DH always walks ahead of me. AIBU to refuse to go on walks with him?

I totally get you, and my DH used to do this - was apparently unable to slow down.

Just to warn you, we did try the arm-in-arm approach and he would regularly walk me straight into puddles or wipe me off on lampposts. So I called a halt to our walks, we both walk on our own. No recriminations or rancor, I just say “I’m sorry I can’t walk with you for reasons previously explained. “

He's being very selfish, OP. DH and I have a similar mismatch in size and he always walks behind me so that he's not obstructing my view!

I have the same problem with my DP and we are both 5 8",so not sure that height or leg length is a factor. Admittedly, I've always been a bit of a stroller; I like to look at everything and people watch whilst I'm walking. My OP just always walks at speed; even if he's going from the living room to the kitchen,he walks as if his arse is on fire.
When it's just me and him,I don't mind it too much as I just enjoy the environment and peacefulness. What really annoys me though, is when we go out with my and/or his, son,as his son obviously wants to interact with him,and my son wants to walk with his "step" brother,so it ends up with me being well behind,and the 2 boys running to keep up with my DP.
I understand that everyone has their own pace,but to say that you can't adapt in order to walk in time with your partner or family,is just ridiculous to me.

I saw a reel once about narcissism and they often stride ahead… they only count. Perhaps a bit excessive for a comment, just saying. And, haven’t read all the thread

Surely you went on walks with him BEFORE you married him? Or is this a religious "cultural" thing? Genuine questions btw...

We like to walk together - look around the shops

My other half does this all of the time so I taught him a lesson when we were in town one weekend . I had asked him 5/6 times to at least try and make it look like we were together,he didn't so I walked off at a 90° angle down a side street and left him to it !

What a bunch of bollocks.

My DH can do this. After a while of talking and explaining I decided that seeing as he wasn’t changing his pace just slightly for me - whereas he’ll happily slow right down for his mum or dad that I would take the call him out approach. So if he strides off I shout out “see you later” or something similar. Or if we’re out shopping etc I peel off into a shop and he can come back to find me. I have been know to just go home too. I have my keys so leave him to it. He can manage to stay at my pace once hes a bit ahead of me so it’s just fucking rude. He doesn’t like that approach so then his legs miraculously manage to slow down.

This is why men and women just aren't suited to doing stuff together. It's up there with mooching round department stores. Once you free your mind from thinking you have to do these things together, you will see so many activities differently.

My dh often walks faster so I catch up and take his hand. It slows him down without him realising.
A few years ago we went for a ramble with another couple. The lads were chatting in front and gradually picked up the pace. This left me with the woman who was striding along, talking at me, not chatting with me. I struggle to walk quite so fast due to health, but can walk all day at my pace. After trying to keep up I decided enough was enough. I enjoy a walk and chat but not being talked at non-stop. I just slowed to my pace and realised the woman was still talking, hadn't noticed I wasn't beside her for at least 5 minutes. My dh did apologise for not realising earlier that I had been left behind!
I now go out with a walking group once a week. I'm actually one of the faster ones and enjoy a conversation whilst walking. We stop regularly, group up again and make sure everyone has a chance to catch their breath before we start off again. We never get so far ahead that we lose sight of each other. The only time we lost anyone was when our local PC joined us for our walk. She was right place, right time to head off into the woods to find someone they had been searching for. Because she found him she couldn't rejoin us. We walked back that way just in case she was trying to catch up, as we didn't know whether she had found the missing person. It was a good decision for her to join our walk that day.

Occasionally of course fast walkers can slow down and in shops etc but when going for an enjoyable walk why should one person's pace dictate the others to the extent that the faster walker can no longer enjoy the walk in the same way as they would. Having a naturally faster paced walk or a naturally slower paced walk is exactly that, its your natural stride. So to adjust it is unnatural but on occasion can be done. It all depends how frequently this woman wants to walk with her husband as her needs dont trump his. Its a compromise.

habits can be rude.

My husband does it too. We have 2 dogs and he marches on in front with one whilst I lag behind. I have arthritis and try to walk as fast as possible. I pull him up for it, he stops doing it for a minute or so then it happens again. We pass multiple couples on our walks who are side by side which I point out to him. I just think its rude, but also has became a habit.

Either they can help it or they can’t. If they can’t help it, like you say, then it doesn’t matter that it’s a different situation- they can’t help it. If they can help it, then the woman they are walking with just doesn’t matter enough, since I think you’re assuming their child will matter enough.

YADNBU, OP, it’s taken me nearly 5 years to get my DH to slow down. In the end, I stopped trying to keep up, then just turned and walked home.

I also won’t respond to him if he tries to speak to me while he is ahead of me, citing traffic noise preventing me from hearing him and pointing out that if he were next to me, I might be able to hear…

You’re just being ridiculous now. That is a completely different situation.

But it’s not tricky. If he wanted to, he would. Literally all there is to it

This is a tricky one as he does appear to consistently have a faster pace than you, so would have to maintain an unnatural speed (just as you would) to match each other.
My Dad had a bad habit of walking 10ft ahead of my Mum but never got any further away, so now she has to start walking first - the difference was literally that she sped up gradually at the start of a walk but he moved at full speed from his first step!

And I say this as a 5’5” woman married to a 6’2” man who wouldn’t dream of ever being so rude

Agreed it’s ’these small things.’

Does it bother you? Yes. That’s all that matters. He needs to try to listen and accommodate.

It's rude. And I've never met a woman who does this, only men.

I'm short, and I'm a slow walker. I also have friends shorter than me, who walk more slowly than me. When we go for a walk i do not walk ahead.

Can anyone imagine doing this to a friend?
Exactly.

YANBU my husband always gets ahead. Not because of being wildly taller, he just does… then if his family or my family are visiting, I walk with them and he often walks ahead. I think it’s rude and he’s missing conversation. I would think it’s rude if I were them as well. He says the pavement isn’t big enough to walk together. He also does it when it’s the 2 of us. I find it annoying!

And that’s fabulous. And also nothing to do with OP’s situation. Sounded like OP wanted to know what we thought of her DH doing that, and if how it makes her feel is unreasonable - which imo, is not.

It’s these seemingly ‘small’ things that kill relationships

Yes. My husband was the same for bloody decades. Then he hurt his knee and had to walk slowly but I didn't wait for him as in all our years together he'd never slowed down for me whatever the reason I couldn't keep up. He hated it. He always thought galloping off without me was hilarious. It wasn't. It was humiliating and unpleasant. Like you, I couldn't see the point in us going out for a walk together if we weren't together on the walk. I told him many times over the years that I didn't like it but I think he thought I was exaggerating or joking. Then we had a massive fall out over something else and I told him exactly what I thought of that and leaving me behind when out walking. He hasn't done it for a few years now and if he did, I would turn around and walk in the opposite direction. It's really rude and childish imo. For people saying they can't walk more slowly to accommodate slower companions, if it was someone with a mobility problem or a child, or even a dog, would you be unable to walk with them at a slower pace?