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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband going through bin for cat food

364 replies

mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:25

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

OP posts:
CalzoneOnLegs · 02/11/2025 20:58

Poor little cat 😢

Salvadoridory · 02/11/2025 20:58

Leave him, take the cat. Im not joking, what an ugly character.

Screwyoucolin · 02/11/2025 20:58

I couldn't have sex with a man that does this 😳

FurForksSake · 02/11/2025 20:57

He doesn’t get to decide on no treats or extravagances, you are a partnership. Start buying frivolous shit if you want to. I’d start buying antimacassars for the cats new special arm chair.

AnOldCynic · 02/11/2025 20:56

Personally I think YABU for not washing out the sachets and recycling them…

GloriousGoosebumps · 02/11/2025 20:55

Your dh is at best a twat and at worse abusing the poor cat. His behaviour with the cat food sounds quite performative. Why do you just stand there while he goes into the bin and lectures you? Deprive him of an audience by leaving the kitchen. That'll spoil his fun. And much as you hate it, you do need to continue to feed the poor cat so that he receives at least one decent meal each day.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 02/11/2025 20:55

There’s tight, and there’s tight as a duck’s arse. And that’s watertight.

Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:55

CalzoneOnLegs · 02/11/2025 20:53

I don’t believe anyone would do this

if on the off chance it’s genuine rinse the pouch out before binning i do this to avoid odours in my bin

The rinsing idea is good - and someone suggested that I can then tip it into the bowl. I am going to try that tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:54

RosesAndHellebores · 02/11/2025 20:50

He sounds ghastly but why can't you have a dedicated teaspoon for the cat food? I use the children's old baby cutlery but you could buy a pack of weaning spoons.

Poor cat

Edited

Yup, we have a dedicated spoon. I am just a bit queasy about scrapping the inside of the sachet to get the last morsels out as there is barely anything left in it anyway. I like the suggestion that I cut it long ways or leave it next to bowl for husband to deal with...

OP posts:
CalzoneOnLegs · 02/11/2025 20:53

I don’t believe anyone would do this

if on the off chance it’s genuine rinse the pouch out before binning i do this to avoid odours in my bin

RosesAndHellebores · 02/11/2025 20:53

My cats get a bowl of kibble and half tin/sachet in the morning and a whole tin/sachet in the evening.

AgentPidge · 02/11/2025 20:53

I'd leave it on the side for him to deal with and then throw away.

Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:52

LarryIsMyRomanEmpire · 02/11/2025 20:49

Buy the jelly ones and the the whole packet comes straight out, the gravy ones cling annoyingly.

That is the ones we have, I think, but I will check. He'd still go to the bin with the jelly ones I reckon to get the juice off the side of the sachet.

OP posts:
Girliefriendlikespuppies · 02/11/2025 20:51

It tells you on the packet how much food the cat needs in a day so there d ad would be no debate about this 🤷‍♀️

My cat has dry food so has food in a bowl all the time, I just fill it up when it’s empty.

Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:51

I think the cat needs at least 2 pouches/sachets a day plus biscuits. DH gives the cat 1/2 a sachet in the morning and 1/2 in the evening. It is a long-standing dispute. The cat is very active outside (the most athletic member of the family).

OP posts:
RosesAndHellebores · 02/11/2025 20:50

He sounds ghastly but why can't you have a dedicated teaspoon for the cat food? I use the children's old baby cutlery but you could buy a pack of weaning spoons.

Poor cat

CharlieKirkRIP · 02/11/2025 20:50

When you have fed the cat, cut the packaging up in strips to prevent your weirdo husband retrieving it from the bin.

LarryIsMyRomanEmpire · 02/11/2025 20:49

Buy the jelly ones and the the whole packet comes straight out, the gravy ones cling annoyingly.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 02/11/2025 20:48

He sounds awful, tight as a cats arse (excuse the pun 😉)

I wouldn’t put up with this shit.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 02/11/2025 20:48

Without a diagnosis your dh isn't ocd. He's just a cunt..
HTH...

FurForksSake · 02/11/2025 20:45

It tells you on the outer box the portion size for the age / size of cat surely? It’s not a debate it’s written clearly.

We only feed dry food and have a robot feeder, saves a fortune as ours we were definitely over feeding due to over handed biscuit dropping.

anyway.

ltb.

Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:45

SprayWhiteDung · 02/11/2025 20:42

Underfeeding the cat is very unreasonable, but so is wasting a lot of the packet IF that's what you're doing.

How much is actually left in the packet? Is it a couple of specks or a sizeable amount?

It sounds a bit extreme to say that you find it disgusting. I get that you probably wouldn't want to eat it yourself, but not even being willing to touch it and then wash your hands? Not that you'd actually have to if you used a spoon to scrape it out with.

Could you not just squeeze out what you can and give it to the cat, then leave the packet on the kitchen side for your DH to get the rest out later - rather than just binning it immediately?

I am squeezing out as much as a can. I am just not that keen on using a teaspoon to scrap the sides of the sachet to get the rest. Good idea about leaving it for him to scrap out next to the bowl if he wishes. I will also try cutting the packet the way some have suggested.

OP posts:
SprayWhiteDung · 02/11/2025 20:42

Underfeeding the cat is very unreasonable, but so is wasting a lot of the packet IF that's what you're doing.

How much is actually left in the packet? Is it a couple of specks or a sizeable amount?

It sounds a bit extreme to say that you find it disgusting. I get that you probably wouldn't want to eat it yourself, but not even being willing to touch it and then wash your hands? Not that you'd actually have to if you used a spoon to scrape it out with.

Could you not just squeeze out what you can and give it to the cat, then leave the packet on the kitchen side for your DH to get the rest out later - rather than just binning it immediately?

Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:42

RightOnTheEdge · 02/11/2025 20:37

I'd be more concerned about him rationing the cat's food and having a hungry cat constantly meowing for food all day!

Yeah, that is another argument we have. He thinks he isn't under-feeding him. I think he is. And so it goes.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:42

kathmacc · 02/11/2025 20:37

This was how my Mother in Law started displaying early signs of dementia. Asking how much milk we would be using that day so she could decant to a jug on worktop “as opening fridge door was wasting electricity”. Also when kids dropped crumbs on floor “to leave them so spiders had some thing to eat!” After our last visit to her house I remember looking through my rear view mirror watching her empty the dustbin looking for anything I had binned which she could reuse- so sad 😢 Been in a care home for 8 years now and recognises none of her family 😢

Crikey - that sounds really tough to deal with. Not sure it is dementia but likely just general OCD behaviour.

OP posts: