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AIBU?

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Original poster

The venue told me off twice now on front of guests AIBU?

308 replies

StressedPartyFail · 16/10/2025 11:45

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

OP posts:
Bedtimeread · 17/10/2025 21:18

Have you explained to her all you did and that the staff didn’t assist and don’t need to be compensated? It sounds like the staff have caused this to be bigger than needed. She wasn’t clear on maximum numbers, that’s on her. No need for it to drag on.

whatcanthematterbe81 · 17/10/2025 20:47

Crikey this venue must be tiny, why are they even offering parties. Ridiculous

RawBloomers · 17/10/2025 20:44

HandmadeNanna · 17/10/2025 20:06

You said you were told there was a minimum number for the booking, but we're you given a maximum?
Just asking.

Show quote history

Is this a "cancel the cheque" comment? Or serious?

RawBloomers · 17/10/2025 20:40

BigFatBully · 17/10/2025 19:47

After what happened with Grenfell, all businesses should have a strict adherence to the legislation and an effective procedure in place to implement the rules.

Show quote history

Before Grenfell they should as well. But they didn't. And they still don't.

oneofthose · 17/10/2025 20:40

StressedPartyFail · 16/10/2025 17:08

I know my daughter and lots of her 5 year old friends love it there. When booking the enquiry was titled “5 year old party” so they were aware when booking and were aware throughout parents would be attending.

Show quote history

Could you message me the name of the venue please? It sounds remarkably similar to a place I’ve booked for my child’s party soon!

Spinmerightroundbaby · 17/10/2025 20:27

Wisterical · 16/10/2025 11:49

Don't give it another moment's thought, it's just something that happened, it's over now, move on.

Agreed. Sorry to hear you had this experience. It sounds like it cast a shadow over the event. Just draw a line now and move on. There’s nothing further for you to do.

Isinglass20 · 17/10/2025 20:25

Stressedparttfail

As I understand that if there are fewer than 10 then you can’t make a booking.

So you quote from Instagram advertisement and not from a booking form.

So I assume you have no actual proof or receipt for the number of bookings for which you made a payment, and that included payment for all adults and children.

If you have no actual receipt then I’d be concerned that no financial records are being kept in addition to no list of people in the building at any one time.

I wouldn’t be going again because if there is a fire or other incident then fire service will not know if they have rescued everyone.

There may be also apparatus which does not meet safety standards and also staff not trained in event of fire.

OP should report the venue to the Fire Service.

DibDob22 · 17/10/2025 20:16

Surely if it's a minimum of 10 then you could have invited way more. 10 kids and 10 parents who are there to supervise and support should make it easier for the staff I would have thought.

NorthernMam20 · 17/10/2025 20:15

Honestly I would give them a review online. I would also be telling the person who’s being dramatic and unprofessional to tone it down and pack in. There’s no need to make you feel stressed during your child’s party especially being a regular customer. They’re not helping themselves getting more custom if they’re carrying on about their stress levels and getting paid extra for hosting a party they were paid to do! Sounds like they can’t handle being professional and being a good host.

fetchacloth · 17/10/2025 20:07

YANBU and I wouldn't return until there was a change of management.
As another poster commented further up thread, post an honest review online too.
Their demeanor and behaviour is unacceptable.

HandmadeNanna · 17/10/2025 20:06

StressedPartyFail · 16/10/2025 11:45

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

You said you were told there was a minimum number for the booking, but we're you given a maximum?
Just asking.

BigFatBully · 17/10/2025 19:47

RawBloomers · 17/10/2025 19:42

I don't think you're aware of the wide variety of standards that are in play in small businesses around the UK.

Show quote history

After what happened with Grenfell, all businesses should have a strict adherence to the legislation and an effective procedure in place to implement the rules.

RawBloomers · 17/10/2025 19:42

CandidSnake · 17/10/2025 18:56

I don't mean to be rude because I haven't read all of the replies. Having worked in a venue that deals with party bookings, including children's parties you should have had to read and sign the terms and conditions of your booking. It would have clearly stated a maximum capacity. There is no way any reputable venue would allow you to book based on the information on a flyer. A booking form would have had to be filled in. It sounds like the manager was not forceful enough with her verbal communication about the booking initially, but I don't think you are telling the full story.

