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Original poster

I don't like how people tend to speak to their children

366 replies

BeWaryFinch · 11/10/2025 19:08

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

OP posts:
usedtobeaylis · 11/10/2025 19:17

They're not adults though and if you DID need to give another adult instructions like that, there would be a reason for it wouldn't there. I would imagine very few people immediate reach the 'do it now' stage without having already asked about five billion times.

Tigerbalmshark · 11/10/2025 19:16

I speak to DS the exact same way I would speak to DH - if DH had a fucking massive tantrum about going swimming or to work or putting his socks on, I’d give him short shrift too. Since he (mostly) doesn’t, I don’t need to.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 11/10/2025 19:15

My children don't like it either. I tell them I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I repeat myself, I ask nicely, I demonstrate, I remind, i do the whole thing again, i ask another 10 times and then I get louder, and I sound cross, and then they get upset. What exactly am I meant to do? They also speak to me differently to how they would for others, I'm sure they would act within the first 10x of being asked by the teacher.

Also, surely everyone speaks differently to the people that they are by far the closest to?

Evergreen21 · 11/10/2025 19:15

They aren't other adults though are they? They are children and most parents for go for a softer approach at first, I know I do. If I have to repeat myself twice then on the third time I am telling them what to do. My instructions are clear and direct and not up for negotiation. When it comes to parenting there isn't a one size fits all. You do you.

Figcherry · 11/10/2025 19:14

My dc are adults and what I notice now is the phrase ‘use your words.’

My little dgn was only 20 months and at a tediously long wedding reception being a bit whiny.
Her dm and dgm both kept saying use your words.
At 20 months she didn’t have the words to say ‘I’m tired, bored and my frilly dress is not comfy.

Bigpinksweater · 11/10/2025 19:14

That’s because they’re not adults. If they were adults they would be putting their own shoes on without prompting.

DaisyChain505 · 11/10/2025 19:14

You have to speak to children differently because they aren’t adults.

Im pretty sure you wouldn’t have to ask an adult 5 times to get into the car whilst being repeatedly ignored.

So yes sometimes people do get short with their children because it can be frustrating and tiresome.

Darkdiamond · 11/10/2025 19:12

MrsMiagi · 11/10/2025 19:10

I take it you dont have children 😂

Show quote history

Or maybe OP's children are still babies or very young. I try so hard to use polite, respectful language with my children and still find myself bellowing 'Just put your shoes on and go!!!!!'

DameEdnaAverage2 · 11/10/2025 19:12

If an adult annoyed me the way my son does, I'd headbutt them...so I think my son's getting a good deal with me just being a grumpy bitch.

ambergot · 11/10/2025 19:12

Because please can you put you’re shoes on sweetiepie doesn’t work.

rubyslippers · 11/10/2025 19:10

Loulo6098 · 11/10/2025 19:09

Because they didn't listen the first 32 times?

i miss the laugh emoji …

MrsMiagi · 11/10/2025 19:10

BeWaryFinch · 11/10/2025 19:08

Fairly sure if another adult spoke to you the way that you speak to your children you would not like it. 'put your shoes on now' 'go to bed now' 'get in the car now' many other examples, or changing your tone of voice to be different than if you were speaking to another adult. Why do parents do this.

I take it you dont have children 😂

Wherethewildthings · 11/10/2025 19:10

Oh give over. Did you also hear the multiple times they said "five mins until shoes on, two mins until shoes on, time for shoes on please".

rubyslippers · 11/10/2025 19:10

What’s wrong with clear, direct instructions?

MidnightPatrol · 11/10/2025 19:10

What stands out to me is the ‘now’.

Which is probably to just be clear tbh.

Loulo6098 · 11/10/2025 19:09

Because they didn't listen the first 32 times?