Mother in Law has been stalking and harassing me

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 2025-10-07T21:51:10+00:00

Am I being unreasonable? For months I have had a series of missed calls from a mobile number. I usually block any spam calls or my phone blocks them automatically. I will also Google numbers and if they are obviously spam I will block them. This number was not obviously spam For reference I work in a building with little to no signal. I have tried to dial this number back when I get out of work as it was not obviously a spam number. It has never answered! I have sent numerous texts after calls asking who it was and threatening to report them. Today I had a medical appointment and so I was at home but in the shower. The number called and I messaged it. I told.my husband went to my appointment and thought not much further about it today (because I temporarily lost my vision due to medical appointment). Tonight, I realised my husband had messaged me asking for the number so I sent it to him. He has replied saying it is his mother! I know she can read texts. I have a different mobile number saved for her. Why would she never mention it or have given me her new mobile number? For months I thought it may have been one of any number of people I have had to take disciplinary action with. Due to the line of work I am in that is a common occurrence. I cannot believe the number belongs to my mother in law and has effectively made me feel stalked and harassed for an excessive number of months. AIBU? I am angry, hurt confused and upset. My husband has brushed it off.

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 15/08/2026 20:19

Cycleaway · 09/10/2025 08:19

I couldn’t agree more. It’s an open forum, so everyone is entitled to chime in, but that doesn’t mean everyone is helpful or right. Lately people seem think everything is a conspiracy with hidden facts that they want to catch posters out on. People would much rather have the last word than be right than helpful or kind.

Unfortunately it’s a bit of an echo chamber, where the it’s unkind comments that provoke a reaction/response and tend to stick in peoples heads most.

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Thank you for your kind words and understanding. I really appreciate it, more than you know.

OP posts:

Christmasinmecar · 06/02/2026 10:45

ForZanyAquaViewer · 07/10/2025 23:31

If it isn’t immediately identifiable as spam then I would not block it.

For TWO YEARS?! Why?!

I have sent numerous texts after calls asking who it was and threatening to report them.

How was this more rational to you than just blocking?

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I can't bei doing with nonsense like this let alone for 2 years. It would have been blocked after the first month if some was calling, not replying to text messages and generally acting like a twat. - don't care who it is.

Swiftie1878 · 09/10/2025 11:45

176509user · 09/10/2025 07:35

Agree with you there,OP.
While MN can be helpful and has been a huge help to me ( long time ago), I’ve noticed it is now increasingly full of horrible people who have no empathy or patience at all. Perhaps a sign of modern societal changes in general.
You have no obligation to reply to questions or give updates but I hope you’ve found enough helpful responses here to help you take positive steps and move forward with your concern.

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I get that there are trolls on here, but don’t feel that’s the case in this thread.

Move forward with what concern? There is no legitimate concern. This has all been a simple misunderstanding that could have been nipped in the bud months and months ago if the OP had simply used her words.

Sometimes the best help isn’t for people to sympathise with a false concern, but to point out the illogical and unnecessary interpretation of a situation being proffered in an OP.
If the OP really wants help (rather than validation) she would be saying yes, thank you. I’ve been going crazy over nothing.

Mummyratbag · 09/10/2025 08:26

OP I think people would be less frustrated if you gave some context with regard to your relationship with MIL and what she is like. As others have said is she elderly or techphobic or a bit scatty (I'm not suggesting that elderly people are these things)? Is she a drama lama and a stirrer?

Work is obviously stressful if you believe multiple people have a motive to try and unsettle you. You also say that you and your DH are ships that pass in the night so I wonder if general stress is making this all feel more sinister than perhaps it is?

I hope you can have a conversation with MIL which clears everything up.

Cycleaway · 09/10/2025 08:19

176509user · 09/10/2025 07:35

Agree with you there,OP.
While MN can be helpful and has been a huge help to me ( long time ago), I’ve noticed it is now increasingly full of horrible people who have no empathy or patience at all. Perhaps a sign of modern societal changes in general.
You have no obligation to reply to questions or give updates but I hope you’ve found enough helpful responses here to help you take positive steps and move forward with your concern.

