Reduced Child Maintenance & my Ex has Changed my DS's Surname

78 replies

Intothesunshine · 28/10/2025 15:49

So, I posted a message earlier this year about my ill health and retirement.

CSA became involved as my ex didn't believe me. Anyway, HMRC and CSA confirmed my income and payments were reduced by 66%.

Now, my ex has changed his surname to her maiden name and without my consent. I have PR and named as father on Birth Certificate (we were married when DS was born).

I know he has a choice when he is 16 or 18, but FFS, why has she she gone and done this!!??

Feel very angry, but she is a complete narcissist and wants me to react so I am the bad one. It's hard to keep quiet but FFS, she has really pissed me and my other children right off !!

OP posts:

ShesTheAlbatross · 28/10/2025 15:55

If it’s been legally changed I believe you can go to court to challenge that.

If she’s just asked the school to use it, you can ask that they use the birth certificate name.

However, while I do think that this sounds like a very petty thing to do, I’m not sure that you fighting it and having it changed back will help your child. It could be confusing, depending on age. And if they’re older, then I’d let the child decide - I know legally they can decide at 16 but I wouldn’t make a 15 yr old change it back for less than a year.

randomchap · 28/10/2025 15:52

Has it been legally changed, or has she just told people to use her maiden name?

TheBlueHotel · 28/10/2025 15:51

How old is the child? If she's changed it at school you can contact the school and ask them to revert to his correct surname.

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