Husband going through bin for cat food

Yuck! All those germs from other peoples' drinks - revolting. He must have a very strong stomach and zero shame.

I was just about to say this. Jelly ones are the way to go.

Your husband is weird - and he strikes me as insanely tight fisted!

Reminds me of a guy who I dated briefly who would finish other people’s drinks in the pub to save money.

And I don’t people he knew. If randoms left the pub but had not finished their beer he would saunter over and get the glass and finish it himself.

@GasPanic even a tiny sized cat needs more than 85g of food a day. My cat is large but he has five x 85g sachets plus kibbbles and chicken snacks. He’s a healthy weight for his build. I feel so sad for this cat

I don't know whether he is starving the cat or not.

I do know that generally people get more "polarised" as they get older, so these undesirable behavioural traits are likely to get more extreme.

If you're happy to live the rest of your life like that then fine.

Bastard probably counts the sachets and OP would be in big trouble if she tries to secretly feed her hungry cat.

@mrsgumpy can you see how abusive and fucked up this is?

He’s abusing your cat by starvation and you are allowing it, sorry OP but that’s the truth.
he’s an abuser

'So not only did we now have lots of tiny pieces of soap to use, but they had already been used by his grandmother' 😂😂

Sorry OP but that is fucking hilarious and fucking awful equally. I'd have slung them straight in the bin and my fanny would have sewn itself shut at that. Please tell me you didn't use them!

What an awful mealy mouthed fucker.

And you don't have the autonomy to decide that a cat is hungry.This would be the deal breaker for me and I couldn't live in those circumstances.

Just give the empty packet to the cat, poor thing is so starving he’d probably get every last lick out of it. He’s an animal abuser.

Maybe because that is no way for anyone to live.

I was never allowed a cat by by husband, and once spent the early hours of the morning during a terrible storm outside in a gale trying to pack cardboard boxes with newspaper and bedding for a little stray that was crying outside our window.
He allowed her into the kitchen the next day under sufferance as I was waiting for a local cat rescue to come and take her -then ranted on and on about it for days.
When I eventually left him, I adopted a little 3.4kg cat -she has 2 x 85 tins purina gourmet or pouches a day split into 3 meals, with purina biscuits at night with dreamies and dental treats at other times.
She is notoriously fussy and I rotate the flavours and textures but stopped jelly sachets as she would leave the meat -gravy is much better for her hydration (she also likes to drink tuna juice in spring water occasionally!)
The point is, I adapt her feeding to what she seems to like.I'm happy to squeeze out a pouch, and once used a teaspoon, only to throw it away! There is waste, but so what? She's 11, we love her and she brings so much happiness to us.
I still think about the little cat left out in the elements, and what kind of man would act like that.
As others have said, the cat is not the issue here, your husband is.
Feed your cat, don't be sucked into your husband's madness, and put a hidden camera in the kitchen.
I would be really interested to see how he treats the cat when you are not there, physically and verbally.
Do you have children, OP?

There is such a simple and easy way to rectify this, I'm surprised no one has offered it as a solution.

If you are up first thing in the morning feed the cat a whole sachet. You then hide the empty sachet by wrapping it up and putting it in your handbag.

You then refeed the cat again but only give it half a portion, your husband can then eek out the rest of the sachet throughout the course of the day and he can ensure the sachet is fully emptied before binning it.

You then disposed of the original empty sachet at your leisure when you leave the house in a public bin.

This way everyone is happy, the cat is well fed, you don't have to watch your miserly husband rooting through the bin and your husband still gets the pleasure of thinking he is ensuring no waste is allowed to happen.

The pouches are very uneconomical. You'd save money with tins, even more with a bulk buy subscription, which may make him happier. I wouldn't be irritated by him avoiding waste, but I wouldn't let him feed the cat less than it needed.

I could not live like this 💐

OP, why don't you post on the relationships board? This isn't a cat food issue at all.

You must be really miserable, and like all women in your position, at some point you will find that consoling yourself with feeling how understanding and sympathetic you are to your partner's awful upbringing/mental health/difficulties/whatever will not be enough for you. That daily demonstrating how careful you are with money and not wasting stuff etc etc, and that surely he can trust you and relax a bit blah blah, will NEVER make a difference and will NEVER be enough.

Post on relationships and get some help in considering the next steps in the rest of your life.

It's not about cat food (...)

Sorry clicked yabu by mistake. I'd suggest that if eating out of the bin is good enough for the cat, then it is good enough for him.

The tightest man I ever worked with couldn't see the point of decent coffee, used the cheapest tea bags and was a stranger to any act of charity but he'd spend £600 on a bike he rode once a fortnight_ I really hope your DH isn't like him Op

Can you feed the cat then leave the sachet out so he can have another go at it? Your husband sounds like hard work op. I hope you have separate bank accounts and that he has some redeeming features.

He sounds mean as fuck. There's being careful and then there's this.
My dh does it with shower gel, sauce and washing up liquid.
Stands them somewhere upside down until I chuck it in the bin usually with a few swear words thrown in. He's not tight just doesn't like waste. But even he wouldn't go through the bin.

Let him use his grandmother's manky pieces of soap but buy your own. Tell him that it is only for you and he can luxuriate with grandma's soap.

Same with the cat food, buy something which he can't tamper with. Whilst he uses the pouches, you can use a different type which he can't obsess about.

But really, his behaviour sounds incredibly draining, undermining and joyless. Life is too short to be lectured about getting the last drop of food out of the cat food pouch.

Can I just add; you can rinse the food pouches and recycle them. Tesco accept them - at ours in a big bin outside the main door.

The weird thing is that his odd behaviour with the cat food isn't actually saving you any money. It's giving the cat maybe 2 mg of "extra" food, but that doesn't mean you need to buy less.

Him underfeeding the cat means you buy less, of course, but that's just cruelty.

I do not say this lightly - this man in mentally unwell

please stop underfeeding your cat - and stand up against him.

I don't know how you can live like this.