Husband going through bin for cat food

I was thinking about your situation this morning when i fed my little tortie.
I have just come home from the vets, where I sat next to a lovely, kind man, probably in his late thirties, who spoke about his old cat, and mine, with such humour and gentleness that it made me tearful, because my husband would never have done or felt this, which is why pets were a no-no for me and our children.
But reading that your husband calls you slovenly and wasteful has made me really angry, I think he resents your cat, I think he secretly hates it, and my gut feeling is that he is seething with contempt.
His obsessive, determined checking of the bins is exactly the same mindset as a man who would go through your phone/purchases/receipts/quiz you about where you have been etc. i.e. a nasty control freak.
If you can do this safely, I would record, or listen outside the door, to see if he has a running commentary when he is picking through the bin, that will tell you who he is when he thinks no one can hear him.😪

Please leave him. This is no way to live.

Poor cat. Your DH is nuts.

they were sly doing that weren't they. took me a while before I copped the sachets were smaller
op your lucky you not in my house one of my dogs watches the cats closely and if the cat walks away from it food before bowl is empty the dog runs in and wolfs it down - and dog is well fed before anyone jumps on me just loves cat food ( the vet says it's quite common) so I have the begging eyes from the cat when he sees his bowl empty so of course I give him another pouch 🤣

OP, please don’t live like this. You have one life. This is no way to spend it. Please don’t breed with this man. However much you feel sorry for him or believe your love can fix him. It won’t. Take the cat and go love him life. Leave the soap though.

I've not read all the replies.

Sachets used to be 100g each. Most are now 85g. Recommended 2 or 3 per cat PER day.

You are starving your cat.

I buy the jelly sachets rather than gravy. It slides out whole so no waste.

It’s cruel.
Honestly you shouldn’t have cats.

I started out thinking you DH sounds a bit odd. After reading all your posts I think you & your poor sweet cat need to have a serious think about whether you really need this man in your life. I suspect that this bizarre cat food thing your DH does has nothing to do with cat food at all: it’s a way of

• signalling his extreme disapproval of you feeding the cat 2 pouches a day,
• signalling his disapproval/resentment of the cat (was the decision to get a cat because you wanted one but him not so much? Do you show love/affection toward the cat & he’s jealous?)
• signalling disapproval of how you do things generally (nothing you do is good enough)

If this was purely an extreme form of parsimony it makes no sense: it is much better for cats, particularly male cats with their very long thin urethras that are easily blocked, to eat wet food rather than dry. Unblocking a cat is a very expensive medical emergency (typical cost £1500-£2000) and if not done the cat dies an agonising death after a few days. So trying to save money by feeding fewer pouches is insane.

I think your husband has some very complex issues that manifest in this very odd way. The good news is that these kinds of conditions respond very well to psychotherapy… IF your DH is able to accept he has a problem and is committed to working with a therapist to address them.

And the bits of soap… EWWWWWWWWWWW!!! There are all sorts of funguses & things that can live on soaps (you never find bars of soaps in clinical settings: only liquid soaps you squeeze from a dispenser. There’s a reason for that.) Forcing you to use ancient bits of soap that other people have used is one of the most disgusting, controlling, & just fucking horrible things I’ve heard.

Please, take your sweet cat and leave this saddo. Or better yet throw him out. Join the ranks of Single Cat Ladies Society.

Personally I would rinse the sachet in hot water and a little bit of washing up liquid so it was nice and shiny and clean...then bin it for tight arse to find!

Have you tried talking to your husband about his strange behaviour?

This sounds incredibly difficult, OP. I think I would have difficulty feeling physical affection at any level towards someone who treated me this way. I would not be wanting to share a bed

But I don’t think cats need wet food if they can have high quality kibble (the small biscuits) on demand. Our beautiful, shiny female thrived on a diet of dry food, a small bowl of morning milk, plenty of water and the odd treat of a small portion of liver, fish, giblets, etc. She finally had to be PTS age 17

Doesnt DH going through the bin to scrape dregs disgust you more than scraping the sachet yourself? Honestly, it’s a close run thing.

Cat sounds like it is underfed and the constant mewing would be unbearable for me. Buy the sachets with jelly so it all slides out. Feed the cat what you want. I would also start removing the sachets from the main bin and disposing of them without him being able to interfere. I’d also refuse to discuss it. Your husband is seriously unreasonable and icky!

That sounds like you're the cat, of so, mine go mad for lick e lix.

@LarryIsMyRomanEmpire thanks, I didn’t want to miss out on some treat

I'm a pet sitter and despite my better judgement, I can kind of understand it depending on the cat food. Applaws in sachets are particularly bad, half the food can easily be left in the folds in the bottom of the sachet, there's no option but to dig around the bottom and even then it's torture trying to get it all out.

Switch to a decent brand and avoid the garbage foods like wiskas and Felix, get one that comes in a tin and the problem will be solved.

Just sounds mad. As a pp said cut the sachets into strips.Or I would just throw the 'empty' sachet in a public waste bin when going to town or work.

@FurForksSake
One of mine adores mushrooms.

I think your husband should eat less than half his daily food for a while.

Why would you stay with a guy who's so miserly he abuses your cat by starving it?

He had you showering with his grandmother's soap scraps.

Get the hell out and take the cat. This guy has got a screw loose and you need to do the Freedom Program and get therapy as to why you thought it was remotely ok to live like this.

My cat likes a custard cream biscuit, but only once it has been dunked.

Just buy the ones in jelly. I refuse to use the gravy ones as they slop out and you have the squeeze them, the jelly ones drop right out with no leftovers.

Your DH is starving the cat. You are lucky it has not run away and found another home. It needs 2 sachets a day and the kibble. Just feed it more yourself otherwise you are knowingly see the cat underfed.

Forget leaving him to feed the cat and just leave him.

Why on earth are you with this miserable little man OP?