The venue told me off twice now on front of guests AIBU?

I'd never go back tbh. It sounds awful! They decided to allow the party, it's on them!

The venue are completely in the wrong because they should've made the maximum numbers crystal clear on the booking form.

Fire safety numbers being being breached could see the venue closed down, and of course in a fire it can have horrific consequences.

But it's on them to make it clear on the booking form.

Some of the replies here are baffling.
SHE DIDNT INVITE MORE PEOPLE!

They wanted a MINIMUM of 10 children - she met their requirement with 13. She TOLD them a parent would stay.

OP has done absolutely NOTHING wrong and I’m absolutely amazed anyone would go to this pls e if that’s how they treat people.

Most venues give the maximum amount of people (big or small) in party contracts.

If you stuck to that, then no problem. 👍

I think what's happened here, is that they obviously should only have 15 people, or maybe 20 in that room but instead of telling you that, they've looked at "13 guests" and thought, great no worries. What should have happened is that, when you said parents were staying the owner should have said "I'm so sorry, our max for fire regs is 20 so you'll have to ask some parents to leave or you could reduce the number of party attendees". Instead, she made out it was ok, didn't update her staff, didn't confirm exact numbers with you (probably guessed 1 adult per child), and didn't come up with any other options.
To be fair to the poor staff on the day, they've probably been trained in fire regs, been told over filling the room is a risk to life, and been told they have to provide a great service for parties. It's easier for them to moan about you, rather than moan about their boss (who probably hadn't even told them, or told them it was 26 because 1 parent per child).
Every venue I've ever had a party at has asked for specific names, dietary requirements, number of adults and children. They've messed up not you. Having said that, I'd have replied with absolute exact numbers once I'd got a whiff of them having concerns.
I'd let it go, personally I'd not want a party there again after that, but if you like it just ignore their bad communications and crack on (it'll feel awkward for a bit, and then it'll all fade away). It's just much easier for them all to say you're a bad customer, than to have a family/business partner row about their communication. You won't get very far asking them to change that view!

How on earth can the OP be blamed for going over a limit she wasn't aware of? She's told them 13 kids and she's told them a parent will stay. Thats at least 26 people. If that was over their limit, they should actually say so!!!!

We don't actually know they were. We have one cleaners word for it, whose upset they can't go home on time.

We don't know the room size or maximum capacity - but we do know that neither owner has provided this on both occasions it was discussed and they took the money. So no, it's not the owner who should be upset!!

How did she over invite? The venue wanted a minimum of 10 children. She told them parents would be staying.

Don't go there again. They sound unprofessional and disorganised so give it a miss. Find so where else. There must be other fun places.

I’d leave a review saying lovely venue but poor communication and not ideal for younger children as it’s preferred parents dont stay

They're thoroughly unprofessional and they couldn't organise a proverbial in the proverbial. They need to get their policy straight between the two of them. If that other member of staff acted as she did because of pressure from them, they need to sort that out too; and if she acted as she did independently, she needs booting out further training.

Then they need to state the maximum numbers for the room when people book.

At no point have they given the OP a maximum figure: just woolly comments like "they're welcome, but it'll be a squeeze"

They're a wholly unprofessional outfit who choose to compromise safety for the sake of keeping a booking, and are now attempting to pass the blame (because their staff are annoyed) onto the OP.

it probably could have been avoided with better communication (from both sides) beforehand

OP stated there would be 13 children plus parents. How else was she supposed to tell them there would be 13 children plus parents?

She was told it was okay but a squeeze, which it was and which she was happy with.

What exactly was unclear in OP's communication?

OP - if this is a place you use a lot and want to go back, my suggestion is just leave it now.

it’s their business - you’re the one who will suffer if they ask you not to return or you feel too awkward.

there’s not much value in being right if you stop stop yourself from being able to visit somewhere you enjoy,

If it's brought up again just say stop being so ridiculous. Personally I would leave a poor review and never go there again. There are plenty of businesses around who smile when they take your money and say thank you.

I’m a fire warden in my area i work in a museum and there’s actually a lot to it , you need to watch a video and do what many would call a quiz and if you get the questions wrong you don’t get passed, yes the staff should have contacted the owner you are not to blame you should never have been asked to step up to the role

Leave it, they were in the wrong not you. Take your business away from this unprofessional lot.

Don't offer to pay the staff; as far as I can tell you haven't been asked or requested to do that (and you paid what you were quoted based on an honest assessment of your event). This is a communication issue and it's not completely clear if the breakdown was between Owner A (adult daughter) and you, between Owner A and Owner B (mother), and/or between A and the staff. But the behaviour you've described from staff at the party and from B afterwards are unprofessional. I'm not sure which owner you emailed/which replied to your email but my message to A would be that the two instances of people associated with her business (employee(s) on the day, B afterwards) berating you in public are unacceptable. She may be confused by what you want or expect now; if it's just to let her know about the unprofessional behaviour so that she can address it internally, I'd tell her that. If you specifically want an apology or compensation, be clear.

Personally, I'd leave it but probably skip using them again and consider writing an honest review (unless perhaps A comes back to you and seems too understand the issue and plans to address it internally), but don't prevent your daughter from going if she's invited to another event there.

A bit of a squeeze is a completely unprofessional response.
They either can cater for the booking our not.
Health and safety is not optional.
They sound extremely unprofessional.

You have every right to be annoyed at being lectured to.
They took the booking.
They shouldn't have taken it if it is a drop your children place only.

You have every right to write that on their page.
They sound like they don't know their arse from their elbow.
Hard swerve.

Is it the sort of place where the party room is usually used by older children ie those whose parents wouldn’t necessarily want/need to stay with them for the duration of the party? If so, that could have contributed to the mix-up. I agree with the consensus that it wasn’t great communication on either side. The venue should have provided better details of maximum numbers (including participants and spectators), but you should have also asked about total capacity when making initial enquiries about booking the space. Once they had said it was better if the adults didn’t stay, I would have been really explicit about confirmed numbers (not just saying parents would stay, but also confirming the number of parents) and asking them to confirm the full party could be accommodated. It sounds like they didn’t handle it well with you during and after the party but it probably could have been avoided with better communication (from both sides) beforehand.

What an awful place! As well as being rude, & poor communicators, they seem to have a very poor attitude to fire safety- if indeed it was an issue.

This would make me wonder about how responsible they are in terms of other safety issues.

I would tell parent friends of my experience & how stressful & strange I found it - as personally I would think twice about allowing a young child to attend a party at such a disorganised place.

You did nothing wrong.

Don’t pay them a penny. Their inability to communicate & organise a children’s party is their problem, not yours. they should have been clear on min and max numbers (which would not change for different groups). They handled the situation appallingly & were unprofessional.

Personally I think she should just apologise to you and acknowledge that while she advised it would be a squeeze with the parents present nobody had actually informed you of any maximum capacity rules here.

I honestly can't see what you've done wrong, you were quite clear from the start about parents attending too.

If the owner has paid them extra (from the OP) presumably they have complained. I absolutely think the owner could have handled this better beforehand or it could have been handled better on the day.