To consider Only Fans

I would have been horrified if my DM had done this to pay for me to go to uni.

Yes, same. I’d have definitely been happy to put more into the household finances to prevent that happening even if it meant taking on some extra shifts.

I would have been horrified if my DM had done this to pay for me to go to uni.

As one is in their last year, you only need to hang on until next June.
Then you'll only be supporting 2.

I would absolutely ask for a bit more food money from all 3. Tell the two uni students that as soon as their degrees are finished they need to be fully self sufficient.

You've done so much and so well don't sell yourself now.

OP, I also think OF would not help your situation.

Look into online surveys? I (a single adult) manage to earn 1k a year.

Honestly, I think you are so stressed about money that you have lost your actual mind. Of course you shouldn’t do Only Fans so your adult kids don’t have to contribute. You would make absolute peanuts, if anything, your FWB would have a load of videos of you to do what he liked with, your friends and colleagues would almost certainly find out and your kids would feel like utter dicks that their mum is doing sex work so they can Netflix and chill. Your eldest, in particular, shouldn’t have to carry that.

Your salary is decent

Your student dc should have around £6K loan each as a living at home with household income of £40k
£500 each a month is not bad when you aren’t paying bills or food
The bar worker one doing 3 nights a week is likely earning £600-800 on top
THEY CAN AND MUST CONTRIBUTE

You can work with a 1in4 weekend commitment - I do it myself (as I also have 2 uni age dc and I get it isn’t cheap - my London dc only gets a few hundred more for living away from home in London than yours get for living at home). Lots of supermarkets and fast food chains have 8-12 hour contracts. Care homes will take people on short shifts in the evenings. I’m not saying you should, I’m saying you can. FWB can help you get there. Ultimately you could do with moving to somewhere with much better transport links for everyone’s benefit but not realistic atm.

Your eldest should be able to pick up a lot of the slack at home which will allow the other 3 adults to work a bit more. You need to work as a team rather than you do everything.

I really like the dog sitting idea. Dog walking is a huge commitment but having someone over a few nights leaves you a lot more flexibility. I have paid SIXTY pounds for my boy to sleepover as he is too precious for kennels and is scared of other dogs so he goes to a “hotel” where he is the only pet - no resident pets, no other guests.

If you could have a dog 4 nights a month at £30 plus your eldest contributes say, £70 a week and the students £40 a week then you would have £180ish a week which would more than cover everyone’s food. Without the dog is would be £150. A dog 10 nights a month would be £300 and with 4 adults in the house you could probably manage.

You need a family meeting with a grown up discussion on budgets and expectations with your grown up family. Unless they are absolutely horrible it’s very very likely that they would much rather hand over 4-6 hours wages a week each than literally let their mum prostitute herself to buy food. You are prioritising them having a nice relaxing time over eating and your own unmanageable stress. I suspect you have had to work so incredibly hard trying to make up for them having a shit dad that you never want to put any stress on them but it’s beyond what is appropriate now.

This is a great post!

What's stopping your kids from taking out student loans like everyone else?

What’s stopping you from reading the thread to see they’ve already done that? While I don’t disagree regarding the sex work, the sly comments regarding her children are not helpful.

OP, if you think OF is such a good way to make some extra money easily, why don't you ask your kids to open OF accounts? 🙃

On a more serious note, if you have university age kids yet you only did your own degree five years ago or so, then surely your pay will still go up in the next few years - in one of the posts you said you are only five years post-grad.

And do you really want to jeopardise your hard-earned career by selling pics and videos of yourself on the internet? What if your manager or colleagues or customers came across them - could it have negative consequences? That university degree won't help if people think you have bad judgment and embarrassing pics on the internet.

OP, I can empathise, and it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job by your three kids - they are lucky to have you.

Have you considered the virtual assistant route? I know several ex-colleagues making a good wage as a VA - fully remote and flexible, booking travel and accommodation, etc for their clients. Not sure if that’s of interest?

Haven’t read the whole thread but some second income ideas: cleaning, pet sitting, ironing clothes. Could any of those work OP?

This is exactly what I was trying to work out. The at home loan teamed with their part time wage should mean they are self sustaining, if not contributing?

How much money do the kids have to spend on themselves? They are adults and it would be immoral for them to have “spending money” when you are struggling to feed them and considering OF.

Please sit down with them and explain they have to contribute more. It won’t be a comfortable conversation but it would be far worse if they found out you’d done OF whilst they spent on take away, coffee or clothes

😆😆

Also - not sure why you keep going on about your degree. You've got a well paid job, the work experience you've got is worth far, far more than the degree you did years ago.

