like amethyst and moonstone far more than diamonds and sapphires.

I don't have an engagement or wedding ring at all. DP and I had a civil partnership and i don't go in for all that men buying women rings stuff. I love changing my rings, i couldn't stick with one style all my life, esp if it was a boring white diamond! I've bought all of my rings for myself, i don't see why that would be seen as sad?

Talk to you husband about it first, though! It would be awful if it upset him, or if someone said something to him about it and he wasn't prepared.