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Original poster

AIBU to be considering moving home from the USA to the UK

88 replies

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 20:11

I am getting pressure from my parents to move back to the UK. She is lonely and complaining that the kids don't know who she is. I am finding myself looking at options.

We are a family of 4 DD1 is 3 DD2 is 6. We moved here 12 years ago and set up a good life. We have a home, a weekend home. We shoot, fish, ride ATV's, and in general are outside the majority of the time. I don't know if we could do that in the UK anymore.

DH has a good job here equivalent of £85k, however in the UK he would get £50k, assuming he could get a job. I currently don't work but I am assuming I would have to if we moved back.

If we sold houses cars etc, we would be coming back with £500k and a 20ft shipping container. I don't know if we could get a decent house for that.

DD2 has spent a total of 12 weeks in the UK visiting family, DD1 obviously less. The UK is a foreign country to them.

Both countries are declining fast so I don't think we will be better in the UK

I don't know if this is a non starter, and I should just grow some balls and tell my mother it's not happening.

OP posts:
BernardButlersBra · 13/11/2025 23:22

Why couldn’t you go outside in the UK? It was a balmy 18 where l am today which is warm for England in November

WorriedDogMum87 · 13/11/2025 23:16

Don’t move back you have a nice lifestyle where you are but if you do decide to move to the uk then declutter most of your stuff

Wednesdaysotherchild · 13/11/2025 23:14

Stay in the US, leave our dwindling wildlife alone please!

Ciribiner · 13/11/2025 23:00

fishtank12345 · 13/11/2025 21:19

This is your answer.

Show quote history

Agree. I can't think for the life of me why you'd leave the life you have now for the shit hole the UK has become.

It will feel incredibly overcrowded if you value your space. I'd swap with you at the drop of a hat.

HearMeOutt · 13/11/2025 22:50

Didn’t you post this EXACT same thread a couple of months back?

blunderbuss12 · 13/11/2025 22:48

JazzyBBBG · 13/11/2025 22:30

I mean we've both got our own shitshow going on so....
That said you will not get your outdoors living here to the standard you have there unless you buy a farm in Wales or something.

Yes I think this is the fairest answer. While UK is a 'freer' country, and you're less likely to be murdered or die in a car accident here than in Maine (all easy to verify stats), the specific type of life you are living over there would be very hard to replicate here.

CommanderTaggart · 13/11/2025 22:35

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 13/11/2025 22:20

It won’t though. I live in rural area, you are looking at over a million for same lifestyle as you have there. Land is £8000+ an acre.

Show quote history

Yes well the exact rural area is key, right? You might be on the shores of Lake Windermere, whereas I could be in the South Wales Valleys.

The area I actually know is along the Welsh borders. You could get something very nice in Cheshire or Shropshire for that money.

Not saying it will match the lifestyle they have in the US, but they would be able to find a nice place to live, and that’s without a mortgage. With a mortgage they could double their budget.

JazzyBBBG · 13/11/2025 22:30

I mean we've both got our own shitshow going on so....
That said you will not get your outdoors living here to the standard you have there unless you buy a farm in Wales or something.

CommanderTaggart · 13/11/2025 22:30

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 22:23

My family are in Surrey. DH's work is Nuclear Power, so is limited to where we can go

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Ooh go to Anglesey! There are new mini reactors being built there. It’s a gorgeous place and you'll find some lovely property for that money. It was home to Wills and Kate early in their marriage. Lovely countryside and beaches.

Or Scotland of course, but quite far from Surrey …

jjeoreo · 13/11/2025 22:27

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 20:11

I am getting pressure from my parents to move back to the UK. She is lonely and complaining that the kids don't know who she is. I am finding myself looking at options.

We are a family of 4 DD1 is 3 DD2 is 6. We moved here 12 years ago and set up a good life. We have a home, a weekend home. We shoot, fish, ride ATV's, and in general are outside the majority of the time. I don't know if we could do that in the UK anymore.

DH has a good job here equivalent of £85k, however in the UK he would get £50k, assuming he could get a job. I currently don't work but I am assuming I would have to if we moved back.

If we sold houses cars etc, we would be coming back with £500k and a 20ft shipping container. I don't know if we could get a decent house for that.

DD2 has spent a total of 12 weeks in the UK visiting family, DD1 obviously less. The UK is a foreign country to them.

Both countries are declining fast so I don't think we will be better in the UK

I don't know if this is a non starter, and I should just grow some balls and tell my mother it's not happening.

