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Original poster

Husband going through bin for cat food

364 replies

mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:25

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

OP posts:
Happyjoe · 02/11/2025 23:43

Driftingawaynow · 02/11/2025 23:36

If cat has free access to biscuits then the wet food is a nice bonus but he isn’t going to starve. Mine gets 1 tiny tin of quality meat and free access to biscuits (that she likes), her weight is fine. Fat is so bad for pets and so common, slim is much healthier. If your cat is a good weight I really wouldn’t worry about him being underfed

husband has issues regardless

Think OP said biccies on a timer, so a portion, and the cat doesn't eat it all as doesn't like them much. Not like my madam who has access to a big bowl all day to graze on :-)

JMSA · 02/11/2025 23:40

How unattractive.

Driftingawaynow · 02/11/2025 23:36

If cat has free access to biscuits then the wet food is a nice bonus but he isn’t going to starve. Mine gets 1 tiny tin of quality meat and free access to biscuits (that she likes), her weight is fine. Fat is so bad for pets and so common, slim is much healthier. If your cat is a good weight I really wouldn’t worry about him being underfed

husband has issues regardless

Nanny0gg · 02/11/2025 23:35

mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:40

Some great tips here - thanks ladies. The washing it out with water idea I will try. We don't buy tins as they are more expensive.

Yes, it is representative of other aspects of our marriage (no treats, no extravagances) so this is probably why it is particularly irritating.

I do think he is under-feeding the cat (although he disagrees) and sometimes when the cat is roaming around the house crying I wonder if he is a symbol for something ... This is also why I like to feed him in the morning, so I know he can have the whole sachet of food rather than being portioned out through the day.

Why are you living like this?

Miserable

Happyjoe · 02/11/2025 23:29

SeaUrchinHat · 02/11/2025 23:24

He can feed the cat or you can cut the sachet into bits when you have. Either way it’d be a temporary solution as I’d recommend you look to rehome husband. Life is too short for this kind of shit and they don’t generally improve with age do they?

Plus cat's can't answer back. Win win, rehome hubby!

Happyjoe · 02/11/2025 23:28

mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 22:40

I don't think the cat is being neglected - he is absolutely beautiful looking with a shiny coat. But I have to be the one to feed him. We do leave biscuits out constantly in an automatic feeder. He just doesn't like them much (they are the bulk by ones from Costco, because of course). So I buy the more expensive ones to give him in addition. The battle is mostly over the wet food.

Show quote history

Feeding him dry that he doesn't like and he leaves behind isn't really feeding him enough? Wet food is better for them, but does need to be varied, not same sachet every day as no cat food has all the nutrients they need in it.

Cat food has gone up in price but I will argue, if you can't afford decent food or enough food then shouldn't have got a cat. Cat food in our house is the most expensive part of the weekly shop imo but I'd never scrimp. I hope hubby wouldn't scrimp on health if something were to happen because vet bills are outrageous.

I kinda hope there's an old lady somewhere in your street sneakily feeding him.. may be why he looks so healthy?!

NetflixandKill1 · 02/11/2025 23:27

Christ. Now that is a one tight arse! He’d had a fit living with me, my cat gets between 5/6 sachets a day. And biscuits and treats! Oh and cream. He loves his cream 😻

LTB

SeaUrchinHat · 02/11/2025 23:24

He can feed the cat or you can cut the sachet into bits when you have. Either way it’d be a temporary solution as I’d recommend you look to rehome husband. Life is too short for this kind of shit and they don’t generally improve with age do they?

Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 23:23

I'd like to post a photo of the cat but I am worried I'd get identified. He is very beautiful with a glossy coat. A black and white tuxedo cat.

OP posts:
Agapornis · 02/11/2025 23:22

mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 22:40

I don't think the cat is being neglected - he is absolutely beautiful looking with a shiny coat. But I have to be the one to feed him. We do leave biscuits out constantly in an automatic feeder. He just doesn't like them much (they are the bulk by ones from Costco, because of course). So I buy the more expensive ones to give him in addition. The battle is mostly over the wet food.

Show quote history

Do as most cat owners do - buy the food your cat actually likes. Poor love. Iams chicken is quite popular with most cats and comes in 800g-10kg bags.

Theunamedcat · 02/11/2025 23:21

Classic cat food in tins is reasonable priced you can buy in bulk too no yucky sachet

Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 23:21

Thanks everyone for the input and perspectives. It is really hard to know what is normal in a relationship when you are in the middle of it. Some of these comments really hit close to home. A lot to reflect on!

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 23:20

Rexinasaurus · 02/11/2025 22:52

Could this - husband going through bin to excavate cat food sachets - be your alternate version of ‘she divorced me because I left dishes by the sink’?

