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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being delusional?

33 replies

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 04:54

Hooked up with a guy out of state about a month ago. Since then we’ve communicated off and on but nothings been consistent except for the couple days right after intimacy. He’ll randomly call and text me. We don’t follow each other on socials but he’ll type my name in on social media and view all my stories and interact with them almost everyday. Nothings been talked about as far as where we stand. Sometimes I’ll get bored and reach out send him funny memes, he always replies. He recently called me and we spent 5 hours on the phone, just chatting and laughing. He suggested that I come with him on a work trip at the end of the month, free of all expenses. I told him I’ll think about it? I just find it weird, why would I go on your work trip with you when we only talk sometimes ? We don’t live in the same state, yet stuff is confusing lol ? He claimed that we both had a lot of chemistry when we met. I am eventually moving to where he lives by the end of the year, it been my dream state for awhile. So no this has nothing to do with him.

is it normal for me to wonder or even reminisce on that night we spent together? Sometimes I think I maybe caught some feelings but I feel like that’s delusional. Sometimes I do feel like I’m being used as a filler or a woman he’s unsure about yet wants to keep in his roaster ?

OP posts:
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Idontjetwashthefucker · 13/10/2025 10:26

Why do people do this? You must be really bored OP

BauhausOfEliott · 13/10/2025 10:23

You again?

OP, you fucked this man once and he’s stayed in touch in case you’re available to fuck him again - that’s all. He doesn’t want a relationship with you and you live in different states. This is a non-starter. (I also think it’s quite likely he has a girlfriend local to him.)

You are obviously besotted with him but he doesn’t feel the same way. Your level of obsession isn’t healthy. You need to get a grip and move on. Jeez.

Starlight1984 · 13/10/2025 09:51

He suggested that I come with him on a work trip at the end of the month, free of all expenses. I told him I’ll think about it? I just find it weird, why would I go on your work trip with you when we only talk sometimes ?

Well if you find it weird, don't go. He probably just wants sex on tap away from his wife whilst he's on his "work trip".

Why are you acting all coy on your threads like you've never encountered men before?

Blueuggboots · 13/10/2025 09:50

You’re a booty call.

Spidey66 · 13/10/2025 09:39

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:18

What are you talking about ? This is my first post on this site … kinda confused

But you posted a couple of days back about a weird encounter in a nightclub! It’s still showing up on Active Posts. Plus there’s another thread using Karlaken about a guy in another state…..

TwinklyStork · 13/10/2025 09:31

DarkForces · 13/10/2025 07:09

I dunno. Dh was meant to be a one night stand. It was spectacularly unsuccessful. He's still here quarter of a century later 😂

I think that’s the exception rather than the rule, though!

Harrysmummy246 · 13/10/2025 09:15

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:18

What are you talking about ? This is my first post on this site … kinda confused

You know we can check back through your post history right?

HoskinsChoice · 13/10/2025 08:20

The 'all expenses paid' trip is just sex. You do realise that? He's using you for a bit of entertainment whenever he feels like it and he's using you for sex on this trip. If you're using him too, that's fine, (or at least it would be if you paid your share instead of sponging off him), but it's clear he is not seeing this as a relationship.

Bladderpool · 13/10/2025 08:18

Ugh, my heart sank when I opened this thread. How many times are you going to post the exact same drivel op? And cease and desist with the disingenuous crap that this is your first time here. I’ve lost count of the times you’ve written this nonsense. Go and get some fresh air eh?

Flocke · 13/10/2025 08:13

Oneo · 13/10/2025 08:10

Is it this guy? You really do need to forget about him and move on.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5411857-why-is-he-flipping-the-script

I would bet money on the fact its also this one despite the OP saying she’s never posted before.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5406638-how-do-i-get-over-this-quick

Oneo · 13/10/2025 08:10

Is it this guy? You really do need to forget about him and move on.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5411857-why-is-he-flipping-the-script

YourWildAmberSloth · 13/10/2025 07:48

If you want a relationship then you need to act like you want a relationship. Hooking up is basically casual sex. Raise the bar. It doesn't sound like he wants anything serious, so the first thing to do is drop him. Stop contacting him, chasing him, reminiscing and clear the way for something/someone more substantial. Perhaps spend a bit of time on your own, working out exactly what you do want - 'I want a relationship' is pretty vague.

Wainscot · 13/10/2025 07:42

Flocke · 13/10/2025 07:10

It’ll be the same one. It’s always the same out of state guy that’s lives where she’s moving, who “acts weird”, is obsessed by people’s arms in her photos (other people’s and his), ignores her sometimes but then talks to her, gives her money for no real reason but she happily accepts etc etc etc. It is not healthy.

Ah, gotcha.

Plugsocketrocket · 13/10/2025 07:37

In how you are writing here you sound like you need a relationship rather than that you would like a relationship. That need comes across in your energy and it gets exploited by men who just want sex. You need to address that first, become certain and confident in who you are as a person and that need for someone else aka the void goes back to being a want and your energy changes.

Flocke · 13/10/2025 07:28

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:18

What are you talking about ? This is my first post on this site … kinda confused

You know people can search your username yes? You literally posted about this guy last month. It’s there in black and white. (You’ve also posted about him before under a different username)

PollyBell · 13/10/2025 07:24

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:18

What are you talking about ? This is my first post on this site … kinda confused

Then you have twins or more

mummydoris2006 · 13/10/2025 07:22

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:18

What are you talking about ? This is my first post on this site … kinda confused

I think you're more than kinda confused, I'd say very confused. This is your 3rd post on the site about "hooking up" with randomers and not understanding the aftermath.

DarkForces · 13/10/2025 07:20

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:19

What’s DH?

Dh = husband
https://www.mumsnet.com/i/acronyms

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:19

DarkForces · 13/10/2025 07:09

I dunno. Dh was meant to be a one night stand. It was spectacularly unsuccessful. He's still here quarter of a century later 😂

What’s DH?

OP posts:
Karlaken · 13/10/2025 07:18

Flocke · 13/10/2025 07:10

It’ll be the same one. It’s always the same out of state guy that’s lives where she’s moving, who “acts weird”, is obsessed by people’s arms in her photos (other people’s and his), ignores her sometimes but then talks to her, gives her money for no real reason but she happily accepts etc etc etc. It is not healthy.

What are you talking about ? This is my first post on this site … kinda confused

OP posts:
SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 13/10/2025 07:17

Edit: ffs its you again on your 912th thread.

Break up already.

Flocke · 13/10/2025 07:10

PollyBell · 13/10/2025 06:01

Is this the same bloke as before or a different one?

It’ll be the same one. It’s always the same out of state guy that’s lives where she’s moving, who “acts weird”, is obsessed by people’s arms in her photos (other people’s and his), ignores her sometimes but then talks to her, gives her money for no real reason but she happily accepts etc etc etc. It is not healthy.

DarkForces · 13/10/2025 07:09

TwinklyStork · 13/10/2025 07:04

So stop “hooking up” with men and having sex with them. 🤦‍♀️

I dunno. Dh was meant to be a one night stand. It was spectacularly unsuccessful. He's still here quarter of a century later 😂

TwinklyStork · 13/10/2025 07:04

Karlaken · 13/10/2025 06:52

I want a relationship. I’m 25 so I want someone I can settle down with. Yes I would like to see him again, yet I don’t want someone who’s unsure about me or sees me as a casual fling

So stop “hooking up” with men and having sex with them. 🤦‍♀️