Wow your life sounds ace. Id be in the "grow some balls" camp.

Greenfinch7 · 13/11/2025 22:26

"We shoot, fish, ride ATV's, and in general are outside the majority of the time. I don't know if we could do that in the UK anymore."

You might not have quite as many opportunities to kill wildlife in the UK- not sure.

rogueherries · 13/11/2025 22:24

To be seriously considering this is absolute madness.

Original poster
MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 22:24

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 13/11/2025 22:20

It won’t though. I live in rural area, you are looking at over a million for same lifestyle as you have there. Land is £8000+ an acre.

Show quote history

😱 we have 130 acres here!

OP posts:
Original poster
MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 22:23

readingmakesmehappy · 13/11/2025 22:15

Which part of the UK would you be moving back to? There are parts of Scotland where you could live a similar kind of life, though whether you’d be able to get work there is another matter

My family are in Surrey. DH's work is Nuclear Power, so is limited to where we can go

OP posts:
Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 13/11/2025 22:20

CommanderTaggart · 13/11/2025 21:01

There was a thread on here yesterday by somebody asking the same about moving from the UK to the US. Mixed opinions but voting showed a clear consensus that she was mad to consider it.

In your case, I think a move back to the UK could work out very well for you, if you (and perhaps your children) can adapt to the change in lifestyle. If you have plenty of savings after having worked and earned well in the US you may find life in the UK more affordable than those of us who have been here all along!

ETA: Have just reread your post and taken on board the money. For £500k you can buy a very nice house in most rural areas of the Uk. If won’t get you much in London though, or other expensive places like Oxford or Cambridge or many other leafy places in the South.
If you were to look at the rest of the country though that will get you a lovely home in most areas.

Edited

It won’t though. I live in rural area, you are looking at over a million for same lifestyle as you have there. Land is £8000+ an acre.

readingmakesmehappy · 13/11/2025 22:15

Which part of the UK would you be moving back to? There are parts of Scotland where you could live a similar kind of life, though whether you’d be able to get work there is another matter

Swiftie1878 · 13/11/2025 22:12

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 21:00

@dammit88 he wants to stay in the US he thinks moving back to the UK would be a backward step

Then stay!
Moving back for someone else is not a good idea, and you’ll just end up resenting her and/or each other.
You sound happy and settled, so why come back?

TheNameWasOnceChosen · 13/11/2025 22:12

My sister lives in the states (Texas) and has done for 34 years. She loves it even though her children now live here (24&29).

fishtank12345 · 13/11/2025 21:20

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 20:52

@mindutopia Thanks for the insight. Safety isn't something I am currently concerned about. Is it a issue in the UK?

Yes... I would move away from the UK if I had the chance. Sadly I don't.

Wethers121 · 13/11/2025 21:20

Why would you consider disrupting your happy family life for your Mum, when she won’t consider moving to the US?

How can she ask that of you but not even consider it herself? Unless, she has other family members to consider too?

Either way, I wouldn’t move back to the UK for that reason alone.

fishtank12345 · 13/11/2025 21:19

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 21:00

@dammit88 he wants to stay in the US he thinks moving back to the UK would be a backward step

This is your answer.

fishtank12345 · 13/11/2025 21:18

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 20:48

No she has no interest

Show quote history

You can not move here just for one person in my opinion, what happens when your mum is no longer around? Will you be happy to stay? You have a settled life already. What does your husband think?

ItsAWonderfulLifeforMe · 13/11/2025 21:14

Where abouts in the UK is your mum? (I guess you want to live pretty close by). House prices vary hugely, where I live in SE 500k will get you a small 3bed semi near a good school..

wantam · 13/11/2025 21:10

Do you WANT to return, or do you feel guilt and obligation to your parents?

If the latter, think it through again and don't knee jerk into it. If deep down you don't really want to return, well that's your answer.

Have parents visited you in the US? Could they go over for longer periods ( may be still working).

Don't base your decision on feelings about your parents, make the decision based on your gut, your family and your DH's feelings too. It's not your parents' lives and futures.

Trump will be gone before the girls go to high school.

That's all there is to it really.

Periperi2025 · 13/11/2025 21:08

MaineRedneck · 13/11/2025 20:59

@Periperi2025 we are in Maine, it's a large fairly uninhabited state. We are way out in the woods.

Why wouldn't you want to raise daughters here out of interest?

Because in a little over a decade they will be young women with an ever decreasing amount of agency over their own body/fertility. I wouldn't want to be a women of reproductive age in much of the USA.

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