Show quote history

I couldn’t agree more. It’s an open forum, so everyone is entitled to chime in, but that doesn’t mean everyone is helpful or right. Lately people seem think everything is a conspiracy with hidden facts that they want to catch posters out on. People would much rather have the last word than be right than helpful or kind.

Unfortunately it’s a bit of an echo chamber, where the it’s unkind comments that provoke a reaction/response and tend to stick in peoples heads most.

176509user · 09/10/2025 07:35

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:27

I am also not impatient don't know what gave you that impression.

I always thought this was a supportive forum, even when people had differing views. I was wrong. It is full of trolls and hatred.

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Agree with you there,OP.
While MN can be helpful and has been a huge help to me ( long time ago), I’ve noticed it is now increasingly full of horrible people who have no empathy or patience at all. Perhaps a sign of modern societal changes in general.
You have no obligation to reply to questions or give updates but I hope you’ve found enough helpful responses here to help you take positive steps and move forward with your concern.

FormidableAnt · 09/10/2025 07:23

When I responded, I gave some reasons why I believed you were getting impatient responses, meaning from us. You responded, "I am also not impatient, don't know what gave you that impression."

Nothing gave me that impression because I didn't say that. I understand you might have been skimming replies or you're tired, but another possibility is you are swift to perceive criticism where it doesn't exist.

Your post is titled, Mother in Law has been stalking and harassing me. This is a very serious situation, a terrifying situation, and those of us who asked you for more context, or your history with this woman, were simply trying to fill the gaps so we could give more constructive advice.

And you think that's a definition of trolling? Lol.

Dippythedino · 09/10/2025 02:22

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

Edited

I thought you were a troll tbh by posting such rage bait, you've come across as hard work.

JillyGiraffe · 09/10/2025 02:10

notatinydancer · 08/10/2025 08:26

But she would have that number saved as OP’s. Why wouldn’t she answer it or reply to a text ?

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How do you know she has it saved? She has a new phone number, maybe a new phone…

PrincessofWells · 09/10/2025 01:33

I really cannot fathom how this could be considered stalking and tbh it's really insulting to women who have actually been stalked, harassed and intimidated by the perpetrator. I don't wish to be unkind, but this sounds a bit paranoid and misogynist.

I suppose the other side of it is my daughter in law ignores my phone calls, never answers and has text me threatening to go to the police if I don't stop calling her. I only wanted to check in on her and see how she is . . .

SnowFrogJelly · 09/10/2025 01:03

It’s a Mumsnet pile on

MoodyMargaret11 · 08/10/2025 23:11

ExtraOnions · 07/10/2025 23:32

Over the last few years you have had some calls, maybe a dozen (but you don’t seem to specify a number) from an unknown number, which turned out to be your MIL from a new number - this is neither stalking or harrasment.

The whole thing is bizzare - the ONLY times your MIL called, you were unable to pick up, and, you never spoke to her, on the phone, any other times. You also never blocked the unexpected number .

Omg could it be like this movie where the characters could never speak/get together because of some kind if time loop? What was it, had Josh Hartnet in it 😄

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 08/10/2025 23:07

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

They do. This is a post moderated site.

And @Mumsnet doesn't exist.

confusedlady10 · 08/10/2025 23:06

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

Edited

Op I know Mumsnet might not be the nicest place sometimes, but tbh people's responses to you are out of annoyance for you refusing to answer direct questions or you acting like we are ridiculous for asking them. You say you're not incompetent (whatever that is supposed to mean in this context) and that you don't feel the need to bring this up logically as a point with husband as an independent woman.

But, you won't answer as to clearly why you are unable to out right speak to her about this or what your relationship is like/meeting with her. What are you expecting? Your OP was confusing and slightly dramatic in your wording of stalking, and when people ask for clarity to try and help or understand the situation better, your responses don't help. I hope no one on here has offended you though, including myself.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 08/10/2025 22:57

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

Edited

You are the one trolling everyone. At least I hope you are....

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 22:52

I truly appreciate those who offered support or constructive advice, I also want to respond to some of the more critical and, frankly, unkind comments.

This post was difficult to write. I shared something because I’ve been dealing with an ongoing situation.

I turned to this community not for validation, but for perspective and yes, for support.
I understand that people have different opinions, and I welcome different views when they’re shared with empathy and a genuine intent to help.

