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AIBU?

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Original poster

That the phrases "The Mrs", "The Wife", etc set my teeth on edge!

89 replies

Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 18:15

So sexist IMO.
To clarify, I have no issue with "My wife," but "The" anything I do.
My dad was out shopping once with my mum when he bumped into someone he knew loosely. The man said (in front of my mum, one of the strongest and most independent women I know): "Oh, is this Her Indoors?" Say whaaaaaaaaaat?!!! You can imagine her reaction!!! 😆

OP posts:
Original poster
Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 21:42

@CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone You really can't see the misogyny?

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Strawberryorangejuice · 25/10/2025 21:42

YANBU along with pink jobs and blue jobs. Also "I gave him/her a pass" - I.e. a pass to go out for the night.

rainbowsparkle28 · 25/10/2025 21:40

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/10/2025 18:16

Well yes because they’re awful and misogynistic

This absolutely. Suggests the individual - usually a women let’s be honest - is someone’s object not a human being 🤢

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 25/10/2025 21:37

Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 20:32

@Tattyhabits It's putting you down whenever it's used - it's misogynistic.

It's really f*king not.

You don't get to police how other couples interact, or how their sense of humour works.

I sometimes despair at people's self-importance.

I also despair when you ask the AIBU question and then agree with those that support you, and tell people who disagree that they're wrong.

As she said, life's too short.

SeaAndStars · 25/10/2025 21:32

My dad used to refer to mum as 'my bride'.
I used to think it was lovely, especially as at the end it had been over 50 years since their wedding. I wonder if people found that sexist? I hope not, it was meant with love.

SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal · 25/10/2025 21:25

Happyholidays78 · 25/10/2025 21:20

My partner has referred to me as 'the Mrs' we are not married! I don't mind it but it is an old fashioned term I think. Mind you I absolutely can't stand the whole hubby, hubster, wifey nonsense, it really annoys me for some reason.

Edited

Hubster 😂 agree!

SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal · 25/10/2025 21:24

XWKD · 25/10/2025 21:16

My friend called his wife "her indoors", "the ball and chain", or "the war ministry", but only when she was within earshot. It sounded so ridiculous and they got a laugh out of it. He'd never say it in front of anyone but me -I was equally close to both of them. He really looked up to her.

Show quote history

Exactly, in that context it’s jokey and affectionate. Not used in a genuinely disparaging way. I’d find that funny too. I constantly joke with my DH that ‘a happy wife is a happy life’ when I’m badgering him to do a tip run/pop in the loft, we find it hilarious 😂

Happyholidays78 · 25/10/2025 21:20

My partner has referred to me as 'the Mrs' we are not married! I don't mind it but it is an old fashioned term I think. Mind you I absolutely can't stand the whole hubby, hubster, wifey nonsense, it really annoys me for some reason.

2025mustbebetter · 25/10/2025 21:19

My husband has me in his phone as "the wife" and I hate it. He says it's because his cousin has exactly the same gift and surname as me. I'm like wtf? Just put me as my first name and her as cousin must be better.

He has yet to change it.

Infuriating!

Original poster
Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 21:18

@Growlybear83 Awww massive congratulations 🎊

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Growlybear83 · 25/10/2025 21:17

Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 21:16

@Growlybear83 Awwww Old Trout and Shitbag - how romantic! Have you been married a long time? 💍 ❤️

yes, 45 years and together for 50 next month.

Original poster
Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 21:16

@Growlybear83 Awwww Old Trout and Shitbag - how romantic! Have you been married a long time? 💍 ❤️

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XWKD · 25/10/2025 21:16

SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal · 25/10/2025 21:10

‘The’ wife does sound awful.

’Her indoors’ really tickles me, I’d laugh out loud if someone referred to me as that, it’s genuinely too ridiculous to feel offended by 😂 similarly with ‘the old ball and chain’.

I’ve genuinely never heard anyone in real life use phrases like these.

I find that I refer to my DH as my husband when I am complaining and want to add extra support to that, eg recently to my eldest’s teacher: ‘my husband really is not happy about this either’ 😂 it was definitely me who was the most unhappy, but wanted to add extra oomph! 😂

My friend called his wife "her indoors", "the ball and chain", or "the war ministry", but only when she was within earshot. It sounded so ridiculous and they got a laugh out of it. He'd never say it in front of anyone but me -I was equally close to both of them. He really looked up to her.

SayItLikeItIsLetsKeepItReal · 25/10/2025 21:10

‘The’ wife does sound awful.

’Her indoors’ really tickles me, I’d laugh out loud if someone referred to me as that, it’s genuinely too ridiculous to feel offended by 😂 similarly with ‘the old ball and chain’.

I’ve genuinely never heard anyone in real life use phrases like these.

I find that I refer to my DH as my husband when I am complaining and want to add extra support to that, eg recently to my eldest’s teacher: ‘my husband really is not happy about this either’ 😂 it was definitely me who was the most unhappy, but wanted to add extra oomph! 😂

Livpool · 25/10/2025 21:08

My mum is still annoyed that my dad announced her as ‘the wife’ about 30 years ago!

Idstillratherbepaddleboarding · 25/10/2025 21:08

There’s a woman on my FB who has got into a new relationship that’s moving reeeeeally fast and her partner refers to her as ‘my woman’ which has red flags all over it 🤢.

Growlybear83 · 25/10/2025 21:05

Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 20:33

@Growlybear83 I'd love to know what you call him back! 😆

Usually Shitbag. 😆😆

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 25/10/2025 21:04

Saying that I’ve never actually heard mine call me either of those. Usually it’s just ‘my wife’ or ‘Her Rotundness’ which cracks me up.

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 25/10/2025 21:01

Her indoors is horrible.

I don’t mind The Mrs or The Wife though. It shows I’m the only wife/mrs that matters to him - I am THE one and only Mrs FatSquirrels

Original poster
Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 21:00

@tuvamoodyson It's a hard pass from me!

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Original poster
Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 20:59

@missmollygreen They're awful as well.

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BigDogJR · 25/10/2025 20:47

tuvamoodyson · 25/10/2025 20:35

I’ve seen hen party/‘satin’ dressing gowns with ‘wifey’ emblazoned on them…obviously some women like to that 🤷🏼‍♀️

I’ll raise that with “Wifey for lifey”.

missmollygreen · 25/10/2025 20:41

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/10/2025 18:16

Well yes because they’re awful and misogynistic

How is it any different to hubby, the husband, hubster, my man?

tuvamoodyson · 25/10/2025 20:35

I’ve seen hen party/‘satin’ dressing gowns with ‘wifey’ emblazoned on them…obviously some women like to that 🤷🏼‍♀️

Original poster
Mrsnothingthanks · 25/10/2025 20:33

@Growlybear83 I'd love to know what you call him back! 😆

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