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AIBU?

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Original poster

OH wants to take kids to MIL's on Xmas Day after lunch & leave me home alone?

389 replies

snowhunny · 28/11/2025 13:14

Basically I do all the Xmas shopping for the kids, decorating and I make Xmas dinner for everyone.

OH has just dropped it on me that he wants to take the kids to MIL's after dinner.

I am not invited.
I just don't think this is very fair or nice.

MIL is a strange woman, she has never visited us.

Every time a DC has been born we have had to take the baby to her house to meet DC.

She has never bought the kids anything for Xmas or birthdays.

Previously I would buy her Xmas and birthday presents from the kids but I won't be doing that again as I find the effort very one sided.

It's not that we don't get on, she is just a lazy woman.

AIBU to feel annoyed that why should her get the privilege of spending time with my kids when I am the one who puts all the effort in to ensure they have a good Xmas Day?

I would prefer he takes them on Boxing Day.

OP posts:
SparklyBrickViper · 28/11/2025 13:26

This is bat shit crazy.

Surely the response is “enjoy dinner with your mother, the children and I will enjoy our dinner here”.

JudgeBread · 28/11/2025 13:23

MoFadaCromulent · 28/11/2025 13:21

Impossible to answer without hearing the other side

I'd love to know what "other side" would make it acceptable to invite one parent and the children on Christmas Day but exclude the other parent and expect them to stay home alone.

QuickBrown · 28/11/2025 13:23

The difficulty is that OH might not realise how strange her behaviour is. I'd explain that Christmas is a family day and therefore unless you are all invited you expect him to decline. If she's welcome to come to you, say that. It sounds as if OH hasn't really taken your (perfectly reasonable) feelings into account. Is there anyone else, perhaps his sibling, who can explain it to him in words he will understand?

Original poster
snowhunny · 28/11/2025 13:22

And DC don't even like going there.

He is only really doing it for his own reasons like saying "It's every mothers dream to see her grand kids on Xmas Day."

The kids will open their presents and be happy and then be dragged into the car and will probably cry and they go to his mum's for them just to be sat their listening to them talk.

OP posts:
MoFadaCromulent · 28/11/2025 13:21

Impossible to answer without hearing the other side

shhblackbag · 28/11/2025 13:21

snowhunny · 28/11/2025 13:18

I have just told him he is better of making alternative arrangements for his Xmas dinner and the presents that I buy will only be signed from mummy.

I do all the shopping and he will throw in some money but it's not the point, I put all the time and effort in.

What did he say? Some men are actually unbelievable.

fatphalange · 28/11/2025 13:21

Do you have the other thread about the weird MIL who never buys presents despite happily receiving them?
I’d not want to go tbh she doesn’t sound great company. See if he will compromise for Boxing Day, if not then put your feet up after the rush of Christmas lunch/presents/general Christmas Day mayhem and enjoy a mince pie or chocolates and a bit of quiet.

ContinuewithGoogle · 28/11/2025 13:20

he wants to take the kids to MIL's after dinner.
I am not invited.

ahem. No.

if he wants to see MIL, he can go. You are spending Christmas with your kids.
You could be serving frozen pizza to your kids on Christmas day (defrosted, you have to be careful on MN, some people eat frozen food apparently)
you can still send Christmas Day with your own children if you want to!

He can either stay home with the kids, or leave the kids and see MIL.
he doesn't get to take them away from you.

bitterexwife · 28/11/2025 13:19

I honestly can’t understand why he’s entertaining this at all.

Matronic6 · 28/11/2025 13:19

I'd say no to that. No way would I be doing all the prep and organising to be excluded in the afternoon. If you are feeling generous, I would say if she wants to spend time with the family on Christmas she is very welcome to come round at some point but you are spending the day with your children.

Original poster
snowhunny · 28/11/2025 13:18

I have just told him he is better of making alternative arrangements for his Xmas dinner and the presents that I buy will only be signed from mummy.

I do all the shopping and he will throw in some money but it's not the point, I put all the time and effort in.

OP posts:
Oneborneverydecade · 28/11/2025 13:16

It would be a definite no from me. I probably wouldn't agree to Boxing Day either tbh.

DeathStare · 28/11/2025 13:16

This should be an absolute hard no. Your DH is being completely unreasonable. He shouldn't have even asked you - it should have been an obvious hard no.

Oneborneverydecade · 28/11/2025 13:16

How has he tried to justify it?

Will he listen if you say no?