Devastated over not being invited on group holiday

I have already said to the group that I wouldn’t mind going and my ex being there, we are co-parenting well etc. but apparently he doesn’t share that sentiment and thinks it would be odd in the context of a group couples trip.

I agree with your ex husband. It would be weird to go away on holiday as if nothing had happened. Awkward for everyone.

I don’t see why you can’t go with them on your own though. He can do stuff with them in his own too. Even numbers aren’t mandatory.

This is SUCH a weird (and gross) attitude. Bizarre.

Personally, I don't give a shiny shit if my friends are single, coupled, married, divorced... what matters to me is that they are my mates.

I love to hang out with them - either one on one or with others, significant or not - and I want to be there for them when the times are good and also when the chips are down. That's life and that's what friends are for.

sounds like it's more some women projecting than anything else.

I actually don't agree that people view a single woman as a threat. Why would they ?

All the many women posting here, telling of our experience of this, have imagined our own life experience then?

It is obvious why they view the now single woman as a threat - they worry their husbands will try and have a crack at them, which in my experience many do.

Ive seen this happen a lot in divorces I'm sorry to say OP. You may find yourself having to find another friendship group.

As they already seemed to have picked a side (he said he doesn't want it to happen, so it's not happening) I'd get prepared for next year when he and his new girlfriend will be invited, but not you.

It sucks but it's frighteningly common.

This is a joke, right?

This is SUCH a weird (and gross) attitude. Bizarre.

Personally, I don't give a shiny shit if my friends are single, coupled, married, divorced... what matters to me is that they are my mates.

I love to hang out with them - either one on one or with others, significant or not - and I want to be there for them when the times are good and also when the chips are down. That's life and that's what friends are for.

Maybe people should stop treating each other like that then? Not least because it's ridiculous.

This was one of the worst things about divorce. I gave up after a few months, and joined other social groups, one of which was a fell walking club. Ex decided to join the same group, I protested, so he said he would only go on the walks I didn't attend, but he joined with some of his lady friends (teachers at the same school as him) who did go on the same walks as me, and tried to harass me for some reason, insisting on walking with me and complaining that I wasn't being friendly! It was bizarre, at one point, on an occasion where we had a dinner at a hotel after the walk which included the use of a spa and showers, I was in a changing room trying to remain pleasant and sociable with a woman who had been one of his sexual partners while we were married. I felt as though I had been dropped into the plot of a novel, and did wonder about writing one myself, but found I was too busy with having a lovely life after divorce 🤣

All this scoffing about singles upsetting the balance I do get but a friend holidayed in a couples group and she invited her single friend. Who shagged one of the married men. Marriage over/ devastated teens/ divorce. Now friend has to spend half the holiday with him and kids then second half with the wife and the kids. The single friend is no longer invited.

Exactly.

It’s always an eye-opener when formerly marrieds find out how their solo friends have been treated all these years.

Everyone thinks “that will never be me…” until suddenly it is.

You can’t expect to go on a couples holiday when you’re not part of a couple. Someone from each couple would have to take time away from their partner to spend time with you. I get it. I’m single. I don’t get invited to things that revolve around couples. It’s fine! I just arrange women only events which are great fun. You’ve probably never had to think about how single women are treated socially before. I guess it can be a bit of an eye opener if you’ve always been part of a couple. But honestly, you can’t expect to go on a couple holiday.

I think that since it's a couple's trip, then they want to keep it a couple's trip.

You need to make friends with women who are now single and have trips with them.
A single person on a couple's rip would be weird for many people. Maybe that is how the couples in this case feel.
More than a marriage ends with a divorce.

Nah. Couples holidays are not for newly divorced people still in the "I'm so cool with it all" phase of the divorce, or for any single people. Her couples friends are not her group therapy and are entitled to enjoy their holiday free of her stresses and without trying to painfully pretend it's not super weird now.

Being honest and realistic is always far better than faux outrage and melt downs, I find.

It's no big deal. OP can find some single friends to pal around with, or organise a girls holiday and not try to gooseberry in on a couples group.

Not everything is for everyone.

C'est la vie.

I said that it’s the other way round - it’s the men sniffing around the single woman. Slow down and read properly.

Why is the ex so hard to resist women cant control themselves and throw themselves at men every time they walk past they cant revisit him

Is this a serious idea that you do to women or men when you habe a chance? Can you not resist single men? Which is why you came up with the idea?