DH always walks ahead of me. AIBU to refuse to go on walks with him?

Well I am genuinely happy that he makes you feel that secure.

He’s rejecting you by not walking at a pace you can manage. I had to start taking DH’s arm to stop him doing this.

Oh I hate this. I used to have this issue.

If it starts to annoy me I force him to hold hands and it solves the issue as we are forced to go at the same pace then!

It depends on whether he is walking for vigorous exercise, or walking to be in your company.

My DH is taller and fitter than me, and when this used to happen I would joke about being the "Indian wife" (based on a couple I saw every morning, walking along the seafront, her following several paces behind with her eyes downcast).

Nowadays, if he realises he's steaming ahead, he always turns and slows his pace so that we're alongside each other.

If your DH's goal is becoming fitter, though, this isn't so much of an option.

My husband does this even though he is not taller he has a faster pace and I always end up trailing behind. I don't enjoy having to run to keep up with him so we rarely go out for walks together. Even when we are supposedly out together we aren't so whats the point.

Mine does this. For a while I took to just stopping and looking in a shop window or some such, but the time he realised I was no longer behind him he was usually virtually out of sight and he'd ring me. I'd say 'well if you didn't walk off' or 'if you stayed by my side'....

It did actually make things better and he stays with me more now 😊😊

I'm guilty of walking ahead sometimes because its so annoying when other people dawdle and you have to walk slow because they won't pick up the pace. Obviously if someone is elderly, has a health condition or is a child then yes you should slow down.

Replying as a 6ft 2" female*

Yes, if you are tall, you probably have a longer stride. Pace is more personal, when walking alone I walk briskly.

You know what else I can and do chose to do? Slow down for anyone who cannot comfortably keep up with my pace.

Your partner could easily show that consideration for you OP, it is not difficult. He is ignoring your comfort.

when he’s walking beside me, he kind of lurches in towards me and nearly pushes me into the river or onto the road.

ARGH! That sounds awful! I'd mind that far more than vanishing into the distance!

Just seen your update.
Keeping fingers crossed for you and glad that he was reasonable about it.

So your husband ‘can’t help it’ (poor lamb) but you train your daughter child to walk at your pace.

Yet another example of different expectations for men vs women.

But he is moaning when she elects to not go for a walk with him. Is that a trait too?

DH does this, he’s a ‘destination’ walker (airports are stressy too). I really don’t think he can help it. Interestingly a while ago there was a thread on MN about autistic traits and walking ahead heavily featured! (I’m not saying your DH is autistic but I strongly suspect mine is for a number of other reasons). I’ve ‘trained’ DD to go on walks with me where we chat and nose at peoples houses/gardens etc

He's being ridiculous, selfish or controlling - or all three.
Sometimes I have to walk with my elderly parent. I can walk probably ten times as fast as they can but somehow I manage to walk at the same pace as them. Your DH can manage to do this too if he chooses to.

I think this thread has got sidetracked with leg length and Strava times.
He doesn’t want to walk with you.
It is one of the traits of autism.
I have one, airports are the worst

Exactly. So many fast walkers conveniently ignoring this.

Sorry if I missed this but how long have you been together? Has it always been the same? Weirdly I've read quite a bit about this after watching a video of a woman just stopping dead in the street as her partner kept walking ahead of her. There never seems to be much of an issue matching pace in the earlier days of a relationship.

I’m glad he’s had a realisation!! My dh used to do this a bit - I’m not running after my own husband to catch up so I would just stop, wait, admire gardens, enjoy my thoughts, and when the thoughtless man realised he would have to come back to me and we could recommence our walk. (I am not a slow walker, unless of course when pregnant) I think its only right to make him do all the work of catching up by coming back to meet me and will wait until he did. Like I said, he used to do it 😁

My advice ...hold hands , then you will both naturally adjust to a median speed. ...maybe ?! I also have this ' problem' as I am 6ft and very fit ( even at 69) and walk faster than my dw. When I want to walk for exercise I do it on my own but anytime dw and I walk together it is at a speed comfortable for both i.e. dw walks a tad faster , I walk a tad slower...but always together and holding hands...simples !

II don’t want to hurt your feelings! But my OH used to do this when I was fatter and didn’t take much care about my appearance - I wasn’t slower (I checked my Strava) I lost weight and now spend a lot more time on my appearance. I am conventionally attractive, I am not big headed but I know that I am and as such I do get a few men that look at me while we’re out together (I scowl at them if I see it because they’re usually with their wives 🤮 I should point out that I’m not a massive fan of men) My OH commented on it a couple if times and now he walks right next to me. Funny that isn’t it? I know it’s depressing, I know it might not be in any way what your husband is like but it is true for me. If you think it could be in any way something your husband would do then it a very easy theory to test.

And it’s toxic that I know about it but stay with him is what I meant.

DP does the walking ahead thing. He starts out ok, especially if he’s yammering away about something he’s interested in. Then he gets faster and faster and I just let him get on with it. It used to upset me, but I don’t think he realises he’s doing it. He does have ADHD though and when he’s walking beside me, he kind of lurches in towards me and nearly pushes me into the river or onto the road. So I reckon I’m safer with him walking on ahead🤣 I just bring my headphones and listen to something until he stops and we walk together again. This usually happens a few times in one walk.