To not clean up DH’s sick

Your “D” H has a serious alcohol problem and it is now affecting your children.

See a solicitor and file for divorce.

Alcoholics are drug addicts hiding under the mask of being sociable, having a good time, being a laugh, winding down, relaxing after a hard day's work, blablabla, with a legal high.

But just like other addictions, as time goes on he needs more and more and more to get the same buzz.

Spending, pissing and puking away more money on it - and that's not his money, that's family money.

And as his system gets more and more pickled in the drug, so his risk of disease including cancer and an early death rises.

All because his single most important relationship is not with you or the children, but with his drug of choice.

This isn't about vomiting on the sofa. This is a build up of years and years of disrespect. I have a relative like this - he's fine with a couple of drinks but it only takes a little to tip him over the edge and then he just can't control himself and gets in a stinking mess. People in this position don't see that they cannot drink at all if they can't control it, or should certainly stop at two and never, ever go over that. They think that because they don't present as a 'typical' alcoholic, that they don't drink every day and they hold down a good job etc. that they don't have a problem, and they don't see the grief it causes to everyone around them who have to clean up their mess every time.

You clearly already had the ick due to past behaviour and it's pretty much impossible to get past that so you need to prepare to leave in the most sensible way possible, sorting out all the financial aspects as far as you can. If you really want to give it another try he has to agree to not drink ever again at the very least, but it sounds like there's more going on than that and you've already given it your last chance.

I f you still hate him now, I would consider leaving his passport somewhere, anyway, and when at the airport tell him to catch up with you all. Of course the passport need to be somewhere great( if he still hadn't cleared the sick up then clear the sick up using his passport as a dustpan and then when he finds it its not in a useable state so he can't join you on holiday. Then when you get back start divorce. But only do this if the hate is to strong. And his drinking is a issue. Although I would suggest support a alcoholic but you have children and they don't need to see that.

For the sake of DD, I'd be tempted to wipe off the worst of it then I'd cover the patch with a towel and leave him to do the scrubbing, stain removal, deodorising work himself. If the furniture is ruined I'd expect him to replace it. Once he's sobered-up, I'd be having a serious talk about his problematic drinking.

Your husband has a problem with alcohol. He could easily have died choking on his own vomit.
This is a come to Jesus moment for you. I wouldn't see a path forward here unless he never touches a drop of alcohol ever again, and even then it is shaky.

I'd have cleaned it up to minimise the unpleasantness for DD and to preserve my possessions. Life is expensive when you seperate and the money for a new sofa could be saved for a solicitor. I'm serious. No child needs this in their home and it's not the first time, is it?

Avoid him and the mess.
He should clean up the sick, then hire in a proffessional cleaner, then replace any furniture that still smells.

There is a strong pattern here and it indicates an alcohol addiction with related domestic abuse. He needs to get help and stop or he has to leave the family home as it is damaging you and your child (you leave temporarily if that is safest). It will also damage his health severely-mouth or bowel cancer, liver disease etc etc and you will be clearing that mess as well.

He probably gets paid 10x the OP's salary rather than earns it. He's an absolute horror.

I'm afraid he thinks he owns you because he's older and earns 10x your salary. It's not just an alcohol problem he's got, it's a respect problem.

@LittleTroubleGirl Start your own thread please, don't jump on someone else's.

Of course he should have cleaned it up but if he wasn't able, there's no fucking way I would have left that until the morning. The smell of it, good lord.

Rank.

Couch is likely for the bin now.

I’d have cleaned it up because it’s disgusting and absolutely stinking. Your couch may be ruined so I’d def have wanted to get it out asap. He wld be in the dog house though!

For a thorough clean, a rug doctor - it comes with handtool for upholstery - that you hire from the supermarket can suck out hidden filth from even clean appearing things. Buy the rug doctor branded cleaner - the superstrength one. I think the rug doctor might be one of the few things that will get rid of the smell and suck out the remnants of the vomit. One of those specialist pet accident sprays which are meant to neutralise the smell of pet accidents might also help. Or can you get specialist cleaners in? Are you going to have to write a note about a "food poisoning" accident for DD about her homework? Or can it be scanned?

I agree, but she's got to live in the house!🤢

Invite a mate round to witness, just to have another adults testimony. Take photo evidence, you'll be entitled to legal aid further down the line as its classed as abuse,

Wish I'd known this, 6 years...6 year's ago left my alcoholic dh, same issues. My kids now have trauma counselling witnessing their dad puking and drunk.

Don't hang around, set your bar higher. Call womens aid and your solicitor tomorrow.

What the hell??? Why would he even be expecting you to clean up his horrendous mess to your shared space? And why does he get to lie in when u have a kid? I’d be banging a pot and pan right next to his head to wake him up and making it very clear to him that he needs to sort this mess out and that if he ever does this again he needs to sleep outside!!! You sound very very forgiving. It’s time to not be! Poor you OP.