Daughter struggling at uni. What to do?

Student services are often very good for things like dyslexia and definitely for signposting to resources .
also worth checking out the uni library, as some places have student support services embedded there for dyslexia support, and others just have self help sections and help with referencing software

My eldest DD is severely dyslexic, we paid for a LindaMoodBell trained cognitive tutor to give her the tools to succeed despite her dyslexia, she got a 1st at St Andrews and a 1st at UVA for her masters in a humanities course, she’s presented at academic conferences and is working on a PhD proposal.

i highly advise a lindamoodbell trained therapist. Antidepressants ain’t going to make a lick of difference.

Good luck

maybe after Christmas and once the exams are over things will seem a bit clearer

also , lots of places have a Refreshers fate and a second batch of new international students come January which is an opportunity to join societies etc and get your tribe with other new people

It is also perfectly possible to struggle a bit at uni and feel out of your depth in any or all of life admin, socialising, academic work , or keeping on top of housework without being ND

Definitely speak to learning support/disability unit. The tutor is powerless in this situation. You need to speak to the people who do all the admin and systems behind the scenes for sure.

But she had problems making friends? Or perceived that she did?

And current thinking is all the D’s go together.

Ds was diagnosed dyslexic and 7, but showed definite dyspraxia. Diagnosed dyspraxia at 9/10 and ADHD at 30.

It sounds like she's neurodivergent. My dd is too and she took a year out. I think it really helped her. She's also in first year but because she's old for the year and she took a year out, she's 20 now. I would see if she can get a job for a year maybe and try again next year. Its also pot-luck who they end up sharing with in halls. She might find she clicks more with some other housemates next year.

Dyslexia is a type of neuro divergence itself. If you think she displays other symptoms, it may be worth getting her to explore how getting a diagnosis has helped others and the impact of it being delayed. I wasn't diagnosed as AuDHD till 30s and I really wish I had known when I was younger. It will also help with the support she can get at Uni and they can help support with getting a diagnosis, making it easier than for non-students.

Is she ND?

Its not too late to have adjustments applied. Tell her to get a referral via her tutor

She may just not be ready for uni. My friend's son had 2 false starts at 2 different unis and 2 different courses, then took a year out and is now very happy in his new course and uni as an older student. He just felt really pressured into going to uni by his school after A levels (not his parents) and it wasn't the right time.

Does she want to leave and go back next year? Uni does not suit everyone. I wonder would she be better doing an apprentice instead.

I'm an academic. It is not too late to have her dyslexia taken into account in the vast majority of institutions. She needs to speak to disability support and her programme team. For coursework it will be a note to the marker and possibly extensions on deadlines. Exams she may get extra time. But she needs to sort it this week as uni is winding down for Xmas.

Even if they can't action it for this specific coursework she needs to ensure they have it registered so that it is taken into account in the summer exam board. E.g. if she fails a module it can often be condoned if there is evidence on file that would mean there was justification to ignore that mark. But asking retrospectively doesn't work.

I was a similar boat to your daughter. I withdrew and applied for a more local course the following year. It was the best decision I could have made. I never would have finished my degree if I had tried to carry on. Yes it's frustrating having to pay an extra year loan but it is better than trying to push through and ending up not finishing.

One thing to note though - if she drops out now, she'll likely still owe accomodation till the end of the year but won't get her loan. If she can stick it out, it's probably best to apply for UCAS in Jan but finish this year where she is. That way you aren't left with an upfront bill without help to pay it. Worth checking her tenancy agreement before you make any decisions.

There will be a welfare team as part of the student union - might be helpful to speak to them. Also course tutor? Get as much advice/support as poss whilst u make a plan. Drop out , have a gap year and re-start? Plenty do. Good luck x

She sounds very like my youngest, who is Autistic. We found that semi-commuting was the best way to cope, staying in halls for the days they had lectures, coming home when they had none, and obviously coming home each weekend to decompress.

Deferring for a year may be a good idea, and then get as much mentoring and support in place when she restarts next year. Communicating with the university is vital, tell them exactly what you have told us, they will provide all kinds of support to help her graduate and enjoy her time at uni.

I'm guessing you're in Scotland, so she won't be the only 17. Without doubt, she won't be the only lonely one.
Would she ask a friend back home to dinner with you? Just as a start.
Do a part time job-even a few hours would get her about and meeting people.
Do any sort of volunteering- the S U could probably help with that.
It's tempting to say, 'Come home and try again later,' but not if she hasn't a plan in place for at home. We made this mistake with dd re. a failed gap year- she was so homesick in the first couple of months, but coming back just added in a sense of failure to the mix. She says now we should have made her stay.
Dd is also dyslexic and didn't get adjustments in place till 2nd year, but it worked out ok.
Good luck to both of you, it's such a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't dilemma.