Does this teacher sound mean?

The teacher isn't being mean, YABU to be upset about this minor issue.

Plenty have already said that the teacher sounds fine and keen to ensure a positive learning environment which is a good thing. Remember too that children are terrible witnesses so half of this likely didn’t happen at all like how she’s telling it.

It's like mobiles in secondary.
Keeping until the end of the day is no deterrent as they shouldn't have it out in school anyway. So keep overnight when they do want to use it.

Op. Just don't let her take things into school. Your life will be much easier, nothing getting confiscated, list, broken, stolen, swapped.

I can totally understand why your little girl was upset, OP. These things seem insignificant to us but if we remember our early childhood, they are big events for a youngster.

Teachers sometimes have to make a decisions very quickly and especially if they are trying to get children to understand rules. It’s really not personal, although your daughter might feel a bit persecuted. Reassure her that the teacher has to be strict about some things and that she’d do the same with anyone, Tell her to go to school tomorrow with a big smile, work hard and ask very politely for her stamper at the end of the day. She’ll be fine as king as you don’t encourage her to see it as a personal matter - it’s just a little mistake.

'The teacher is mean' is a pretty childish way of looking at it. Some teachers are stricter than others and you and your daughter will have to get used to that. It's not 'being mean'. The stamper was a distraction. The teacher removed it because the boy messing was messing about with it. Yes, it's unfortunate that it turned out not to be his, but your dd's, but if the teacher's standard practice is to take away until the following day a toy that's being played with during lesson time, then that's what she'll do. Lesson learned - don't hand your toys around in school. She'll have it back tomorrow- it's hardly a huge deal.

FFS ...

Yes it sounds awful and I'm sure it happened exactly as your 5 year old described. Remove her from the school and try to get the teacher fired for these dreadful misdemeanors. Oh and contact The Sun too, you could have a sad face photo and article entitled 'Our Stamper Hell'.

The only harsh part was not returning the stamper at the end of the day.

Believe me things like stampers, gel pens, different erasers, keyrings cause no end of fuss in a classroom more so than a cuddly toy. Young children only need their reading book, diary and water bottle anything else should be kept at home. If they need a reminder draw a little heart on their thumb or pop a little note in their lunchbox to know you are ‘with them and thinking of them’.

Gentle discipline isn't mean, it's just normal isn't it?. It doesn't sound unreasonable to take something that isn't allowed and give it back after a day. Your daughter will just have to wait. Life lesson.

Screaming and shouting at the child would be unreasonable.

Just comfort her and learn: Don't take stuff to school. Especially stuff that you'll be sad to lose or not see for a while.

A. It's obviously against the rules of the school by the sounds of it.

B. Risk of never seeing that thing again
My kids were always taking stuff in their bags and things get taken, swapped, dropped and lost forever.

Ps. Thread number 94467 as to why I could NEVER cope with be a teacher 😂

While trying to teach them maths

So you didn't think she should ever be given any consequences? It's one day and to be honest if she's in floods of tears over this I suspect most of that is because she knows she wasn't following the rules rather than the fact the teacher has kept her stamper for one day.

This teacher hasn't been mean though. If this is something you consider mean then yes school life is likely to be a challenge for you and your daughter.

Have you actually spoken to the teacher to ask what really happened?

Or have you already made your mind up that the teacher is "mean"?????

Because if you’re going to get this upset over something very minor, there’ll be a whole load of angst for you over the coming years.

Honestly @Stoptheworldiwanttogetoffit and I have had little patience with some teachers, your dd broke the rules and helped disrupt learning for other children. This wasted the teacher's time. Your dd needs to learn to follow the rules and accept the consequences when she doesn't.

Put it like this. School starts at 8.30 and finishes at 3.30. (I'm using times rounded to the half hour). 420 minutes

I once worked out that with all the sitting down, registers, coats on and off, breaks, assembly, lunch, etc. Perhaps 3 20 monite whole clase learning activities, circle time, close the day, etc. Took about 300 minutes. That left 120 minutes for individual learning/interactions - 4 minutes per child and I suspect that's generous. I hope that puts it in perspective for you.

It is essential that everyone follows the rules to maximise learning which is what they go to school for.

Please don't let your dd grow up to be that first jobber who thinks the conditions of employment and getting the job done, don't apply to her and ventires hurt feelings and anxiety if she's given clear expectations,.or just managed.

You need to suppprt the teacher here.

Do the other children with toys pass them round the class during work times or do they keep them in their trays or book bags? Though actually it’s not just about passing them around, some small children often don’t really understand that if you lend something to someone it gets given back, it’s not yours to keep, plus things do get “lost” or broken which can also be upsetting. Stampers can be a nightmare, children can get carried away, don’t always realise that some things are NOt for stamping ( reading books, table tops, other children, work books, whiteboards….). Toys need to stay at home. Makes everything much clearer.

Your dd also needs to learn that just because other children do something it doesn’t mean she has to follow suit, this will be a useful lesson to remind her of when she is nine and wants a smartphone, or fifteen and wants to have a boyfriend to stay over, or 16 and wants a party with alcohol🙂.

Your kid broke the rules and didn’t like the teacher taking something she shouldn’t have brought into school from her.

You are not helping your child in any way build resilience. Nothing the teacher did was bad or wrong and frankly you are getting thr story through a child. YABVU.

It depends on what others in the class are allowed to bring in but it doesn't sound fair to me. Some literally allow bags of stuff. Cuddly toys, fidget toys, all sorts of crap. Ask what their rules are regarding stuff from home.

Really, when children bring things in from home it's annoying because they got lost, broken, cause squabbles and distractions. Teacher is right to take them away but should give them back at the end of the day.

I'd have probably given it back at the end of the day as I'm a softie but they shouldn't be bringing random things into school. Multiply that by 30 children and it's carnage. It's a stamper- she'll have forgotten about it by tomorrow.

Parents like this are why so many of the older kids I teach are spoiled and can’t take no for an answer.

I’m a teacher and I think it sounds a bit harsh. But it’s always really difficult to work out what’s actually gone on in this kind of situation. I’d comfort your daughter for now, probably not bring it up with the teacher, but keep an eye on it just in case it turns out the teacher is overly harsh and it emerges as a pattern. This is unlikely to be the case though! So give your daughter a big cuddle and try not to give it much more thought.

Stationery makes it much more annoying than toys that are recognisable as toys that can be easily put away for lessons. When you give your children distracting toys disguised as stationery, they think they have the right to fiddle with it and discuss it when they’re meant to be working, because it’s a bit of stationery.

The teacher has done nothing wrong. It’s a shame that parents can’t be more supportive of her trying to create an environment that their children can focus in.