To not clean up DH’s sick

He is not taking any responsibility for getting into the state he was in: he didn't drink much, it was the fasting, you drove him to it.

To my mind him absolving himself from fault is the real issue.

He obviously has a drink problem. And from what you've said about previous incidents it's a long term one. I think it's decision time for you because you really can't expose your poor DD to this type of behaviour

If a person is fasting then they have no food in their stomach to come up when they vomit, surely 🤷🏼‍♀️

@Dollyflip
I think that if I was in your shoes I would have to leave for his safety and to stop me from ending up in prison for manslaughter.
Ok I'm exaggerating I would not commit acts of violence, but his response is appalling, I would not dignify any of what he says with a reply.
He's a ridiculous, useless twit.

Drinking when your fasting is never going to end well do in his defence he probably didn’t have an enormous amount to drink

it depends if it’s regular behaviour or a one off
don’t get me wrong I’d be mightily pissed off but we all fuck up from time to time

I think it’s calling you a prick for his behaviour that’s the main issue. I think you should be getting things in order to potentially leave him. Definitely keep your dd out fir the day. Could you just take her on holiday?

I dealt with my ex’s drunken and abusive behaviour for too long by banning him from the house when he went out drinking. I felt I was setting boundaries so that at least it was not affecting our children.

It didn’t work because as soon as they were grown up, he immediately chose to demonstrate the behaviour to them that I had helped him hide from them for so many years. Leave now, OP. Your children need you to protect them from this disgusting behaviour.

Agree ! Football something fun and Sunday roast . Leave him to it .

@Dollyflip drinkers like this never change.
You can still leave op

I would be unable to leave the house in such a state, nor trust anyone else (particularly such an inadequate human being) to clean it to my standard, so would have to do it immediately myself.

I would then use the joint bank account (if there is one - if not, take him to small claims if he refuses to pay) to replace everything that he'd vomited on.

I would then begin divorce proceedings, as this is clearly not a one-off and he obviously has no regard for anyone but himself.

Anyone who treated my child this badly would wish they had never been born.

Oh wow, he gets hammered whilst fasting. He sounds like a teenager when theyve behaved badly. Id be furious. Like everyone else, Ive been sick before but always in the loo. Abs no excuse for his behaviour.

The drinking/being sick is bad enough but the gas lightening is another thing - let along swearing at your and dd being scared

if you were having concerns before now is the time to act on it

I totally get it. No one wants their marriage to end and due to drink /anger issues but the situation isn’t ending

I put up with it for too long and kicked dh out last year and now going through divorce

no I didn’t want to be a single parent and yes it’s hard - equally I don’t walk on Egg shells now - and dd and I have a happy house where she says is no shouting

The man needs to clean up his own vomit. Honestly I can’t think of any woman who would drunkenly puke on the furniture and just leave it, expecting someone else to clear it up for her . Yet this seems to be a repeated theme for men.
It would be different if he vomited due to illness - ( not drink)- I have certainly helped my DP when he had norovirus to clean up. ( but he didn’t expect me to and was doing his best to deal with it himself despite being weak as a kitten the time)
But OP - this is disgusting behaviour especially when he knows his 11 yr old daughter will witness it.

You are not his mother. Wake him up and point him to the cleaning cupboard. He sounds like a total dick, and not remotely responsible.

He needs to pay for a new couch. The smell will linger.

That would be permanent ick. Most people grow out of this kind behaviour at about age 20. Trying to blame it on you is the icing on the cake.

Same. Vividly remember the scenario of being in my bedroom and desperately needing morning wee but everywhere was covered in vomit and I didn’t know what to do. If it’s a repeated occurrence then it’s abusive.

I would suggest he cleans what he can and finds an emergency same-day fabric cleaning service to fix your furniture. My DH spilt beer all over my gorgeous velvet sofa a couple of months ago, and it cost £200 for a same-day clean, which to be fair, was amazing and the furniture came up good as new. If he won't do this, he is supremely selfish, but do it yourself anyway because dried in sick on your things is revolting.

Pathetic. We had 50 17 year olds partying hard here last night. Not one of them was sick and they cleared the place up before they left. Your Dh should be ashamed

Eurgh, this is gross. I’d have woken DH up and made him clean it up immediately.

If he cannot control his bodily functions when he’s been drinking then it’s time to stop surely?

Yes he needs to clean it up, you shouldn’t have to do it. If he’s up cleaning it and you were stood over him ‘going on’ I can see why he’s snapped and got defensive. I don’t agree with any of his behaviour but you should of told him to clean it and left him to it

His reaction? No. You deserve so much better than this OP.

If he wants to behave like this he can live on his own and solve his own problems including cleaning up his own bodily fluids and waste. He wouldn't have you there to be a convenient scapegoat then.

If this is a reoccurring issue, then take this latest incident as your ‘moment’ to separate.
How horrible for the DC.

Oh well if you are "always going on at him" such that you drive him to drink he'll be happy to split then won't he?

I also couldn't be married to someone stupid enough to fast & drink.

Your poor daughter, so upsetting and confusing, of course she was scared.
He sounds nasty and abusive.
Time to plan your exit, for real.

Is dd his?