To think women should think more carefully about giving children father's last name?

My SIL’s husband did. They got married and changed their names and their kid name to double barrelled (kid was born with his surname only). That said he didn’t have the best childhood and is pretty low contact with his side of the family maybe that’s why.

Of course not, silly! The man's name is statistically likely to be better in every way. Don't confuse yourself thinking about his sisters or any such nonsense!

I didn’t change my name when married, my DC has my DH last name. The only reason is I carry my F’s name and I’ve never even met him so to me made no sense to insist on our DC having the family name of a family that isn’t part of our lives in any shape or form.
ETA didn’t double barrel as both last names are super long and would have been beyond ridiculous sounding

And yet oddly their brothers don't choose to take their wives names to ditch their terrible last name when they marry. The new wife takes the name as well.

Then it isn't your DH's name either, it's his fathers name.

Yes. It's an old fashioned and outdated tradition. I gave DD my surname even though I was in a relationship at the time.

@Usernamenotfound1 my Spanish friend’s son has his dads surname, she said it’s a bit regional as to naming habits. Same in other parts of Europe

I was happy to take my husbands surname as my surname still belonged to a man originally- just that it was my father's. I would much rather us have my husbands surname who is kind, gentle and provides for us than someone who doesn’t ever check in and see how we are. I felt no loyalty at all to my maiden name but feel proud to be married to my husband and have chosen him as father to my children.

I kept my own name, our children have my surname. They have H's surname as a second middle name.

How likely is it for 2 people with double barrelled names to become a couple in the first place considering the vast majority of people only have one last name and usually, just their fathers?

If it was to happen then they would simply need to make a choice like everyone does when they get married and have DC.

Threads like this boggle my mind. It's the 21st century.

Feminism is about choice and equality. I look forward to the day that 50% of couples decide that the woman's name is nicer/rarer/more unique/less embarrassing/of equal value/worthy of being the family name etc.

Or that double barrelling is OK.

💐for the OP

For me personally, I don't like double barreled names. What happens when 2 people with double barrelled names marry? Do they end up with four surnames or do they need to chose two to drop? How is that choice made? How would someone feel if they had a child shortly after losing both parents, could they decide which parents name gets dropped or would they feel the need to continue with both and end up giving their child a ridiculously long name?
I don't feel a strong attachment to my maiden name, my DH weren't all that bothered about his either so we just went with tradition.

This was actually a situation my friend was in. She really liked her last name, and held on to it, but her husband made her change it when they had their baby so they were a "family".

His name was so boring and run of the mill, and really she was very upset about it.

I know and asking permission from the father.

I am very priviledged to be living in a time that I can live as a childless single woman and not be considered a candidate for witchcraft.

This is progress.

Can you blame them? Their names are better than ours!

I really like this question, because it highlights this weirdness of "taking someones name".

I decided that if I got married I wouldn't change my name, simply because thats my name and my mum had such a fit over it and came out with all this "but you will have a different name from your children...." it made me want to keep it more.

I haven't got married (suprise surprise) but my friends have such an array of last names from doubled barreled to new names, but none of their husbands ever changed their names. Some have different names on their ID to their professional registrations its all such a mess.

I wouldn't get married again if the first one didn't work out. To be honest I'd probably just stay single

No who gives two shits

It's sadly so often the way. Men just have better names than women. We should face up to facts.

Women should only be having children with men they know are a good person - the name wont change that.

i am adopted so have had several names over the years so maybe I dont have the same attachment as people who still have thier birth name but it is just a name.DH has his dads name but his mum never married so has a different name and his half sister has her dads name. I wanted us to all have the same surname to link us as a famiy but didnt care which name.

Call your child whatever you want but dont inflict your opinion on everyone else! It doesnt have to be one or the other for everyone to so the same. Dads name, mums name, double barrelled, merged together or even a completely new name! Who cares apart from the parents.