I don't think you're aware of the wide variety of standards that are in play in small businesses around the UK.

Shakeyourwammyfannyfunkysong · 17/10/2025 19:42

Tbh OP I wouldn't think on it. In fact I'd be concerned about allowing my young child into a venue that doesn't seem to have even a basic understanding of fire safety. If the room is that small then they should be very clear at the point of booking what the maximum number of people allowed is. This is on them not you. Health and safety is their responsibility.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 17/10/2025 19:41

I wouldn’t go back anymore OP - it would leave a bad taste. But I guess it depends how much you all love it.

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 17/10/2025 19:40

StressedPartyFail · 16/10/2025 15:58

She has replied just saying that we hadn’t listened to the guidance and that they were able to offer the party to be as good as usual due to numbers but I never raised any issue with this. I’ve replied asking what their maximum capacity actually is as I’m still not aware and I don’t appreciate being told off by them essentially. I walk past several times a day so don’t want to be awkward so I said I saw their point completely and I hope they see mine.

I think you should ask where the guidance was stated? Perhaps say that you were able to reduce numbers by clearing the rooms yourself/tidying etc.

Purplebunnie · 17/10/2025 19:39

I imagine parents who were with their children at the party and witnessed this may think twice about hiring the venue after the way OP was spoken to.

All it would have taken was a quite word in the OP's ear.

edited for typos

Yourcatisnotsorry · 17/10/2025 19:37

Is it pottery painting? The owners of the one near us are like this. Very unprofessional.

HevenlyMeS · 17/10/2025 19:36

Yes immensely profound points 💚

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 17/10/2025 19:34

Lefthandedkitty · 16/10/2025 12:09

Fire regs and insurance were compromised.
She would have been wiped out if someone had been injured or died if there'd been an incident.
Did every child have an adult with them? So there were 13 kids, plus yours, plus 14 adults in a room insured as suitable for (say) 20 people?
Not surprising she was upset.

But the OP was never told any of this. There was no max.

HughGrantsfurrysquirrel · 17/10/2025 19:31

InAHammock · 16/10/2025 12:05

Well, or to be told it’s something most other people wouldn’t give a second thought to, so they have permission to move on from it.

Show quote history

To be honest, I would have had a problem with it too!
Being publicly humiliated - not once, but twice. Staff histrionics about being traumatised. WTF?
Most kids party venues state a MINIMUM of 10 guests. This is standard, but if the management can't be arsed to clearly stipulate the regulations regarding max capacity then it's on them.

BigFatBully · 17/10/2025 19:31

StressedPartyFail · 16/10/2025 11:45

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

Wow, all that faff for a party? I wouldn't bother with there again. I'd find a different venue (chain play centres tend to be better than independently owned ones, as they have clear policies outlined and usually more staff, and less cliquey). If the minimum is 10 but 13 is deemed a dangerous amount, it must mean 11.5 children precisely is the right amount for a booking! Seems they were put out to go over that amount. Not very flexible, not very welcoming, not very practical (no space for parents), not to be recommended.

ahagwearsapointybonnet · 17/10/2025 19:25

If you've not spoken to the older owner before about it and she wasn't at the party, is it possible that she's thinking of a different party (with more people)? Especially if the bit about the clearing up doesn't match up with yours?

OchreReader · 17/10/2025 19:25

Unless the staff happened to have had a past experience of being in, or having to coordinate an evacuation of, a crowded room during a fire, they were not ‘traumatised’. They had an understandably stressful shift due to the incompetence of one of their managers. Misuse of the word trauma annoys me.

I don’t have a lot of patience with exaggeration, and I would have made my feelings clear to the woman when she raised this and expected that to be the end of it.

OP this is not your fault, and I wouldn’t give them a penny extra.

HevenlyMeS · 17/10/2025 19:18

Yes, excellent comment & response, full of supportive, profound suggestions
If I was the original commenter I'd be delighted with your most helpful comment Helen 🙏
I'm sure in life, we'll all at some point need to practice this kind of awesome assertiveness with someone we'll meet 💚

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