Some of the responses have crossed a line into cruelty, mockery, or outright trolling and that’s not ok. Disagreement doesn’t need to come with personal attacks or assumptions about someone's character or my mental health.

We can all do better to remember that behind every post is a real person, often struggling and just trying their best.

If my situation doesn’t resonate with you, that’s fine. But if your first instinct is to ridicule or dismiss someone, I’d kindly ask you to reflect on why that is. I am sorry that this is your firet reaction

To those who have offered kind and balanced replies (even to those who don't agree) thank you. Your words meant more than you might realise.

I will not be commenting further.

@Mumsnet needs to monitor threads and remove trolls.

OP posts:

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 08/10/2025 22:43

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 17:56

Thank you for your support and understanding. I am going to come off the Internet for a while. It has turned into a wild place where I don't belong.

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Thats because you cone off like a nut job.

TheCheekyCyanHelper · 08/10/2025 22:39

Motnight · 08/10/2025 07:52

Also log with 101:😬

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You are being insane. Her MIL tried to contact her once a month. Thats not weird, its not creepy. Her hubby just forgot to tell OP his mom has a new number.

Praying4Peace · 08/10/2025 21:28

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 07/10/2025 23:24

Every month sometimes more than once a month. There was a couple.of months with zero calls but not once a year, no.

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So not very often

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:27

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:23

Not at all. I am just drained.

Take care

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I am also not impatient don't know what gave you that impression.

I always thought this was a supportive forum, even when people had differing views. I was wrong. It is full of trolls and hatred.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 21:23

FormidableAnt · 08/10/2025 21:03

You are getting impatient responses because having come here to discuss what you perceive as stalking and harassment by your MIL, you've consistently refused to answer logical questions about your relationship with her or what she is like as a person.

If she has a history of stalking and harassing other family members, perhaps it would be easier to understand why you feel she's doing it to you. If not, a once a month bum dial from someone you have spoken to cordially on the land-line during the last two years does not merit your reaction.

When things don't make sense, it's natural for people to pull at the loose threads and see where they go. And ignoring questions generally means you know the answers will shape a different narrative than the one you want to project

Not at all. I am just drained.

Take care

OP posts:

FormidableAnt · 08/10/2025 21:03

You are getting impatient responses because having come here to discuss what you perceive as stalking and harassment by your MIL, you've consistently refused to answer logical questions about your relationship with her or what she is like as a person.

If she has a history of stalking and harassing other family members, perhaps it would be easier to understand why you feel she's doing it to you. If not, a once a month bum dial from someone you have spoken to cordially on the land-line during the last two years does not merit your reaction.

When things don't make sense, it's natural for people to pull at the loose threads and see where they go. And ignoring questions generally means you know the answers will shape a different narrative than the one you want to project

Original poster

TheRealHousewifeofCheshire · 08/10/2025 17:56

Cycleaway · 08/10/2025 08:26

For a prolonged period of time, you felt as if you were being stalked or harassed. It sounds as if your job means that this would be plausible/worrying for you. And it also sounds as if for at least some of that time your DH knew that this was going on.

It is quite odd behaviour from your MiL, but it doesn’t sound as if she was stalking or harassing you, maybe just being a bit tech illiterate, and weird in not communicating her change of number or replying to your messages

I don’t think it is at all unreasonable to imagine you’d feel a bit spooked by the whole experience, whereas to them it sounds a bit of a comical misunderstanding. If you ignore the context leading up to you discovering what was going on, they might think you’re overreacting, but looking at the wider picture, you aren’t and they’re not showing a lot of empathy.

Thank you for your support and understanding. I am going to come off the Internet for a while. It has turned into a wild place where I don't belong.

OP posts:

MotherMary14 · 08/10/2025 17:56

Have you called your MIL on the landline yet for an explanation @TheRealHousewifeofCheshire? I would want to talk to her immediately to find out what she was playing at. I also wouldn't take your DH's word for it that it's her new number.

Ireolu · 08/10/2025 14:12

Doesn't make sense

I get missed calls at least twice a day from mobiles that my phone/the internet doesn't identify as spam. I block every single number if they don't leave a message. It's spam until proven otherwise.