Well let’s see, is it possible she’s trying to explain how hard she’s worked to get her current job and raise her salary? So, what you could say is something helpful or supportive. Or…. nothing at all. The second is preferable if the first is out of reach for you right now.

Ignore them OP. Somebody that’s trying to make someone’s life, who is in a difficult situation harder, is not somebody you should interact with.

I’d say your comment is the cop-out, but then realised it was probably quite a bit of effort for you.

@WishinAndHopin This is great advice.

Good luck, @Daydreamnotbeliever

Before I answer, I just want to acknowledge your achievement of gaining a degree and a new career as a mature student and single mum. £40,000 is a good salary, it's just not enough to support three extra adults.

YABU. Nothing good can come for you from Only Fans. The only people who earn money are either Z-listers, or beautiful 20-somethings with many thousands of social media followers. There is very little market for faceless, middle-aged porn.

Even for those who are successful, a lot of their earnings come from girls signing up via their referrals, like an MLM. Also they have to work incredibly hard at marketing themselves and attracting punters and keeping them engaged. It's time-consuming, draining work. The obligation will negatively affect your sex drive. You've already acknowledged that it will upset your partner.

You are also being unreasonable in not expecting your adult children to pay their way - not even for food. If you only need a few hundred extra per month to get by, then that's only an extra ~£20 per week per adult in the house, including your eldest, or ~£25 each if you don't include him. You can do this!

Alternatives to Only Fans:

1. Cleaning
2. Picking up dog poo from people's gardens
3. Walking dogs
4. Babysitting
5. Tutoring in your degree subject (this is at least £20/hour, more when you're experienced)
6. Pet-sitting cats, dogs, other animals.

For any of the above, advertise your services locally on Facebook. You set your own hours, so you can work 3/4 weekends, or evenings.

Other ideas are joining Cat in a Flat app for cat sitting, and Rover for dog walking and sitting. Joining the User Testing site/app for $5 here and there. Sell unwanted items on eBay and Vinted.

Remember, £20 each equates to only 1-2 hours of work each, maybe less if you find something good! All of this will take you far less time and energy than Only Fans.

As for your eldest, most people are refused PIP on the first go. They reject you knowing that most people don't have the energy to appeal. You have to just keep trying. I know someone in a wheelchair with a feeding tube and autism, and even she was rejected on her first attempt. Other people have only got PIP after three or four tries.

You must try again with the PIP application, and your son must make efforts to seek help, even if only because every document will be evidence for PIP (you don't need a diagnosis, just evidence of symptoms).

You also have to fill in the questions and word them in a certain way, to make sure you're gaining maximum points. Check how to fill in your claim form - Citizens Advice Make the effort to fill the form in properly as advised on this link, as your eldest getting on PIP would solve all your problems.

Good luck with everything, this is within your grasp.

Ok.

Yeah, I don't know. I've also never been on OnlyFans myself, but I just read once about someone doing a weight loss journey and having a following that way. I think the same article said there were hobbyist accounts too.

This is a really good idea!

Oh yes, I absolutely agree, it's fascinating, and the details can be amazing.
My point is that I don't know how much of a money spinner it could be on Only Fans for the OP? Perhaps you're right, I've no idea, I thought it was just adult content.

Ancestry, if you have a paid subscription, is absolutely incredible. You can practically see into your ancestors' underwear drawers, with all the information available on there. I have a great-great-grandfather who disappeared on the Somme, and I found all the letters that his mother wrote to the Red Cross trying to locate him, and their replies. I found records of his possessions that were found. AND, in the National Archives, which are online, I found his commander's account of exactly what happened the night he disappeared. You can also see your ancestor's addresses on the census forms, and have fun looking up the houses on Google maps to see if they're still there, and see inside if they have sold in the last few years on Rightmove. And the amount of info on the 1911 and 1921 census forms is amazing.

Who knows if you could turn this into an income stream? Worth a go!

If the OP has experience of dogs, this could be a good idea. Getting dog boarding and day care where we are is really difficult. This could potentially be offered on weekends when the OP isn’t working.

That's not what I'm asking. It certainly sounds creative, I'm just wondering if people would pay to watch that kind of content.
I'm personally interested in ancestry, but everything I've watched has been on YouTube, and free.

It's called being creative. There are/have been TV shows where people watch others' ancestry being explored, so why not personalise it on OnlyFans? And years ago there was This Is Your Life on TV. I wasn't saying it would definitely work, I was saying give it a go. After all, people watch people watching TV, right? (Gogglebox.)