To think women should think more carefully about giving children father's last name?

To men, you mean, but never to women?
Why should a man's attachment to his lineage trump a woman's?
The only reason I suggested choosing a new name is because I know that some people do have an issue with their birth name (absent/ deadbeat father, abusive mother, ridiculous or unpronounceable name).....

Well in my case it was easier than my maiden name so I was glad to be rid of it but I was always going to change my name when we got married. I'm not a massive traditionalist but it just seemed like a normal thing to do, all of my female friends have done the same.

I don't care what other people do, change your name, don't change it, double barrel it.

If I were in a relationship where I hadn't changed my name and had kids I would potentially double barrel theirs if the names worked together. If I was single and ended up pregnant then the child would take my name.

All four of us have the same surname, we are a family unit and I like that we are linked, especially me and the kids. In the event of a divorce or after 20 years my husband turns out to be a mass murderer then we might want to change our names but it never occured to me not to change it just incase it happened.

There are many things I wouldn't do that other people do but it's their life. I'm not going to sit and point the finger if something goes tits up and say they should have done it my way. Nobody can predict the future, all we can do is the right thing for us at the current time.

No they don’t, they take one name from each parent.

You know to some people, their lineage is important.

This is absolutely what I came here to say.
The first step is not taking your husband's name!
If you want to change your name ( for example to distance yourself from your own parents) then choose a name you like that goes with your given name......if your husband is so worried about the family having the same name then he can change his.

Yes, some of the Spanish make a good attempt at holding as many for a couple generations, but inevitably the names get dropped.

It might be the case that the woman has insisted on it for those reasons; it doesnt change the fact that we've had hundreds of years where it hasn't been the case so it still appears as if there was conflict.

Yup, its going to get ridiculous 😂

My maiden name was one of the most common in the UK (top five, definitely). My husband’s name is one of the least common in the UK - fewer than 400 adults have it. For us, it was a choice between the anonymity of my name - which is useful at times - or the scarcity of his - which is also useful at times - and I liked his name better, so there we are. I hope my DDs would keep our name because it is so unusual (and actually quite beautiful, I think), but it’s their right to choose.

I know lots of couples who have double barrelled on marriage (both man and woman), and I also know a man who changed his name to his wife’s because his surname was embarrassing and he said he was sick of it and was glad of a reason to switch!

That might be the case now, but it wasnt why women didn't use the father's surname in the past. It wasnt feminism, it was denial by the father and it left women in precarious situations.

The Spanish system doesn't really solve the problem - only the paternal part of each double barreled name is carried on by the subsequent generation.

Or, you know, that the woman is a feminist who doesn’t believe in patriarchal power dynamics.

That’s not something that would occur to you?

Like the OP, as well as us both double-barrelling, I’m also a Ms and would never be a Mrs; well not whilst all men, married or not, are referred to as Mr. Ms does not allude to my marital status, just like a mans title doesn’t his. Equality, innit?!

OP it's interesting that you double barreled to get around this. But your DD won't be able to do the same will she? Or she'd(or your GC) end up triple or quadruple barreled.

That was tradition because the dad wouldnt show up and sign the papers! Not because the woman wanted it that way.

I have his name. That shows that they attended the registry together in harmony. Having a child in their mother's name shows that either she wouldnt allow the dad there, or he wouldnt come and admit paternity. Women in the past desperately wanted their children to be acknowledged by the father and his family. The father would not through shame.

Yeah I've thought that before but I'm more detached from my FIL so only really know it as my husband's last name.

My kids have my name, which I am never going to change for anyone. The end.

And before anyone starts, I was with their dad for 10 years before the first one was born and we are still together now.

Tradition is that children take the mothers name, if she happens to have married and taken her husband's name then so be it.

Fwiw, my parents never married. I have my dad's surname. My mum would never have considered anything else... she didn't want to marry him (or anyone, she never has).

No I assume that an unmarried mother with kids in her name had discord with their father around marriage or even the birth of the baby. I assume that he wouldnt show up to the registry, or she wouldnt let him due to some sort of argument they have. From experience, that argument is usually around marriage and that she wants it and he doesnt.

I especially think that about groups of people who literally suggest keeping the kids in the mum's name as a direct response to a refusal of marriage.