Husband going through bin for cat food

me too

The cat is telling you he's hungry, that's the best guide for your DH. I'd ask him outrightly in his heart of hearts he thinks the cat is full or if he's ekeing it out to save money. Pets are expensive but cutting corners on the basic necessity of food isn't fair. He wouldn't like it if he was forced to have tiny meals across the day that never left him feeling sated.

This is so extreme, is it the result of trauma or are people genuinely this miserly?!

Actually, I get it. I don't like getting catfood on my hands. Don't like the smell and even after I have washed my hands it still feels ick for ages. Not sure why as other meat doesn't bother me.

If it bugs you just don’t feed the cat, let him do it

do you think you want the rest of your life to be like this? I think you should really think hard about it because I’m guessing there are plenty of other stories you could post about in a flippant way?

This is actually your husband showing you what he thinks you are worth and it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing it. It doesn’t seem like a big deal on the surface but it honestly is.

I still feel uncomfortable being treated well in relationships because it seems to be easier to accept being treated badly rather than with respect when you have low self esteem. Someone with plenty of it wouldn’t put up with this.

I’m aware I’m projecting my own experiences and if your relationship is perfect in other ways then it might be easier to overlook someone just being a bit thrifty and be understanding.

Have you ever read Marian Keyes “Last chance saloon?” there is a character called Tara in a similar relationship and that book really opened my eyes.

If your husband has OCD then is he getting help for it? I have diagnosed OCD and medication really helped. It’s a difficult condition to live with and even harder to live with somebody else who has it.

t blame anyone for not wanting to touch them!

Cat food packets are pretty disgusting though and I don

@mrsgumpy - are you able to say what it is you’re feeding your cat - both wet and dry food?

The reason I ask is with regards to is the cat’s diet “complete”?

Lots of dried foods are classed as “complete”. Ie, they contain everything your cat needs nutrition-wise. Whereas a lot of wet foods are classed as “complementary” so they don’t contain everything your cat needs.

My cats are feed complete dry food - available for free-feeding 24/7. And they have a small tin of complementary wet food every evening as a treat.

Do a little research and I’m sure you’ll be able to tell your OH to bugger off!

This soap story really is vile. You clearly have the patience of a saint!

Using a teaspoon to get to the bottom of the cats wet food can be disgusting if you get it on your fingers!
My life was transformed with the purchase of latte spoons. Sorry I’m not good at links but I’ve just looked up my purchase; £5.49 for 4 from Amazon.
They’re basically thin spoons with a very long handle which get right to the bottom of the packet; it’s very easy to get everything out. I keep the spoon in the empty packet and use it for the next one then wipe and put it in the dishwasher at the end of the day.
Problem solved!

Go on then.
Or might I venture a guess:
Small leftovers of bar soap compressed into a reusable bar? One used to be able to buy a machine that did just that.
Bar soap opened and left to dry out for months before use, so it ‘lasts longer’.
I grew up with parents of the wartime austerity generation and know these things well. Fifty years later, WWII is over. It now gives me twinge of wistful pleasure to sling little bits of soap directly into the bin.

Cats will never drink next to their food if they can help it. Putting them together discourages the from drinking enough as cats instinctually keep water away from food to avoid contamination. It actually encourages them from drinking. Separating them encourages better hydration. Keep their water and food far apart.

And for God's sake stop starving your cat. My tuxedo cats eats 3 times so much as yours. I would never be married to anyone who is cruel to animals. I am medically diagnosed OCD and would never dream of this. Your DH isn't OCD, he is just as an absolute cunt. Your poor, poor cat.

To be fair a lot of people would do this 😂. I think there is even a mumsnet area dedicated to it.

As I often say of this site: it’s a window into the extraordinary way some people live.
Thanks for the entertainment. 😀

I laughed it off at the time but I look back and it really was miserable.

We never had nights out or holidays and going out for a meal was a portion of sausage and chips on a bench.

It’s easy to get into the trap of thinking you don’t deserve nice things. As long as you aren’t expecting diamonds and champagne every day that you can’t afford then you and your cat deserve better 💕

After you've squeezed a pimple, does he try to give it another go in case there's some left in there?

We Split up 18 years ago and I still appreciate being able to buy lovely soap and spend ages in TK Maxx choosing it.

I feel the same about putting the heating on when I’m cold, buying proper Diet Coke and not the Aldi cheap stuff and a decent winter coat and not an ill fitting charity shop one.

It wasn’t what most would class as an abusive relationship but it was a horrible way to live and wasn’t easy to forget.

My cat grazes throughout the day. I stay away from the wet cat food as it makes her really aggressive. I don’t know what it is - whether she’s sensitive to any of the preservatives but after she’s eaten it she’s aggressive and very loud.

I would never ever ration out her wet cat food over the course of a day - that’s just cruel.

As my Scottish father says, there’s mean and there’s careful. Careful is buying cheap things and denying yourself. Mean is doing it to others. They are very different things. Ad my dad would give the best food to the cat, while eating mouldy cheese himself!

Well this thread isn't as bad as I feared from the title. I thought he was rummaging in the bin and eating it himself.

@GetThatToadOutOfMyHole there's being careful and not wasting money but that level of mean is way too far. I hope you buy lovely soap now he's an Ex