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Original poster

I don't like how people tend to speak to their children

366 replies

BeWaryFinch · 11/10/2025 19:08

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 11/10/2025 22:24

BogRollBOGOF · 11/10/2025 19:19

DH is a self-sufficient adult and responds to complete sentences in a timely fashion.

The DCs are better with a succinct "exit mode in 10 minutes" "exit mode" "socks!" "shoes!"

It's a communication style developed with much trial and error over the last decade.

In a few years when they leave the nest, I'll have time to take up cat herding as a nice, relaxing hobby to fill the void.

Excellent!!

Strangesally20 · 11/10/2025 22:24

Wow OP, totally blown away by your insight into child rearing, clearly a child whisper! Can I ask some advice. I’m ashamed to say that I put my 2 year olds shoes on without consent yesterday, he “wanted to do it by myself” (I know you don’t have kids but this is a delightful little stage they go through about 2) but unfortunately he can’t actually do it himself no matter how long you allow him, no amount of help is acceptable. Eventually I had to put them on against his will (lots of flapping and shrieking) as he had to go to nursery and my oldest to school, and yes I had to go to work. I suppose I could try explaining to the headeacher and my boss that we didn’t attend work/school yesterday because my 2 year olds is still trying to put his shoes on, what do you think? I’m sure they’ll be fine with it.

also he doesn’t really want his nappy changed and he’s done a poo, a few hours in a dirty nappy will be just fine for his skin around his genitals won’t it?

DreamyTealGuide · 11/10/2025 22:24

dizzydizzydizzy · 11/10/2025 21:59

I agree with you OP. If I said 'get in the car now' or 'out your shoes on now' to an adult would likely find those commands disrespectful. Children are still people.

Something like "Let's get in the car" or "we need to leave now so we get to school before the bell goes" is much more cooperative but still firm.

If I had to tell an adult to put their shoes on, I would not have that adult in my life for very long 😂

As a PARENT, you actually parent your child.

The lazy parents who don't have horrible feral brats little darlings that everybody tries to avoid

surreysarah · 11/10/2025 22:23

An example… I walked past a mum at the station this morning. She was yelling at her child, who must have been about five or six - telling him to shut up, sit down, etc. Of course being spoken to like that is going to affect him.

AngelofIslington · 11/10/2025 22:23

surreysarah · 11/10/2025 22:21

Not necessarily. I have DC and agree with the OP.

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So do you bribe your DC with chocolate anytime they don’t want to do something?

Original poster
BeWaryFinch · 11/10/2025 22:22

Demands shouldnt really be made of children, generally. You could give your child autonomy over what they eat. If someone demanded I eat something that I really didn't want to eat, I'd be dreaming about chocolate cake too. If your child has issues going to bed then you make their sleeping environment more appealing and they might want to then, on their own accord. If they don't like school, you try to do the same and make them feel good about going, by reminding them about their friends at school, or suggesting that teachers will help them. If they don't want to go to the supermarket, then consider that they are tired. It is all about getting on their level and understanding from their perspective. Bribery can speed things up but I wouldnt use it to make a child do something they really didnt want to do.
It's still your responsibility to be respectful towards children and not abusive towards them which is what you are doing if you are often shouting at them, speaking to them like crap. They are not adults but they are still a little individual person in need of guidance and not threats and what is essentially abuse. The way a lot of parents speak to their children makes me wince and saying that you are at your wits end or stressed is an excuse, the same excuse abusers use to domestically abuse their partners.

OP posts:
surreysarah · 11/10/2025 22:21

Sunshineandoranges · 11/10/2025 22:18

That is definitely the case.

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Not necessarily. I have DC and agree with the OP.

surreysarah · 11/10/2025 22:21

Sunshineandoranges · 11/10/2025 22:18

That is definitely the case.

Show quote history

Not necessarily. I have DC and agree with the OP.

Heylittlesongbird · 11/10/2025 22:21

Sunshineandoranges · 11/10/2025 22:18

That is definitely the case.

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So unfair!
Her friend has a child and she is basically their other parent! 😂😂😂

TheDayWeGotMinnie · 11/10/2025 22:20

DameEdnaAverage2 · 11/10/2025 19:12

If an adult annoyed me the way my son does, I'd headbutt them...so I think my son's getting a good deal with me just being a grumpy bitch.

🤣🤣🤣So true

Winebefore5 · 11/10/2025 22:19

OP thinking she’s the bees knees because she bribed a child with chocolate.
pahaha.

Sunshineandoranges · 11/10/2025 22:18

MrsMiagi · 11/10/2025 19:10

I take it you dont have children 😂

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That is definitely the case.

surreysarah · 11/10/2025 22:17

Totally agree OP. People talk to their kids horribly, then wonder why their kids play up.

Luckyingame · 11/10/2025 22:16

What ...? 🙄❓

Nerdynerdynerd · 11/10/2025 22:16

Lol... that is all

MartianBreaks · 11/10/2025 22:13

I'm sure if you have kids or when you do they'll be such well behaved little dots that you can speak to like and adult and they'll just do as you say.

If you don't have kids stfu

AngelofIslington · 11/10/2025 22:13

Why would you speak to a child as if they were an adult? They are a child, they’re not at the same emotional intelligence of an adult, their understanding would be completely different.

Octonaut4Life · 11/10/2025 22:10

OP with respect, it sounds like maybe your friend is not a great parent - but if you think bribing a child with chocolate coins is the magic solution to get them to do things, then when you do end up as a parent, you will end up with a morbidly obese child... who still won't do what you ask. Yes we should all speak to our children with respect and most parents do this the first time they ask the child to do something, but if you've tried that several times, the kid still hasn't done it, and the situation is non negotiable i.e. they have to go to school or similar, then parents need to speak more firmly. Your post does come across as extremely naive.

DinaofCloud9 · 11/10/2025 22:07

What a load of shite.

Uptightmumma · 11/10/2025 22:05

I would be furious if my child was not listening to me and someone you thought they knew better came over and started offering treats to do something, cos what has that child learnt? If I don’t do the first time I’ll get something nice or I’ll get my own way! A child is not going to get on in the real world if they don’t learn there is bad outcomes to not following instructions

Fatiguedwithlife · 11/10/2025 22:02

Oh OP, we were all perfect parents before we actually had children of our own!
Even one child it’s easy to be a smug know it all. The second one bites you in the arse and the third? It’s all gone out the window by then.

Good luck!

botheredandbewilderedagain · 11/10/2025 22:02

One thousand bags of chocolate coins later......

Mapletree1985 · 11/10/2025 22:00

BeWaryFinch · 11/10/2025 19:08

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

However, children are not adults.

SunnyViper · 11/10/2025 21:59

What a weird thread. OP is clueless about parenting.

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