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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH always walks ahead of me. AIBU to refuse to go on walks with him?

259 replies

Biffatcrafts · 30/11/2025 09:23

I'm really am not sure if I am being unreasonable here or not, so please tell me if I am. And I know this is pretty stupid and small in the scale of things, but it's causing tension between my DH and I.

My DH is taller than me by quite a bit (I'm 5'1" and he is 6') so whenever we go for a walk together even if we start out side by side he always seems to stride ahead of me. It gets to the point where I feel like anyone looking at us would think we weren't actually together so great is the distance between us.

It usually gets to the point where I either have to accept that we are effectively walking separately, or I end up having to half jog in an effort to catch up and then keep a really high half jogging pace to stay beside him.

I'm 64, and whilst I am fit and healthy and capable of keeping this pace up, it's not something I want to be doing when on what is supposed to be a relaxing stroll together. (I should add here it also happens if we are just going for a walk around town window shopping, or going shopping too. In fact on any kind of activity which involves walking.)

His reply when I ask him to slow down is that he is simply walking at his normal pace, and that it happens because his legs are so much longer than mine. I can see his point, but I do feel like a little kid running after a parent sometimes.

It's driving me mad, and now I feel like what is the point of going for walks together if he isn't actually going to walk with me? He is super fit, and I do know that if he is on his own he walks very fast (he records his solo walks on Strava and I can see the distances he walks and the pace he maintains).

I've said I am happy to walk a bit faster, but that he needs to walk a bit slower too, and he has tried, but somehow he always seems to speed up and ends up ahead of me again. It's getting to the stage where I've now refused to go for walks with him because I just can't see the point if we end up walking separately. But he is upset about it and feels I am being unfair (and rejecting him) by not wanting to do this activity together.

So am I ...
YANBU to not want to do these walks with him?
YABU - I should just jog on and try and keep up!

Also, do other DHs out there do this too, and if so what have you done / said to resolve it?

OP posts:
Parker231 · 30/11/2025 09:41

It’s rude - if you’re out together, you match your strike.

Walkacrossthesand · 30/11/2025 09:40

It’s right there in the OP, @EleanorReally - he says it’s his natural pace and he doesn’t want to walk any slower. The OP can’t walk any faster without breaking into a jog - if you can jog, @Biffatcrafts, why don’t you make your point by donning running gear & trainers for the next ‘walk’ - when he’s 🥴 you simply say you’ll have to run to keep up with him because he won’t slow down. Sometimes, we have to walk more slowly than we’d like to, because the person we’re with, can’t walk fast. The choice is his - either he slows down, or you don’t go with him or you call it going for a run .

Daleksatemyshed · 30/11/2025 09:38

I don't walk with my DP much anymore for the same reason Op, if I hold his hand I have to make him stop while I get my breath back. A stroll is lovely but a route march is no fun, I like to enjoy the scenery. It's unfair for him to complain you won't walk with him if he won't slow down fo you.

99victoria · 30/11/2025 09:33

My OH does this too - same situation- he's 8 inches taller than me.
I make him hold hands when we're out walking so he has to walk at my pace 😂

FinallyHere · 30/11/2025 09:33

While I understand the practical issues about length of legs, I wouldn’t want to go out walking with someone like that.

The pleasure for me walking together is to talk as we go along. I have some great companions for walking. They comes in all sizes and shapes and we just naturally match our strides because we are engaged and listing to each other.

Are you talking as you walk?

RosesAndHellebores · 30/11/2025 09:32

DH does this. He's not so bad on a walk for the sake of a walk on a scenic route, but he's a bloody nightmare if we are in London together where he ducks and weaves through crowds and across roads. There may have been words and on occasion I've been tempted to peel off and donsomething else to teach him a lesson/give him a shock but he knows I can look after myself.

EleanorReally · 30/11/2025 09:31

what is his response when you ask him to slow down?

Rafting2022 · 30/11/2025 09:30

I’m a fast walker and find it difficult to slow my pace to match others. That’s why I joined a walking club where everyone can walk at their own pace.

StrangePaint · 30/11/2025 09:27

I see why you’re annoyed, obviously. but I’m only five foot five and I find walking at a slower pace than my natural one weirdly tiring and difficult. Obviously, I do my best to adjust and will just suck it up if shopping or something in a city, but I would never go on a second long country walk with someone whose natural pace is slower than mine, as it wrecks everyone’s pleasure in it.