It sounds like there are other issues too (though I’m totally with you about how annoying this is).

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sinkb9055288

Edited
Show quote history

Interesting article. I think the feeding of the cat is definitely a symbol of something larger.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 23:19

Agapornis · 02/11/2025 23:14

You need a knife, not a spoon. A pointy knife is the best way to get all the fiddly bits and gravy out. Then rinse the sachet so your bin doesn't stink. Leave it out to dry and so your DH learns a lesson.

I think the real problem is that your DH checks up on you, even though it's always you that feeds DCat. If he feels he can do it better than you, then he should make it his job - except he can't be relied upon to stick to the DCat's routine. He's a total dick for messing DCat around like that.

Could we have a cat photo please?

I hope that dry food bowl is always topped up. My cat's is, he gets half a pouch morning and evening. He's healthy and athletic but does graze on the dry food throughout the day.

Edited

Actually, I think that is it too - the checking up on me. Like I cannot even be trusted to feed the cat in the correct way. It applies to a lot of things.

Some people have commented about the yuckiness of going through the bin. I also think it is yuck but weirdly he is also a germaphobe and spend ages obsessively cleaning the kitchen etc and washing his hands.

OP posts:
Happyjoe · 02/11/2025 23:18

3-4 sachets a day or 2-3 sachets plus dry.
That's what an ordinary, active cat needs. He is underfeeding it, poor love. Can you feed more, on the QT when he's not around? Leave some dry overnight?

Normally, when cats are fed well they'd leave a bit in the bowl anyway, stopping the need to go through the bin. Eww btw.

Agapornis · 02/11/2025 23:14

You need a knife, not a spoon. A pointy knife is the best way to get all the fiddly bits and gravy out. Then rinse the sachet so your bin doesn't stink. Leave it out to dry and so your DH learns a lesson.

I think the real problem is that your DH checks up on you, even though it's always you that feeds DCat. If he feels he can do it better than you, then he should make it his job - except he can't be relied upon to stick to the DCat's routine. He's a total dick for messing DCat around like that.

Could we have a cat photo please?

I hope that dry food bowl is always topped up. My cat's is, he gets half a pouch morning and evening. He's healthy and athletic but does graze on the dry food throughout the day.

Noshadelamp · 02/11/2025 23:12

I'd take it out of his hands completely by rinsing out the pouch and ompletely remove the empty pouches to the outside bin immediately. I'd keep the outside bin on the front to deter him going through it in front of neighbours.

mayGodhelpusall · 02/11/2025 23:04

I mean this from the bottom of my heart as someone who is a germaphobe, animal lover and of a somewhat nervous disposition, I don't think I could manage a week being married to your husband. I literally think I would have a nervous breakdown worrying about the germs coming out of the bin and the poor, miaowing cat all day. Fck me...

wanttokickoffbutcant · 02/11/2025 23:01

mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:42

Yeah, that is another argument we have. He thinks he isn't under-feeding him. I think he is. And so it goes.

Show quote history

I have not read the whole thread but you know a cat needs 3 pouches plus some dry food each day, right? Your cat is hungry. Sort your fucking husband out or rehome your poor cat.

sheistheslayer · 02/11/2025 23:01

Blueberry911 · 02/11/2025 22:55

He sounds horrid. Don't minimise it. One sachet of food a day is a pathetically tiny amount of food for an active cat.

You need some standards. I wouldn't stand for someone being deliberately cruel and talk that down to him being cheap.

The cat does have access to dry food too
mine is on a diet and has two small tins a day and no dry food at all

snackatack · 02/11/2025 23:00

Just to add - you can easily feed1 pouch a day and have an overweight cat - if you feed biscuits too

mayGodhelpusall · 02/11/2025 22:57

Like I am not being dramatic, I do not think I could cope with this I'd have to LTB! Rummaging through the bin 😭I can't. Hygiene before anything else...

Blueberry911 · 02/11/2025 22:55

He sounds horrid. Don't minimise it. One sachet of food a day is a pathetically tiny amount of food for an active cat.

You need some standards. I wouldn't stand for someone being deliberately cruel and talk that down to him being cheap.

Rexinasaurus · 02/11/2025 22:52

mrsgumpy · 02/11/2025 20:25

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

Could this - husband going through bin to excavate cat food sachets - be your alternate version of ‘she divorced me because I left dishes by the sink’?

It sounds like there are other issues too (though I’m totally with you about how annoying this is).

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sinkb9055288

She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink

It wasn’t a big deal to me when I was married. But it was a big deal to her.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

CommanderTaggart · 02/11/2025 22:44

Watch A Christmas Carol with him this Christmas and have a conversation about the joy of giving, how money hardens the heart, ruins relationships and doesn’t buy happiness.
I like the version with Albert Finney.