I don't like how people tend to speak to their children

When reading up about parenting did it recommended bribery with chocolate? Funny that you say don't give your child a screen if you don't want them on them but then say you gave a child chocolate, quite contradicting.
If I ate whatever I felt like eating I would be eating chocolate most of the time. Being an adult with knowledge on the importance of nutrition I am able to make an informed decision and ensure I eat well. A child doesn't have that ability, so no, we shouldn't let them eat what they want.
If I did whatever I wanted I would be up late every night and I would be spending my time walking in the park, going on my phone, going to parties. Being an adult I know that I need to go to work to pay the bills, I need enough sleep to function well, I need to keep my house clean, do the laundry and cook nutritional meals. A child doesn't understand this. I don't need to think about why they don't want to get in the car to go to the shop or school. It's very obvious that they just want to play because that's more fun but life comes with responsibilities, it's not always fun.
You really are quite patronising and ill informed. I don't usually go by the statement of people without children shouldn't comment on parenting. I've worked with children and had colleagues who don't have children but know what they are talking about but you seem clueless to the reality of having children and lack insight into a child's capabilities.

People speak to small children differently to adults because small children behave differently to adults.

Frankly, an adult who was aimlessly dithering about with their thumb in their mouth and one finger up their nose, whining in a stupid voice that they didn’t want to wear the socks they specifically said they wanted to wear two minutes ago because they smell of the colour blue, calling their sister poo-face and playing with the light switch, when we needed to leave immediately to get to an important appointment, would be getting much harsher words from me than “Put your shoes on now.”

If you want me to start asking six-year-olds what the hell is wrong with them and telling them hurry the fuck up, stop behaving like braindead wankers and put their fucking shoes on because if we don’t get to the doctor’s appointment it took me a month to book I will never speak to them again, the stupid selfish bastards - then yeah, happy to try that.

To be honest I don't have my own child

you don't say... 😂 No one would have possibly guess that!

and thank god for that, because if you did and you actually behave the way you are pretending your would, your child would be the world worst feral brat

Because children’s brains are not fully developed, they don’t process language in the same way as adults and additional words are a hindrance.
Parents also aren’t “talking” to their children in that instance, they’re giving instructions. How can you not realise that?

Your autistic 6 year old?

As my children have got older, I have discovered that I can ask them sweetly and politely to do something just once, and they will jump to do it, providing that I add a magic five letter phrase to my request:

"Or the WiFi goes off".

😆😆😆

Come back when you have your own kids and you’ve been doing the job 24/7 for at least a decade.

Pretty sure sometimes I bark it so loud that my neighbours snap to attention and put their shoes on and brush their teeth before my children do.

I don't like it either but shoes must be on and teeth must be brushed and sometimes gentle requests don't cut it.

On one occasion. And you bribed him with chocolate. Is it feasible to bribe children with chocolate the 107 other times per day you may need them to follow an instruction?

This is a load of absolute nonsense. Any parent who routinely uses bribery to get a child to do something basic like get in the car is parenting badly. Unfortunately you do need to get small children to be used to doing what they are told because otherwise, later on, when they are 14 or 16 and want to do something completely inappropriate or want to not do something they actually do have to do, it's going to be two million times harder to achieve it.

Ah yes, the non parent who knows best, including using bribery (chocolate) to get a child to do what they want and thinking that makes them smart.

No, it creates a child who demands treats for doing basic, every day expectations.

FFS, OP hasn't a clue.

Yes, especially that. A neighbours child was diagnosed with ADHD and everything he does gets put down to it. He is 9, he broke a window, smashes things up. He swears and always getting into trouble. I believe he is on his way to going to prison as an adult. He has a step dad, both his step dad and mother are alcoholics and in and out of prison for violent offences. But that’s another topic.

Have you got two accounts, OP?

Oh, Lord. I’m just going to pick one part of this up as I don’t want to sound like a dick.
A child should be able to pick what they want to eat? No. Many young children would survive on sweets given the choice.
Buckle up for when you have children - I sense you’ll look back on this and cringe!

You don't generally have to give adults multiple instructions, they usually have self motivation to get up and go to work etc.

It’s better than will you just get into the fucking car NOW ! Because I have tried 43 times to ask in a nice way 😂

I have witnessed him screaming like a banshee at dinner times and bed times, and other times, when other members of the household are triggering him, or something is upsetting him. I have been there when he is having a meltdown in a shop. He does what he wants to do, does not follow rules. He’s not acting like an angel just for me. I know how to calm him down again, and de escalate the situation, whereas his mother really struggles to do it. I get on with all the family. I believe it is because I can relate to him a lot so I can ‘parent’ him so well

You have a weird arrogance over something you really don’t understand. The difference between spending time with a friends child and being a parent is, fucking enormous. And I say that as someone who spends days with their friends children and has been a nanny for 19 years.

Bribery is not a long term solution, you gave a kid a chocolate coin (which is a stupid thing to do, you don’t bribe with sweets) to get in the car and it worked, would probably work the next day too. What works on days 3,4,5,6,7,8 when the chocolate coin isn’t enough bribery to get them somewhere?

What happens when they won’t put shoes on? I don’t mean the pair they should, I mean any pair whatsoever? When they’re only response is that they are not going to put their shoes on and they’re not going to school?

When they’re not brushing their teeth and will scream the house down before you get near them with a toothbrush?

Batshit crazy. That is all.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 the children I thought I would have and the ND children I do have, and the ways in which I have to ask or request things are SO different.
Frustrating and hilarious read.

Because children need short clear instruction about what to do?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I thought you meant the kind of parents who are really rude and disrespectful to their kids, shout at them as a default mode and call them little f**kwits or similar. You see quite a lot of it. These people are then surprised to hear their child has been in trouble for swearing or fighting in school.

Oh man 😂😂😂

Wholeheartedly agree, as a parent and as a preschool teacher